Luhan P.O.V

I always wanted to be a singer. It was my dream ever since I was a kid. I remember getting home from school and running straight to my room. My parents were very busy at work and I knew that they wouldn’t get back for another couple of hours. I used that time to make my dream a reality. Now that I look back to it, I feel slightly embarrassed at the endless hours spent in front of the mirror with a deodorant in hand pretending that I am having a concert. But it was fun. I thought I would grow out of it.

I never really did. As I got older, the dream only got bigger and bigger until it became the only thing I wanted to do. I told my parents that I wanted to sing. They were not so supportive. They had yelled at me for hours, screaming that there was no way I could sing for a living, that I needed a stable job with which I will be able to support my future family. The conversation was ended with a “you can’t even sing that well to be a singer”. Thanks mom, really, that did not hurt at all.

I mean, I understand them, I really do, they want me to be able to live happily with enough money. So I agreed to everything they said, “yes I will forget about singing”, “no mom I really won’t sing”, “yes dad, I will study to become a lawyer, a doctor a whatever you want” and that was that.

I really thought that was the end. My dream was over.

That is, until I saw a flyer on a building today. I was mindlessly roaming the city, not really doing anything but not wanting to go home just yet. When I saw it at first, I just walked passed it. It took a few steps for my brain to register what was actually written on it. When it did register, I ran back. With every word I read, my heartbeat quickened. SMentertainment was holding auditions. I couldn’t believe it. My dream flared back to life and I could see hope that I might become a singer after all. I quickly took the flyer and ran home.

They were held tomorrow.. I already knew the song I would sing so that wouldn’t pose as a problem. But my biggest problem was getting to Korea. I wondered if I had enough money saved away. I was never one to spend money on useless stuff or anything too expensive so most of it was stored in my deer piggy bank and my socks drawer as well. I quickly counted it all and found that I had enough for a flight to Seoul and to go to a hotel for a week, maybe two if I didn’t eat too much. I figured that if I did pass the audition, I could always search for a job. And if I didn’t pass, then I would have enough money to go back home. But I really hoped that wouldn’t happen.

I immediately started working on getting ready. I had packed all of the things that I will need, enough clothes, underwear, my deer plushie, my phone, passport and wallet with all the money. I booked a ticket for the midnight flight, knowing that my parents would have been asleep by then. By eleven, my parents were asleep, my letter for them with apologies and hope that they would understand was left on the kitchen table, and I was on my way to the airport.

It is where I am now. Waiting for my flight. I look at my watch anxiously. Only half an hour left. In a couple of minutes I will board a flight to Seoul and to my dream. But should I be doing this? What if this is a mistake?

I stop those thoughts immediately. This is not a mistake. I have wanted this all my life and I am going to do this. I look around me one last time, not sure when I’ll be able to come back to Beijing, before entering the airplane. After finding my seat, I put my headphones on and decide to doze off for the next two hours.

And the two hours pass quickly and I find myself in a foreign place in a foreign country. “This is not a mistake. This is what you wanted Luhan.” I say to myself before dragging my suitcase towards the exit. As I walk I look around me in awe. Everything is so strange. I overhear a couple of girls next to me saying that I look cute. I bow my head and move quicker towards the exit. I don’t think they knew I know Korean. My parents had sent me to classes for a while and I could hold a pretty decent conversation.

I am finally outside and I have to stop for a moment to breathe in the air. It is so different and yet I feel so comfortable here. I look around and spot a cab a little bit to my right. I walk towards it.

“Hello”, I bow to the driver who was outside waiting for someone to drive.

“Ah hello young man, do you need help with that?” he asks pointing to my luggage.

“Umm yes please, that would be great.” I say bowing again.

“You are welcome, go on inside, I will be there in a moment” he says before taking my luggage away to put it in the trunk.

I sit on the back seat waiting when I realise I forgot to check for hotels near the SMEnt. building. Damn, I knew I’ve forgotten something. The driver enters the car and with a turn of the key we are off towards the bustling streets of Seoul.

“So, where would you like me to take you?”

“I am not really sure. I-I came here for an audition but I forgot to check for hotels.”

“An audition? What are you auditioning for?” he asks in a cheerful voice.

“I want to be a singer.” I answer with a smile.

“Ahhh yes a singer. You do have quite a melodic voice if I may say so myself.”

