June 27, 2022

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Only the sound of the heart monitor beside her woke Haneun up. To her surprise, she wakes up in a white bed in a white room. A flower was on her left, placed carefully inside a rather colorful porcelain vase. The scent of her environment was different from that of their residence, and it was something that rather made her confused and shocked. 

She was dressed in a hospital gown, her black hair fixed neatly and combed perfectly down her shoulders. She had something injected on her arm and when she tugged a bit, she could feel a slight sensation but it was bearable.  Haneun looked around and tried sitting up straight but she was too weak to do so. It was as if her body was drained of energy.

Memories of what happened to her before were hazy. As much as she wanted to recall things, she couldn't. They were blurry. Unclear.

Just as when she was about to get up, she heard this familiar voice ringing in her surroundings, just for her to realize that it was no other than her mother, Hakyeon, calling. "Mom-!" Haneun gasped upon seeing Hakyeon burst out of the doors, worry and fear written all over. To her surprise, Hakyeon bursts into tears before stomping nearer and nearer to her, just to glare at her with fury.

"Mom?" Haneun blinked.

"You punk! How dare you!" Hakyeon hissed as he shook his daughter vigorously, surprising Haneun more. "You--- you little trouble maker! You rascal! You're going to be the death of me, you--"

"N-hyung! Calm down!" Ken cried out as he ran towards the tanned male, holding his shoulders as he tried prying him away from Haneun. Unfortunately, Hakyeon wasn't pried off as the poor male crumbled and fell on his knees, weeping on Haneun's bed. Everyone, namely Hyuk, Ravi, Hongbin and Leo, soon came inside, worries all over them similar to that of Hakyeon's.

"Oh-! Haneun, you're awake." Hyuk gasped.

"Oppa? Dad?" Haneun blinked as her eyes trailed Leo, who made his way in between Hakyeon and her. She was soon calmed down as her father hugged her tightly, giving her the feeling of being settled and safe. "Dad? What happened?" she questioned as she eyed her father.

"You collapsed yesterday, Haneun." Ravi frowned. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Why did you not tell me?!" Hakyeon exclaimed as he stood back up, grabbing his daughter by her arm. The grip was too tight that the female teen had winced in pain.

"N. Calm down." Leo begged, holding the other's arm.

"You jerk, do you want to me to die in worry?! Why have you never told me about it!?" Hakyeon continued to scream as he shook his daughter, who was in the state of shock.

"T-tell you what, mom?" Haneun asked.

"That you're dying!"

The words that slipped Hakyeon's lips made the heart monitor beat faster, signaling them that Haneun's heartbeat was dangerously increasing. Seeing that, Hongbin ran towards the teen, calming her down and giving Hakyeon a nice, crispy hit on the head. "N-hyung, now that we're totally aware of Haneun's condition, at least be a little calmer?"

"... Sorry." Hakyeon whispered as he tears up again. "I'm just shocked, okay? I don't know what to do now that we know you're condition, Haneun... and how you were able to keep that from us!"

Confused, Haneun looks at him with blinking and confused eyes before tilting her head a bit. "Mom." Haneun softly calls out. "W-what are you talking about in the first place? What are you addressing as... something you already know?" she asked in a shaky tone.

Eyes met hers. Shining through them were Hakyeon's teary eyes and Leo's agony-filled ones. The others were not strong enough to give eye contact and there, Leo spoke with a nearly inaudible voice.

"Your heart, Haneun." Leo stated out. "Your heart condition. That's what it is."

* * *

Hours flew rather quicker than they've expected. The others had already gotten permission to leave first due to their occupations and some left works, leaving Leo and Hakyeon beside their weak daughter. Silence filled the air, only the sound of their breathing heard clearly. "Are you feeling better now, Haneun?" Leo asked as he patted his daughter's head. 

"Mhm." Haneun shyly nodded. "So... what happened yesterday?... Did that woman from yesterday go already? Is she going to bother us still?" 

