The shrivelled blue blob collapsed under Jonghyun's weight with an audible, gross sounding 'squish'. Jonghyun's mouth dropped wide open, endangering the positioning of his masculine, well-defined jaw. He began to whimper.

"..eh..heh..no..NO...Tofu!"

He got up slowly, careful not to squish his beloved girlfriend anymore than he already had. Unfortunately, the damage was irreversible. Tofu was no longer in one piece.

"TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"Tofu...I can't believe you left me like that. How am I supposed to live without you? Your beautiful blue skin that was once white, your seductive scent that now smells that rotten eggs, the fluff that grew on you....-sobs- WAH!" 

Jonghyun started full out crying in front of Tofu's grave. Joori was amazed. This man, the biggest player in school, the human LD50, was actually crying over a piece of tofu? Mind you, he had declared it to be his girlfriend, but still. He had actually paid for a gravestone AND a grave. For a block of squished tofu.

"Jonghyun...I'm sorry for your loss. If there's anything--" Joori tried to pat his shoulder, only to be slapped away, hard.

"Don't touch me!" Jonghyun snapped. "If it wasn't for you, Tofu would still be alive!"

"It's not my fault you wouldn't take off your shirt!"

Jonghyun glared at her, but because his eyes were red and puffy, his glare was more like a didn't-get-enough-sleep-and-rubbed-eyes-too-much sort of 'gaze'. It wasn't enough to scare ninja Joori away. Jonghyun gave up on glaring and went back to bawling his head off.

"WAH~~~~" Jonghyun began looking for something to hold onto, but unfortunately found nothing besides Joori.

Guess who ended up in Joori's arms? Yeah. Jonghyun. All while Joori was trying to think of ways to secretly rip off his shirt.

"Joori~"

"Hm?" Joori had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from saying all the inappropiate things she had in mind. And perhaps try to figure out how to not hyperventilate while holding Jonghyun in her arms. And possibly have her blood pressure checked, since her heart rate was somewhere near 3000/minute. If she had ate all that fried chicken with Onew, she would probably be having a heart attack right now. Lesson learned: do not eat too much fried chicken. Especially when you're going to be within close proximity of Kim Jonghyun.

"You're really warm. And I smell chicken." Jonghyun snuggled in closer with Joori. Joori fainted. Jonghyun got up, stole her wallet, and ran away, cackling evilly the whole time.

-slap- "It's all your fault! If you hadn't come into the picture-"

-punch- "THE HELL KEY. Get away from Onew-"

-kick- "...Key...it is so on...."

Taemin went chasing after Key, limping slightly and bleeding a whole lot from his slap and punch. Onew and Minho watched in amusement as the Key went and flipped over a pipe and monkey climbed up the wall. Taemin, seeing as he is 2 cm (roughly an inch) shorter than Key, couldn't quite do that. He decided that it would be a better idea to find a Nerf gun and shoot Key down instead. He paused for a second, then thought that maybe a staple gun would be a better idea. Thankfully he couldn't find one, otherwise our beloved Key would be screwed over. And quite possibly dead.

"HAH! TAKE THAT. What was that about being almighty? MWAHAHAHAHAHA." Taemin stood looking up at Key, who at the moment was questioning Taemin's mental health status.

"Yeah, you got me. With a nerf dart. I think I'm going to die now."

"DIE. RIGHT NOW."

"If I die, will you catch me? Like if I dive down at you Titanic style?"

"Sure. On the condition that you don't fall in love with me."

"...because I would fall in love you after you try to kill me...."

"That's what happens in shojou mangas!"

"And you would know this why?" Key was scrolling through his mental phonebook, trying to find a mental hospital that admitted 17 year old guys that read shojou mangas. He couldn't find a single one.

"Are you going to dive or not?"

"Here goes."

Key let go of the wall and somersaulted in the air, opening into a graceful dive that made him look even more like a chicken than he already did. Taemin threw his nerf gun (interrupting the couple next door) and jumped up to catch Key bridal style. They twirled in the air and their fingers reached out, craving the other's warmth....

Taemin missed. Key landed on a pile of chicken dung instead. At least it wasn't a fence, right?

"LEE TAEMIN. How dare you drop my boyfriend!"

"It wasn't on purpose, hyung.." Taemin tried to argue for his defense in a small voice. Onew was glowing bright red as he rushed over to Key to pick him up.

"Mmm...eh? Where am I?" Joori sat up and rubbed her eyes, still groggy from her..sleep? She couldn't quite remember why she was lying in a cemetery. Wait. It was coming back to her. Chicken, tofu, mold, spoon..right. Jonghyun's girlfriend died. Somehow she wasn't all that sad. In fact, she was quite glad his girlfriend died.

"Jonghyun~"

But Jonghyun was nowhere to be found. And her wallet was gone too! Her wallet with all the stalker pictures of Jonghyun and Onew. All she found was a note, scrawled in messy handwriting.

"You kill my girlfriend, I steal your identity. With love, Jonghyun. -kekeke-"

"WTF."

My overly random story that is overly random....does anyone want this to go JongKey? Or 2Min..wait nvm, that one doesn't work. So maybe JongKey with Joori/Onew?