“Thank you!” I answer quickly blushing, not quite used to people praising my voice.

“You are welcome. But where are you auditioning at?”

“SMEntertainment.”

“Well, I know a nice hotel twenty minutes away by foot, and it is not very expensive. If you’d like, I can drop you off there.”

“That would be great! Thank you so much!” I said excitedly. The man chuckles at my reaction.

“You are very welcome. I am glad to be of help.”

In ten minutes we were in front of the said hotel. The driver took out my suitcase and handed it to me.

“Well, there you go.”

‘Thank you so much again! How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.” the driver answered cheerfully.

“Eh?? Nothing? That can’t be mister, you drove me all the way here.” I say with a frown on my face.

“Okay how about this, you go on that audition and you pass. Then, when we see each other next time, you can pay me and tell me wonderful stories about how it’s like to be a singer.”

“But why? I ask tearing up.

“I have a son who is sixteen now. He wants to be an artist. I wanted him to find a secure job that will pay well when he grows up, but my wishes aren’t what matter. I can see that he wishes to become one no matter what. You remind me of him, so I want to do this.”

I feel a tear fall down my cheek. He has no idea who I am and he might not ever meet me again but he is willing to do this. I hug him tightly..

“Thank you. Thank you so so much. You don’t know how much this means to me right now.”

The man hugs back before pulling away, a gentle smile on his face.

“Good luck on the auditions. I am sure you will do great. Goodbye.” he says finally before getting in the car and driving away.

I stay in the same spot for a while, watching in the direction that the man drove off. I hope we meet again some day, and maybe then I won’t forget to ask for his name. I pick up my suitcase from where it had fallen on the ground before entering the hotel. I approach the reception a little bit of anxiety coming back now that I was all alone again.

“Could I help you?” the nice looking lady asked.

“Yes, I would like a room please.”

After a series of questions, some of which seemed to have no concern with the room, the lady finally says that she will show me to my room.

“Would you like some help with your suitcase?” she asks and I wonder if all the people here are so polite.

“No thank you, it’s not that heavy.” I answer smiling. She takes me to a room on the second floor, before handing me the key.

“Here is your key. I hope you will enjoy your stay here.” She says before leaving back downstairs.

I unlock the door and enter the room. It is a nice room with a single bed and a TV. A door on the left that leads to a small bathroom. And I also have a small balcony.  That’s cool. I put my suitcase at the foot of the bed and take out a pair of pajama pants, some underwear and some cleaning products because I need a shower.

After almost an hour spent in the shower, washing up the tension from my muscles I am all clean and ready to sleep. I take my phone to set an alarm for nine tomorrow and notice that I have no messages or missed calls. Even though I know my parents are still sleeping, I can’t help the little drop my heart makes. I miss them already.

I push those thoughts away. I have to do this so I can show them that I can really be a singer. And I need rest. Four hours of sleep isn’t going to be much but I will have to work with that.

After one last look out the window, I jump into the bed, curling up in a ball and dreaming of my big concert.

My dream was rudely interrupted five minutes later by the stupid alarm. I check my phone and see that it is already nine. I feel like I haven’t slept at all but I know that it is better that i get up now than to miss the audition. I am getting more and more nervous by each passing minute so I decide to practise the song. I know it by heart so I am pretty sure I won’t make any mistakes. By ten, my stomach is growling with hunger so I stop singing and decide that it is time to go out.

When I pass through the lobby, I leave the key to my room to the receptionist lady while I am out. I still have almost an hour and a half before auditions start but I am not exactly sure where the building is. I stop an older man and luckily he knew where it was. In twenty five minutes I was standing in front of SMEntertainment, just like the driver said. I feel excitement run through me. I walk around too a restaurant near by.  

I am getting too nervous and excited so I decide to finally go in even though i still have twenty minutes before this starts. I slowly walked to the reception, looking around me in awe. I felt like a child in a candy shop. I couldn’t believe I was really here.

“Excuse me, do you need something?” the woman sitting behind the desk asked, sounding annoyed. I wanted to frown but I managed to plaster on a smile.

“Yes I am here for the auditions.”

“Take the elevator to the fifth floor.” she says looking away from me.

“Yes thank you.” I tell her but she seems to have stopped listening. I enter the elevator and I press the button for fifth floor. I notice that my palms are getting sweaty but I ignore them.