"No. She's gone now, Haneun." Leo assured, patting his daughter's head. "She's all gone now, don't worry."

"She is?"

"Mhm. Don't worry."

A smile slowly formed in Haneun's lips as she made eye contact with her father. Soon, she feels Hakyeon holding her hand tightly yet carefully. Once her eyes met his, she saw how worried her mother was and that struck her with guilt. "Mom, I'm sorry." Haneun softly said as she looked at her mother's eyes. "I'm sorry for-"

"Why did you keep such important fact hidden?" Hakyeon cuts off, looking back at his daughter in teary eyes. 

"Wha?"

"Why did you keep your condition a secret from us, Haneun?" 

There was an awkward silence as Haneun averted her eyes away, obviously trying to hold in the tears that threatened to come out. After getting a hold of it, words slowly and softly spilled out of her lips, eyeing her parents bravely. Unfortunately, the seemingly strong-standing Haneun crumbled before Hakyeon and Leo's eyes as tears successfully rolled down her cheeks, making her blink multiple times and unconsciously wipe them away quickly. 

"Haneun? Oh my gosh- why is my baby crying?!" Hakyeon cried in panic as he pulled himself close to his weeping daughter. The instincts of a mother rose in him on its own and before he knew it, he was clutching his daughter tightly, patting her back lovingly. "Haneun, sweetie, what's wrong? D-does something hurt? Is your chest feeling tight again?"

"N-no." Haneun sniffed. "I feel bad for this, mom. I made you guys get super worried and I shouldn't have done such. I-"

"Haneun, it's okay." Hakyeon smiled. "It's nothing to us, okay? We just want to know the reason why you kept it from us and I'm sure me and your dad can understand, right? "

"M-mhm."

"Good. Now, stop crying, you look like an ugly, old lady!" Hakyeon joked to loosen up the atmosphere. Once he sees his daughter calmed down, he sits down again, just beside Leo, who flashed a rather worried look at the young teen, and flashed his signature sunny smile. "So, you were saying?"

"I was afraid." Haneun sniffed as she rubbed her eyes. "I was afraid to tell you because... I didn't want to hurt you again. I don't want to see mom or dad sad or hurt. I was afraid to hurt you both with such fact that I'm in a dying state because of this... heart condition I suffer. I wouldn't want you to worry neither and I didn't know what to do when I knew such fact." 

"Haneun, it's okay to be afraid." Leo comforted as he patted his daughter's shoulder. "It's okay to be afraid. We all get afraid, don't we?"

"Yes." she nodded. "B-but... in mom's case, he's always tired and seemingly sick. He's burdened more than enough and I'm sure that I'll just be an addition in his worries if I tell him. I didn't know what to do by then and-"

Seeing Haneun tear up woke up this "fatherly" side of Leo as he hurried towards his daughter, hugging her close and patting her back lightly. Using his blue handkerchief, he hurriedly wiped the female's tears lovingly, shushing her to calm down. "Hey, it's okay. Now we know, okay? N, we're not angry, are we?" Leo asked.

"Why would we be angry?" Hakyeon sobbed as he hugged his daughter tightly, crying along, making Leo sigh at how immature yet cute both his beloved and daughter looked like. "My gosh, my poor baby suffering." he weeped.

"So, how much longer?" Leo asked as he eyed Haneun, who was confused and clueless in between tears. "How much long are you going to be... alive, Haneun?"

Silence filled the air as Hakyeon froze and eyed her along with Leo. Haneun gulped a hard lump in before soft and nearly inaudible words spilled out of her lips. "Three." she mumbled.

"Three?" Hakyeon blinked. "Three...?"

"Three years?" Leo blinked.

"Days." Haneun breathed. "Three days left until I... well, go."

