A warm and sunny weather for a melancholic day.

Seonya was slowly walking her way down the stoned path to see her lost love as she was tightly holding onto a bouquet of flowers in between her hands.

She held in her tears and tried to control her emotions the best she could; a week had already past since then and all she did was hide in her corner wishing, over and over again, to go back to how things were before, to erase everything that happened in those last months and just have the happiness she was bathing in back inside of her.

She had someone who truly loved her taken away from her and even though she felt she had to hate him, she wasn’t capable of doing that anymore. Maybe because she never thought she’d lose him like she did but now that she knew that he was gone and definitely not coming back, the last bit of her world fell into pieces.

Nobody could approach her and she wanted to stay this way. She didn’t care about anything else anymore; even the idea of moving out of the city was so foreign to the point it wasn’t even making sense anymore; why run when everything is gone?

The more she fell back into her dark thoughts, the tighter she was holding onto those flowers; she needed something strong to hold onto and for now these flowers were all that were left; one step away from them and she would break.

Once she was standing in front of his grave, she kneeled down and looked down on her lap, having the two rings she was wearing on her index finger in her sight. She looked at them long enough to have imagined herself living the life that they represent; the perfect life away from all harsh things that tore them apart, the one that he promised he would give if she had just followed him after begging her to runaway.

“I should’ve listened to you Hyunseung… We should’ve run away together when we had the chance, when you gave me the chance…”

She lifted her head up with her eyes landing on his engraved name across the headstone. She gently placed the bouquet in front of it, letting her touch linger a little bit longer before pulling her hand away, placing it back on her lap as she tightly held onto her pants while letting her head drop once again.

She didn’t have the energy to cry anymore; she felt like that’s all she had been doing with everything that had been going on and never felt like she could’ve become strong like she wanted too.

She didn’t have a shoulder to lean on anymore to cry so she held it in; she kept it all inside and let her heart have the ache.

“I should be hating you for what you did to me but I-I can’t… I can’t hate you anymore… It’s too hard and too painful – I just need you to come back… I want you to come back home with m-me.”

With a shaky breath, she hugged herself as she wrapped her arms around her chest, leaning her upped body to the front with the top of her head resting against her knees. She had her eyes closed and tried to picture herself out of everything, just finding herself back to the day where she heard him say ‘I love you’ for the first time.

‘I still love you… I’m so sorry.’

At the beginning it was just suppose to be a job, a meaningless job but everything changed the second I looked into her sad eyes. They were full of pain and desperation; I felt like I needed to do something and change that look on her face.

I promised my father that I wouldn’t disobey him; I couldn’t end up like Stefanie. She may have given up her life to save her love but I didn’t have anybody for that so there wasn’t any point to betray him.

I guess I was wrong.

I fell in love with her.

My beautiful swan, she was just so breath-taking it was impossible to look away without being drawn in.

Despite his orders, I couldn’t ignore the way I felt about her; I couldn’t just ignore the strong pounding of my heart against my chest whenever I was thinking about her or even when she was so close to me.

I loved her so much but I had to pretend that I didn’t… I had to make believe to my father that I was following his rules and that I was just playing a game.

Seeing his satisfaction… That was my queue.

I had to find a way out of here and I needed to take her with me. I had to protect her from this reality she was so oblivious about.

I had to protect her innocence but that stupid uncle of hers ruined everything. Being part of her light, I suddenly became the shadow that was roaming around her, stuck to her without her knowing it.

I became the black swan to her white feathers and it was ruining me.

I needed to feel her against me, I needed her close by so I wouldn’t lose my sanity.

But day by day, the further apart she was from me, the more delirious I was becoming. I wasn’t myself anymore but I still had to pretend to that stupid father of mine that I was perfectly fine and that everything was going according to plan.

But when I pulled that trigger… Couldn’t she see that I wasn’t aiming at her? Couldn’t she understand that I was just tricking everybody else but her?

Wasn’t I clear enough?

I would never harm her. I can’t harm my elegant ballerina; the only precious and perfect part of my horrendous life.

The day we ran under the rain, the day we first kissed and we made love was the most memorable moment of my life; I had finally built up the courage to confess my undying love to her and when she told me she loved me, I couldn’t be happier.

For that day I had forgotten everything around me, all the trouble that was in my life were all pushed aside for one night.