The door opened and I cautiously stepped out. It seems like no one was here yet. Huh. Well that’s okay. I enter what seemed to be a big dancing hall.

“Oh hello!” A voice startles me and I quickly turn in the direction it came from. It came from a man in a suit who was holding a bunch of papers.

“H-hello,” I bow getting over my shock.

“Are you here for the auditions?”

“Y-yes I am.” Stop stuttering Luhan, you need to make a good impression on this man!

“I am Mr. Jung and I am one of the people who will decide who will become an SM trainee.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Luhan.” I say bowing once more.

“It is nice to meet you too.” he answers smiling before handing me one of the papers he had in his hands. “Please fill this out and wait in the hall. We will start the auditions soon.”

“Okay thank you.” I say going back to the hall. There were a few people there waiting, but not as much as I thought there would be. Maybe it’s still too early and most of them will arrive later. I sit on the floor filling out the form. I am done soon but don’t dare to get up, too nervous after seeing more people enter. I feel like they are all better than me.

“Luhan?” a voice calls and I see Mr. Jung taking the papers from other people.

“You will be the first one, please enter.”

“Okay,” I say as I hurry to get up and give my paper to him before going in.

Mr. Jung comes in as well and sits at the table with two other people, one man and one woman. They introduce themselves but my heart is beating too loud so I didn’t hear their names.

“Why don’t you start Luhan. You will be singing a song, right?” Mr. Jung says whilst looking at my paper in his hand.

“Yes, I’ll sing the song ‘I’ll do well’ by Se7en.”

“Go ahead.”

I start singing and soon I don’t notice them, I don’t notice anything, just focusing on the song. I don’t realise I have closed my eyes till I am done. I open them and see that they are all smiling at me. Is that a good sign?

“That was astounding. You have an amazing voice. We would like you to become a trainee here.” The woman said finally.

“I-What-Seriously??” I asked not sure if I heard it right.

Mr. Jung laughed at my outburst. “Yes seriously. But please stick around for a while, we need to give you a schedule for training after the auditions are over. Is that okay?”

“Yes yes, it is no problem, thank you for giving me this opportunity.”

I said before walking out. I barely noticed that there were even more people outside. I didn’t notice their voices, I didn’t notice as I sat back down to the floor, I didn’t notice the time pass. I sit there till the end of auditions, still amazed and not really believing that this actually happened.

“Luhan?” for the second time this day Mr. Jung’s voice brought me back to reality. He handed me a piece of paper. It was a schedule for training. Even though I had the piece of paper in my hand and I could see it, it was still hard to believe. I was going to fulfill my dream. Wow.

“Trainings will start in three days. Make sure you aren’t late.” He said smiling.

“Thank you again.”

“Goodbye. I will see you in three days.”

“Goodbye.” I say with a big smile on my face. I sit there for another minute or so before finally standing up. I was about to leave when a boy runs out of the elevator and into the dance hall. I follow him curious. Why was he here?

I hear the boy cursing and I decide to approach him. Who knows, maybe I can be of help.

“Are you looking for someone?” I ask startling the boy. He turns around and I notice that he looks really pretty. Maybe he’s an ulzzang? He stared at me for a good minute and I try to resist the temptation shuffle around. His gaze was making me feel uncomfortable.

“I-I am... I came for the audition..” he finally answers. I feel slightly bad that he missed it. I scratch the back of my head before answering.

“Umm... the audition just ended a while ago, sorry.” I say before bowing slightly. I really feel bad. I would have been devastated if I had missed the auditions. I could see it in his face. That he was crushed for missing it. I don’t like seeing people hurt and sad. I have to try and help somehow. I give him a big smile before continuing.

“Hey, but I'm sure Mr Jung is still wandering about in the building, I can help you find him, maybe he'll agree to see your performance now”.

And as I’ve hoped, he seemed to cheer up a little.

“Ah, really?.. t-thank you..” I laugh slightly. This boy seemed nice. I reach for his hand to give him a handshake. His hands is slightly bigger than mine and it was covered in sweat. He must have been really nervous as well.

“I’m Luhan.” I say with a smile. He seems nice. Who knows, if he manages to convince Mr. Jung to let him train, we might become friends. I would like that.

Now let’s just hope he does manage to become a trainee.