At those words, Hakyeon and Leo felt the weight of the whole world on their shoulders. The time they have to mend everything was three days and that's the only time they have before their one and only daughter takes her leave to paradise. Tears wanted to burst out of Hakyeon and Leo but of course, wanting to appear strong in front of their little girl, they held it in bravely. A smile crossed Leo's once emotionless face as he sat next to Haneun. "That's enough for us." Leo smiled. "Though we want you to be here a bit more, we can't do anything, can we?"

"The doctors say that I had it in me for years now, and it only took effect this year. No wonder my chest would often hurt and tighten at times when I'm tired, stressed or too emotional. You know what I'm saying, right?" Haneun blinked.

"So that's why you have that habit of clutching your chest!" Hakyeon cried. "Haneun, you really should've told me!"

"Even if I did, there's nothing to do." Haneun sighed. "A heart transplant would have fifty-fifty chances. The heart might not work on me or it might result to disfunctioning of a few vessels or such. There's no therapy for the heart neither so in either choice, I die."

"... So, all we really have to do is face that fact that you're dying, huh?"

"Yes. Whether we like it or not." Haneun sighs.

"Then!" Hakyeon roared as he shot up, surprising Leo and Haneun. "We're going to have the best three days you can ever desire for, dear Haneun!" he grinned as he flashed that assuring smile at her. 

"Is that even possible?"

"Of course! This is Cha Hakyeon you're talking to, the unstoppable N!" Hakyeon boasted, making Leo crack up, leading to Haneun and Hakyeon's laughter. "What? You meanie! Why are you laughing at me, Leo?" Hakyeon pouted as he began hitting Leo playfully. "You big, big meanie Leo!" 

"Yah, that hurts!" Leo laughed as he tried prying the other male away. "Sheesh, you're being too childish again!"

"You two are equally childish." Haneun butts in, grinning innocently, making her parents giggle.

* * *

"Haneun, sweetie!" Hakyeon called out as he opened the door, revealing him and Leo. By the next second, Haneun raised her head, looking away from the book Ravi had bought and given her earlier, to look at her mother. "You've got a few visitors, dear. Well, six of them." he grinned.

And just as Hakyeon had stated it, six boys, two the same age as her, the rest older than her, rushed inside, worry written all over their faces. One was already tearing up, namely Ricky, who fell onto his knees upon seeing the difficult state of his best friend. "Haneun!" he weeped as he held his best friend's hand tightly. "My goodness, look at you! You're all pale! Tell me you're going to get better!"

"I'm okay, Ricky." Haneun assured with her soft, angelic voice. "I promise you that I am and will be okay. Come on, stop crying already, you look hideous with all those tears, you baby."

"Who wouldn't cry upon seeing your situation! You're... injected with random needles and everything!" Ricky whined.

"Sheesh, stop babbling nonsense, this is all for the better. I promise, I'll be good." Haneun smiles. "So, what brought you here? Visiting me and everything perhaps?"

"Here, I made these." Chunji said as he handed the female teen a box. With her slightly blurry eyesight, Haneun peeks inside and sees her favorite treat, macaroons, in the very flavors she likes! She flashes one of those angelic smiles  "Oppa, you didn't need to." she smiles.

"I brought a few fruits too!" L.Joe cried out as he placed a basket filled with various fruits beside Haneun. C.A.P then steps in and inspects Haneun before frowning worriedly.

"Gosh, you're so pale." C.A.P frowned. "Are you sure you're okay? Vitals good?"

"I'm okay. I'm just sick, but I'll get better." Haneun answered.

"Three more days, right?" Niel frowned as he sat beside the weakening female. "Three more days before you...-"

"Mhm. Three more days." Haneun nodded sadly. "I wanted to extend my days of living but we all know that it's not possible, right? We just have to accept reality. Don't worry, I promise to watch over you guys." she assured.

"D'aw, stop! You're making me cry!" Changjo sniffed as he tapped Haneun's hand gently. "C'mon, really!"

