June 05, 2022

* * *

"And he said, you look like a deformed anchovy!"

Laughter bursts out from the six males after Ricky shared this story his older brother, Yoo Youngjin, better known as Epsilon for them, had told him earlier this morning. Even Ricky, who was narrating the very story was already laughing too hard that he had difficulty finishing the story with a blast. 

Everyone sat together in the cemented stair-like seats in the soccer field while laughing their hearts out. All their stomachs were already twisting in pain due to extreme laughter and heck, they didn't know how to stop laughing!

"Epsilon tells the best jokes ever!" C.A.P cried in between his hard laughing, his hands on his stomach. "Darn, that guy is just the most hilarious person I've ever met!"

"Argh, I can't stop laughing already! Help!" L.Joe exclaimed, tears already on the rim of his eyes not because of agony but due to too much laughing. Chunji, who was beside him, was clapping like a retarded seal with no words escaping his open mouth. Chanjo was already on his back, jamming his fists on the cemented stairs as he laughed loudly.

All six contributed more noise in the buzzing soccer field. Every one of them was laughing loudly, even snorting at a few points.

Except one.

Haneun simply sat there, eyeing the six males laughing with her blank face plastered on. She simply blinked multiple times as she watched how her friends twisted and turned by every laugh they make. She didn't even crack up a faint smile or softly chuckle, and it was impossible not to notice that fact. "Something wrong, Haneun?" Niel asks as he worriedly eyes the only female. "You haven't laughed even a bit."

"She hasn't?!" Chunji gasped in astonishment. "Are you for real, Niel? She hasn't laughed?"

"Not even a smirk or a smile." Niel answers.

"... Are you for real?" C.A.P blinked. "Me and L.Joe cracked up, laughing at that joke to death... and we barely laugh at all times! How could you not laugh?"

"I don't know." Haneun shrugged as she tucked a few strands of her black hair behind her ears. 

"Did you, by any chances, find the story interesting or something? It might be the fact that she was uninterested in the story and that caused her not to smile or laugh at it." Niel asked.

"It's was kind of good." Haneun plainly asked. "But I found nothing funny."

"I swear, this girl is a cyborg wearing a human mask." L.Joe sighed as he held his forehead with his hands. Of course, Haneun sent a "you're an idiot" type of glare at the older male before averting her gaze back at Niel, who was looking the most worried for her. Successfully reading Niel, she knew that the older needed at least a brief explanation why and she came up with one.

"Mom used to say that I have a weird sense on when and what to laugh at." Haneun began to explain, earning everybody's attention. "I laugh at things you least expect to be funny and I don't laugh at those things you might think funny for yourselves. That's what mom had observed and I think I could share that with you."

"... You laugh at weird stuff then?" Changjo blinked.

"And you never knew about this?" Chunji hissed as he glared at Ricky, who whimpered by his glare. "You and her have been friends since grade school and you never knew about this fact of hers?!"

"Hyung!" Ricky whined as he began flailing his arms and hitting the older's shoulder lightly. "It doesn't mean that because I'm her bestfriend, I should know all things about her! There will be some things that'll remain unknown to me, okay?"

"Stop hitting your hyung, you punk!" Chunji growled before giving the younger a nice, crispy slap on the shoulder, making the young shriek and whimper as he rubbed the stinging part.

"Quick! Everyone, do the stupidest thing you can do and make Haneun laugh!" C.A.P instructed in a strict manner.

"Are you nuts? No body would dare to embarrass themselves out in public!" Changjo exclaimed, crossing his arms and raising a brow. 

"Just do something hilarious for Haneun to laugh!" 

"Quit it, I don't want to laugh." Haneun pouted as she crossed her arms, making everyone feel defeated. Everyone sighed and nodded sadly and were engulfed in a short silence before Ricky spoke again.

"Who wants to hear about Epsilon-hyung's story about the pumpkin lassies?" Ricky asked, grinning ear to ear. Everyone's faces lighted up and raised their hands, making Ricky start another hilarious story once again, while Haneun simply listens to them with an uninterested and blank facial expression put up.

* * *

Before Haneun knew it, it was already half of the day. 

She felt greatly bored that starring on the walls and outside was rather more interesting. It was officially lunch time already, but her legs won't cooperate with her brain, which kept on telling them to move to the canteen already. She felt weak and groggy that she didn't have much energy to stand up and walk despite wanting to do so.

"Haneun!" she heard Ricky call out not a far from where she sat. Curious and alerted, Haneun didn't hesitate to turn her head around to see the shorter male. To her surprise, Ricky's mildly shaggy hair was in pigtails and for some reason, he wore unever make up and pouted his lips in a cute manner. With a squeaky voice, he brought his balled hands on his cheeks and giggled. "Let's go have lunch with everyone now! Quickly!" he grinned.

But no, to his disappointment, Haneun kept a straight face which soon crumpled into a face of annoyance and disgust. With fast hands, she quickly hand-chopped the male's head and scowled. "What was that for?!" Ricky exclaimed while wincing in pain as he glared at his best friend, now speaking in his normal male voice. "That hurts like hell!"

