Another sleepless night.

I couldn’t sleep and I knew why; it was because of that stupid kiss.

I don’t even know why I’m putting so much thought into it, I mean it came out of nowhere and should mean nothing… right?

I don’t have feelings for Joon; I can’t and it’s not like I was ready either. I’m still hung up on Hyunseung despite the fact that he lied to me but I can’t help myself, I still love him so much and it’s really hurting me.

I should be hating him and I do it’s just that I feel so conflicted over my emotions and what I’m suppose to be feeling at the moment everything is just a pure mess and it’s driving me crazy.

But that kiss… It blew me away more than I ever thought it would. I could swear that I felt something, some kind of strange flicker that I’ve never felt before, not even when I was with Hyunseung. Just reliving the scene from earlier is making my heart pound against my chest and I could feel my skin heat up just imagining Joon so close to me.

But what made it stung was the fact that he ran away from it, as if it was a mistake… Maybe it was because he thinks that it could never work but from the way he looked at me, I felt as if I was ‘the other woman’, as if our kiss was a mistake because it wasn’t meant for me but for his special someone; and I’m not… It’s just something I have to deal with from now on, I guess…

I’m living a different life now and I should get used to it.

No matter what.

On the next day, Seonya was ready to leave the mansion for her dance practice in town when she heard her name being called as she was ready to step out of the house. Turning around, she saw Joon running towards her, which made the sudden beating of her heart accelerate a little bit.

“What’s up?”

“We need to talk…”

“Can we do it later? I’m going to be late to practice if I don’t go now…”

“Can I drive you?”

“It’s okay, I already have someone.”

“Oh, okay; then I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Mhmm.” With that she softly closes the door behind her, leaving him standing by the entrance as he stared at the door before letting his gaze fall on the floor of the hall. He walked away, lightly trailing his feet on the ground while he passed his fingers through his hair, letting his mind go back to what happened yesterday.

Just rethinking about the sudden kiss, he felt his heart beat at a faster pace as he placed his palm over his chest to feel the beat. It has been so long since the last time he felt something like this and it caught him off guard. He never thought he would have the luxury of feeling this way ever again, thinking that it would betray his last love, but somehow he forgot what warmth felt like; through the years, he never got over the sudden turnaround of his world and now that he got a glimpse back, he wants to keep it; stick by it and as close as he could.

But a part of him was trying to stop him, pushing him to think that what he did was wrong, that what he his feeling for this other girl was wrong. Maybe it was denial, he couldn’t really tell. All he knew was that something was missing; a piece from his broken heart was missing and when he kissed Seonya yesterday it was as if that little whole was heating up, letting him know, deep inside, that he may have found that missing bit to his cold world; something that could warm up even the coldest of his nights.

There wasn’t any guarantee with the way his mind was working, but then again, all that mattered to him was to get revenge, the soul purpose of why he came out of his hiding, the soul purpose to why he was here today and not somewhere else, bent on depression.

He had to stay strong if he was ever going to fulfill the promise he made several years ago.

The day was over with Seonya back at the mansion.

With the big show just around the corner, the practices became more and more hectic and intense making her muscles sore, more than they would usually be like.

Not having the energy of climbing up the stairs, she slumped over the round couch that was in the hall and laid her body down while letting a big sigh escape. As she closed her eyes, she soon found herself slowly falling asleep as the energy of her body was fading away, leaving her completely weak and drained out.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the hallway, Joon was on his way out of the mansion when he came across the sleeping figure, making him stop in his tracks. He leaned over to try and wake her up but all he got were low groans with the body shifting to the other side. He quickly looked at his watch and then back down at Seonya as he breathed out.

With her bag strapped around his shoulder, he carefully lifted her up in his arms and made his way up the stairs, making his steps as quiet as possible. Once he reached her bedroom, he swiftly opened the door and slid inside while walking her to her bed and gently laid her down on the mattress with the bag placed on the ground.