That’s all I needed to realize that she was the only thing I needed to live. I didn’t need my father nor did I care for him anymore; I had to build a life of my own and she was going to be the one standing by my side while we build our world together.

I love her so, oh my gorgeous Love. So perfect within my embrace, I can hold her forever…

But that didn’t happen, instead I was cast aside like an outsider and watched her falling in love with that bastard; the one that killed my sister, my little sister that poured out her blood to save someone like him.

It angered me.

I felt betrayed and played but then again, who was I to feel this way?

Didn’t I betray her? In her eyes, wasn’t I the bad guy in the picture? The villain?

She ran away into his arms and I could feel my heart break in two and from two to a thousand pieces when I noticed that he had captured her heart; he stole it from me.

That stupid, stupid and careless man stole my reason to live and I felt numb, worthless; nothing good came after she left me. Only nightmares invaded my mind as I imagined myself watching her live a life that I could’ve given her only if she had stayed longer instead of running away. I could’ve erased that fear in her eyes, the trembling of her body as she looked at me completely scared; I could’ve taken that all away and shower her with my love by taking that fear from her eyes and replace it with hope and by making her body shiver from the passion I would sway as I would make love to her and not give her fear.

There can’t be fear between us.

All there was, was hope.

But it ran away the same day she did.

Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her touch, everything is only an echo now, resonating through every part of my being.

That’s all she became; an echo.

I hated my father more and more every single day that passed by after she left. I despised him for putting me through this, for making me destroy the glimpse of happiness that was lingering inside my heart.

To turn off that switch that made me see things with a clear mind, with a calm soul.

I would’ve destroyed everything about him if that meant that I could have her back but fear stopped me.

I was afraid of him.

If betraying him would have given me the same fate as my poor sister, I wasn’t ready for it. I couldn’t be dead; I had plans to build a future and you can’t do that when you’re lying underground.

But… if it meant that my lovely beauty was going to have her future… I should do it for her, right?

She deserves this… Much more than I do.

I did nothing good after that trigger. I’ve wrecked our hope for the future, our desire to live the rest of our lives together; us against the world.

‘I will always love you… I’m so sorry…’

“Seonya?”

She turned her head to the side to see Joon slowly walking her way.

She ignored his calling and turned her head back to the headstone, still tightly clutching onto the fabric of her pants.

She felt him sit next to her and gently placed his hand above her. She looked down on his hold and looked up at him; they haven’t spoken since that day thinking that they didn’t have anything to say to each other since it was technically all her fault.

She pulled her hand away but he quickly took it back as he lightly pulled her against him to stare at her straight in the eyes.

“Don’t ignore me anymore… I can’t take it-”

“Are you kidding me? You’re the one that had a gun pointed at my head!”

She pushed him off and stood back up on her feet. She was about to walk away when he went back to grab her arm, pulling her back in.

The sudden invasion made her angry as she fought him off and roughly pushed him away, making her lightly stumble backwards.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

She turned her back on him and walked out but soon found herself stopping in her tracks when she bumped into him after he had ran to stand in front of her.

“I’m not leaving you alone. You need me.”

“I don’t need you; I hate you.”

“And don’t you think that I should be hating you too?”

“Yes. Why aren’t you?”

“I can’t. Not anymore.”

“Wh-why?”

“Because you need a shoulder to lean on…”

She looked at him with her eyes wide open, taken aback by his words. Never had she thought that he would turn the page just for her. She could still feel the end of the gun against her head and still remembers the way he was looking at her with hatred and disgust.

All she could see now was a man willing to comfort her because he knows that she’s in pain; after all, he’s been through this, he knows how it feels.

“What happens now then? Where do we go?”

She looked at him with some glimpse of hope across her eyes, praying that he would have the answer.

“Whatever you need, I’ll be here for you-”

“As a friend… right?”

“Not if you want more from me…”

“I don’t think I’m ready for this yet… Just like you, I still love him… I guess I always did…”

“I know; take your time. I’ll be waiting.”

He took a step closer to her and gently cupped her cheeks as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers before softly kissing her.

The moment gone, he slowly pulled away without letting go of her; he wiped away the tear that was rolling down her cheek as she opened her eyes to look at him. She was left speechless as she listened to his last words.

“Just… don’t forget about me, it would be a shame to waste something great that could’ve happened between us…”