"I told you dressing up as a deformed lady won't make her laugh! That's just disgusting!" Changjo chuckled behind as he slowly approached the two. Seeing the other, she sent a silent look before finally speaking in a soft voice.

"Who made Ricky like this?" Haneun questioned.

"It was mainly Ricky's idea, but originally, it was supposed to be Chunji-hyung. But since Chunji-hyung didn't want to, Ricky was the one to do his own idea." Changjo answered.

"I meant who made him look like this?" Haneun repeated.

"Ah, C.A.P-hyung did, with a little bit of help from Niel-hyung."

To the two boys' astonishment, Haneun stomped out of the classroom and soon, the two heard ear-piercing shrieks, most likely to be from a guy and they didn't have to guess anymore who were the ones who shrieked that way.

Surely C.A.P and Niel.

* * *

"I tried warning you, but what did you do, you never listened!" Chunji cried as he hit C.A.P's shoulder a bit lighter than he usually does. Of course, having them sitting on the cemented seats in the soccer field again, C.A.P freely let out a loud groan of pain before returning the attack to Chunji, who winced in pain.

"Quit hitting your senior!" C.A.P exclaimed.

"You act like a junior, so why shouldn't I?!" Chunji countered. "And besides, you shouldn't have dressed our poor Ricky like that! He looked horrid and all living things might die if they see him!"

"I don't know if I should feel grateful that you're on my side or if I should feel offended by some points." Ricky glared, making Chunji simply flash a bright smile at him.  "But it was impressive that Haneun didn't even crack up on that!" he added.

"Who'd laugh on that thing?" L.Joe growled. "You looked like a monster!"

"Blame Minsoo-hyung and Niel-hyung!" Ricky cried out, making Haneun breathe out deeply and roll her eyes before eyeing the males. As always, Niel notices this and his once bright smile slowly fades.

"We're sorry." Niel said, audible for all of them. "We shouldn't have pulled such indigestable joke in the first place. I guess we ruined your day, huh, Haneun?"

"... No. It was alright. I'm touched by how you tried your best to make me laugh or at least smile a bit." she plainly said as she looked Niel with her seemingly lifeless eyes. The frown didn't leave Niel's face, upsetting Haneun more. With force, she pinched the older's cheeks and stretched them upward to make him seemingly smile. "Oppa, you look horrible if you're not smiling. Smile." she said, making Niel smile and giggle.

"Alright, alright." he smiled sweetly before patting the younger. "I'll smile."

Haneun nods in satisfaction before she averts her eyes to her hanky and like her mother, she drags the soft fabric carefully and gently on Ricky's cheeks, wiping off some left make-up. Surprised by the sudden kindness, Ricky jolts but soon calms down, blinking a few times before smiling brightly and wrapping his arms around the female, catching the female off guard. "Thank you, Haneun!" Ricky childishly cried, giggling in between.

"Get off. Now." Haneun growls, but Ricky remains unfazed, only leaving the female sighing and defeated, thus, letting her ally simply hug her again. 

* * *

"Cha Haneun!" Haneun hears C.A.P cry out as she spins her head around to see the older male. As she turned around, her blank face wrinkled into a face of disgust and annoyance as she sees the older making a funny face with doodles on his face. Completely pissed, she reaches out for his head and forcefully pushed her hand forward, making C.A.P stumble behind. 

"What was that for?!" C.A.P cries out in pain as he rubbed his back. 

"She still didn't laugh." L.Joe sighed as he and Chunji helped the eldest up on his legs. "Seriously, Haneun, do you even know the word 'laugh' and 'smile' and 'giggle' and-"

"I know them." Haneun cuts off, her hands on her bag straps. "And seriously, you're still into the challenge of trying to make me laugh?" she sighs as she eyes the six.

"We want you to smile at least a bit!" Changjo pouted.

"There's nothing funny about your actions, okay? Now, get moving and go home like I am doing now."  Haneun commanded as she turns her back away and begins walking down the corridors. With his careful hands, Niel pulls out his baby-blue hanky and wipes the blank inked doodles off of C.A.P's face and quickly flashes a dissatisfied look while doing so. 

"What's with the long face, Daniel?" Chunji calls out, catching the younger's attention. "You look down."

"What're you saying, hyung? I'm fine." Niel smiled.

"Don't lie at me, I know your dissatisfied face, Niel. What's bothering you?" he asks again, answered by a deep sigh before Niel averts his eyes away from Chunji.

"It's nothing serious." Niel smiles before standing up and grabbing his bag. "I'll go ahead now, see you tomorrow, hyung! Juniors!" he cries before sprinting away until he had disappeared in the horizon.

Unknown to them, Niel ran off ahead of them to chase the emotionless female, Cha Haneun. Thankfully, he was a fast runner and it didn't had to be difficult for him to catch up with the female, who was calmly and slowly walking down the hallway. "Haneun! Wait up!" Niel cries out as Haneun spins around just to see the older male catching up on her.

"If you're here to try and make me laugh or smile, forget it, oppa. I'm not in the mood to do so." Haneun glares as she saw Niel. "Go home."