"You know that what I meant by 'watching over you guys' is haunting you guys twenty-four seven." 

"Yah!" Ricky cried out as he shot up, colors drained the moment he heard "haunting you". "I swear, Cha Haneun, if you dare show yourself from under my bed, I will not hesitate to kick your face straight! I swear to everything around me!"

"You can't kick a ghost, stupid." L.Joe sighed. "They don't have bodies."

"Ju-just promise me that you won't haunt me, okay? Promise me!" 

"Fine, fine." Haneun laughed softly as she looked at her best friend. Soon, she and the six males were laughing with their whole hearts, pouring out their joy and everything by every single second that passed with their beloved friend, Cha Haneun.

Meanwhile, outside, Leo and Hakyeon had decided to sit and stay outside for a while. Despite the smiles they wore while in front of their daughter, they were actually crumbling deep inside. Well, what parent wouldn't, right? Hakyeon concealed every tear that threatened to roll down his cheek earlier but now, they were rolling down uncontrollably. Leo bravely stood in front of his daughter but now, his face showed every agony that he felt as he clasped Hakyeon's hand tightly. The sight pained Leo immensely looked at Hakyeon, sobbing quietly.

"N." Leo called out, grabbing the other's attention easily. "Three days, can we do that?"

"We have to." Hakyeon sniffed. "It's for Haneun, we need to give her the best three days of her remaining life. We need to, Leo, we need to." 

"Hey, stop crying, you look like an ugly... chocolate-man or something." Leo sighs as he pats the other's back. "C'mon, we're going to do everything for her, aren't we? We're going to do everything."

"I know." Hakyeon nods. Soon, the couple soon hears faint footsteps heading their way, just to reveal that it was no other than Ravi, Ken, Hongbin and Hyuk, bringing a few gifts and healthy snacks for the family. "Hyung!" Hyuk called out as he waved his hand at the older sitting a few feet away. 

"How's Haneun doing?" Ravi asked worriedly. "Is she doing well?"

"Mhm. She had a few friends that visited her, and I think they're helping her with the fast recovery." Leo answered. 

"So, three days, huh?" Ken frowned as he sat down. "What do you intend to do with her on these last days she has?"

"... We want her to leave in peace and with everything answered." Hakyeon answered.

"Answered?" Hongbin blinked.

"That girl surely has lots of questions running in her mind." Ravi tried explained. "And we need to answer every single one. That's as far as we can go."

"Exactly." Leo nodded. 

Silence filled the air as Hakyeon soon closes his eyes, head falling on Leo's shoulders silently. The rest were mutually silent as well, simply waiting outside Haneun's room, hearing the laughter from Haneun and her friends. 

06-27-22

There's only three days left. 

Due to me collapsing yesterday, I wasn't able to tell a bit of what happened. In a few words, well, dad's mean sister crashed in our house and when I got home, they were all shouting. VIXX-oppas were also there, trying to stop the fight. Mom was crying and the next thing I recall was that I black out.

Mom and dad, and well, the rest as well, know about my condition. Of course, just like what I imagined, they broke down to tears... and as much as I didn't want to admit it, mom looked extremely ugly when he cried. Not trying to sound mean, but just being honest.

Anyways, yeah, I finally revealed EVERYTHING to them. It wasn't easy, with all the tears that escaped my eyes and everything, but yeah, I managed to explain everything.

Despite the hardships and my hard recovery as my days slowly wither away, a few friends of mine dropped by to visit. Ricky, Changjo, Niel-oppa, L.Joe-oppa, Chunji-oppa and C.A.P-oppa. They had a few gifts along with them too and lovingly gave it to me.

Ricky was crying by the saw me. I couldn't help but joke around that I'll haunt him once I'm gone but I soon took the teasing back since well, my best friend IS  a crybaby. 

The day passed rather well, and thank goodness it did.

Three days left. Three more days.

And it's goodbye to everyone.