Before leaving, he took a light blanket that was at the edge of the bed and softly tucked her in. He slowly pulled away and couldn’t help himself but stare at her sleeping face, feeling that same sensation inside of him. He didn’t know what was going on but he found himself just merely inches away from her lips where he leaned in closer, placing a short kiss.

What he didn’t expect was a response, turning the supposed quick kiss around with the girl kissing the boy back. She had felt something on her lips and out of reflex just acted with her instinct telling her that she was being kissed.

But even with her eyes still closed, the familiar sensation tingling in the pit of her stomach made her realize what was happening and instead of pushing it away, she pulled it closer to her; she trailed her arms until they were around his neck and gently pulled him for a deeper kiss, something he wasn’t able to refuse and slowly started to feel like he was letting himself go. He found himself climbing up on the bed with his arms by her head as he pushed himself towards her, caging her between the mattress and his body once he had his chest against hers.

They let themselves go with that same spark floating around them as it got more intense by the second, with his one hand trailing down the shape of her body while she had her fingers sliding through his hair with her legs slowly wrapping themselves around him.

Their moment suddenly got interrupted with the buzzing sound of a phone.

Joon quickly pulled away and picked out his phone from his pocket as he checked on the caller ID and cursed at himself for being late. He jumped out of the bed and gave one last apology look to Seonya before running away leaving her completely dumbfounded about the moment.

‘What the f* just happened?! Did he just blow me off?!’

After the day ended and the week went on, she tried to have her time alone with Joon so she could finally talk to him about what happened between them.

But with every single time she tried to approach him, he would find some excuse to run out on her, leaving her be as it was clear that he was avoiding her, which left her more annoyed and irritated at his behavior.

And they haven’t talked to each other until that one night, finally blowing out what she had kept inside of her, or at least part of it.

She had a sudden craving for a midnight snack, making her walk down the kitchen and to her luck, Joon was there sitting on the stool by the counter as he was scooping up a spoon from a new ice cream cup.

He lifted his head to see who was there and had his eyes wide open looking at Seonya walking further towards him. He jumped out of his seat and was about to walk away when she quickly grabbed onto his arm, stopping him as they were standing side by side. She moved to stand in front of him as she let go of her hold and stared at him straight in the eyes, a hint of pain appearing.

“We need to talk.”

And he knew what she meant.

He sighed as he leaned his backside by the counter with his hands in his pocket as she eyed him while standing firmly on the ground with her arms wrapped around her, going on with what she wanted to say. “Look…about what happened the other day-”

“I should be the one to apologize. I’m sorry for hmm… kissing you like that-”

“I’m not sorry about it.” Looking at her, he knew that she was serious. He didn’t know how to respond to this since he was confused about his feelings at the moment but he couldn’t let her know that the kiss was something he actually wanted.

“Maybe you’re not but I am and I think we should just leave it at that. It was just a kiss; it was just a mistake.” He pulled himself away from the counter, ready to walk away only to have her grab, once again, his arm as she pushed him straight back at her, crashing his lips against hers while she cupped his cheeks.

She had taken the lead into their kiss until she felt herself getting wrapped up in his arms as she pushed further against him, making him take over from where she left off. He swiftly lifted her up with her legs embracing his waist as he placed her on the counter. She tighten her hold around him, as she felt him slowly pushing himself back. Still having a hold onto his cheeks, she looked back at him and whispered with her lips hovering above his.

“Don’t fight it…”

The tone of her voice sent shivers down his spine as he pressed his lips further against hers, taking this chance to gently bite the bottom while lightly pulling it, still staring at him. She felt his hold on her hips get stronger as he gulped down before kissing her back, slowly this time before it quickly escalated with him taking the lead.

He took her off the counter as he walked out of the kitchen with her still hung up around him, sloppy kisses keeping them busy. He didn’t know where he was going until a soft cry escaped from her the moment her back was against a wall. He pulled away and looked around before entering the living room and shut the door closed, walking up to the couch where he laid her down and hovered above her, going back from where they left off.