"I am." Niel grins as he walks beside the female. "Do you mind if I... walk along with you?" he asks, earning a deep sigh before Haneun eyes the older male once again. 

"I don't mind. I guess we do take the same route to go home anyway. Let's go." Haneun states out as she walks off. "And please, don't try and annoy me, Niel-oppa. I might hit you mercilessly like I do to Ricky."

"I can assure you that I won't be a both, Haneun!" Niel giggles before the two walks off, out of the school grounds to head back to their own residences.

The sound of the doorknob turning alerted Haneun, who was sitting comfortably on the couch as she reads a book Chunji suggested her to read earlier. The book wasn't really Chunji's, but it belongs to his older brother. To be honest and much to her surprise, Haneun finds herself completely imersed in it, until the door's sound of opening distracted her, and of course, it be but her mom, Hakyeon.

"Hi, sweetie!" Hakyeon waves as he puts down his bag to give his beloved daughter a tight motherly hug, expressing his love and affection to the young teen, who tries shoving him away. "How'd your day go, hm? You seem hagard!"

"Oh, you won't believe what the guys tried to pull out!" Haneun sighed as she plopped down on the couch. 

"What?"

"They tried making me laugh since Ricky told that stupid joke Epislon-oppa told him earlier that morning. When I didn't laugh, everyone was suddenly thrilled with the challenge of trying to make me laugh or at least smile, even if it was faint! It was really bothersome and most of all, Ricky and C.A.P-oppa drew and put make-up on their faces! They looked horrible and embarrassing!" Haneun whined as she face-palmed herself. 

"Aw, I'm sure they were just curious on what things make you laugh, honey." Hakyeon giggled. "You do have a weird sense of humor." he giggled.

"Yeah? Can you make me laugh then?" Haneun asked, eyeing her mother intensely. 

"I'm your mom, there's nothing I can't do when it comes to you, Haneun, my dear." Hakyeon grinned.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Definitely. After dinner, I bet I can make you laugh." he smirked.

"Challenge accepted." Haneun nodded before averting her attention to the book she had been reading previously. 

Hours lapped quickly and before both of them knew it, dinner was done. Hakyeon found himself doing the dishes while Haneun diligently cleared the dining table. It wasn't long before Haneun was finished and she was on the couch again, reading the book Chunji lent her. Hakyeon saw her and smiled softly as he tried building his plan. He knew exactly that foolish stuff won't make his daughter laugh, but the most unexpected things would.

Silently, he approaches the concentrating female, making Haneun raise her head up. "What is it, mom? Do you need something?" Haneun questioned as she tilts her head. 

"Can you blow on this for me?" Hakyeon asks as he brings up his closed fist, making Haneun wonder why. 

"For what?"

"Just do so."

Obediently, Haneun blows softly on her mom's hand and afterwards, Hakyeon slowly opens it with a "bruu" sound accompanying it. There was a solid sound of silence for five seconds flat before Haneun bursts into a soft laughter, her head lowered so Hakyeon wouldn't see her laughing face. "I told you I can make you laugh!" Hakyeon chuckled as he clapped proudly.

"You looked idiotic, who wouldn't laugh?!" Haneun cried as her head was still buried down under her bangs. Slowly calming down, she raisese her head but ends up laughing softly again, thus, lowering her head again. Just before she can lower her head again upon feeling another laughter burst out, she ends up smiling while facing her mother and had no choice but to let her see her laughing face. 

She looked different. She looked a lot more alive. The colors of her persona finally bursting out with that sweet and soft laughter of hers. Her sense of humor was something, but at least she was laughing now, right?

But...

Hakyeon, on the other hand, had his smile slowly vanishing upon the sight of his daughter laughing and smiling to her heart's content. For some reason, he felt something bothering him. She resembled something... painful. "Mom?" Hakyeon hears Haneun call out, making him snap out and blink multiple times. "Are you alright?" she worriedly asked.

"Ah, y-yes. I'm alright, sweetie." Hakyeon faintly smiled as he spoke softly. "I'll just... finish washing the dishes, alright?" he faintly spoke as he slowly walked away.

Feeling somewhat guilty, Haneun's smile vanished by the next second. She silently eyes her mother before she heads to her room, lying that she would just change her clothes, when in reality, she was just going to write down her confusion and emotions down the white diary.

06-05-22

Laughter is such a valuable sound. 

They say laughter is the best medicine too... though I don't get it on how it becomes the greatest medicine to all living diseases in the world. 

Based on observations, when laughing, it gives off a light feeling in you, sometimes pain when you laugh too much. I felt the lightness in my chest and somewhat felt bright while laughing due to mom's action. I never understood my sense of humor and I guess mom is the only one that does. 

But something wonders me. When he saw me smiling, he frowned for some reason and pain shot in his eyes. I saw the agony and sadness coarse through his whole being as his colors went down the drain. It was dumbfounding indeed.

It kinda concludes me one thing... yet I am not sure. When I smile, mom frowns. Does that mean that me smiling is something bad to her? I want to know. What's with my smile that removes his smile?