"Whoa, ex-boyfriend? Didn't you say that you wanted me to get Onew back for y-" Joori's hand suddenly clamped hard over Jonghyun's mouth.

"No, I just told you to cook me a tofu meal."

"But you said-"

"You actually took me seriously?" Joori batted her eyelashes at Jonghyun, making everyone in the room gag slightly. "Obviously that was only an excuse to make you come over to my house. And I was hoping that we would get some alone time, you know, get to know each other better? Or we could have perhaps, um, actually, Taemin's in the room right now, so I'm not going to continue..."

Everyone turned to look at Taemin, who had cleared the entire table, even though it was a 5 course meal meant for 2. "Hm? What? What's wrong with me being in the room?"

"Nothing; it just means that our conversations can't become rated. We don't want to corrupt your innocence."

"Ah. I'll leave then. But can I take this with me? It's really good." Without waiting for anyone's permission, Taemin quickly dumped everything into a tupperware container and dragged his grandma out the door; all while she was yelling "No! I'm over 18! I can stay for rated scenes! I want to stay for rated scenes!".

"Anyway, Jonghyun's my new boyfriend. And you're not welcome here anymore. So get out." Tears welled up in Joori's eyes, but she tried the best she could to hold them back. Not like anyone could see that her eyes were wet anyway. Onew smirked, not buying her excuse for a second.

"So I'm not welcome here anymore? Well then, let's go Key. It seems we have to go somewhere else to continue what we were just doing..." Onew's naturally seductive voice gave Key and Jonghyun instant boners. And on top of that, Jonghyun was straight! (No worries, Taemin's out of the room already xp) Joori was sorely tempted to ask what they had been doing, but unwilling to seem weak, she gave a hmph and pulled Jonghyun to her side.

"Well...we were doing some...things...too..and you came and interrupted us! Now go away."

"Oh, but wasn't Taemin here? What was that about not corrupting him?"

"You ert. I never said it was anything dirty. We were training to become A.S.S.es. "

"Asses?"

"Agents of Secret Stuff. I just got back from Ryan Higa's seminar yesterday. 'We are asses. We don't complain when things get to hard; we push on through and grab it.' He's such a great speaker."

"Right. Whatever you say, Joori. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Will you? Pleas- *ahem* er, yeah. No. Wait. What? Why am I seeing you tomorrow? Are you asking me out?"

"Huh. You think too highly of yourself. I'm coming to your house for chicken--oh wait, I'm not! Key's fried chicken is 10x better than yours!" Onew laughed coldly and sauntered out the door, Key clinging close by his side.

"Er...Joori...are we actually training to be agents? Of Secret Stuff? That's so cool! I was wondering why your eyes were so small--it's for hiding your true emotions! Then you could be like the epic spy master that goes around stealing passwords and breaking into encrypted files, all the while fooling everyone because no one can see your eyes so they can't ever know where you're looking! Or what you're thinking!"

Joori looked at him, O_o. Wow, tofu man was stupid, wasn't he? God was fair sometimes; either you have the looks or you have the brains. Obviously Jonghyun had gotten the looks and not the brains. Seeing that he was now practicing squinting to make his eyes smaller, he had taken her seriously. Joori shook her head, internally thanking every almighty being she knew for letting Jonghyun get away with his looks. His looks...Onew's face popped back into her mind, tearing open the tupperware container of memories she had just put into her mental freezer. A block of Onew ice dropped with a loud bang onto a frozen bag of Jonghyun's smile. Hm. There was some competition..maybe breaking up with Onew wasn't such a bad idea... Jonghyun...

"Hey, um, Joori? I have a girlfriend, you know. She'd kill you if she heard you declaring that you were my girlfriend."

Joori gawked at him, shocked. He, of all people, had a girlfriend? It wasn't that hard to see how he had gotten one (seeing how deliciously hot he was), but he didn't seem like the type to settle with only one girl. She arched her eyebrow.

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Why won't you believe me?"

" 'Cause your an idiot who actually believed me when I said that we were training to become A.S.S.es."

Jonghyun's puppy dog eyes teared up. "You were lying? Why would you lie to me?"

O_o

"And you kissed me too! You babo! I wasn't ready for that!"

O_O "Really? The human LD50 is whining about being kissed? Weren't you the biggest player in school?"

"Yeah but--but--still!" Jonghyun blushed.

"I'm not sure what's going on here, but you're sounding more and more like a girl, and your personality seems to have drastically changed since chapter 1...do you have multiple personality disorder?"

"No." Jonghyun suddenly seemed to be in pain. "I'm Onew; Joori, can't you see?"

A stab of pain went through Joori's heart at the mention of Onew. What the hell was wrong with him? He knew that Onew had just broke her heart (he should have known, at least; but then again, she wouldn't have put it past him to not notice that she was almost crying when Onew left with Key), but now he was playing some mean joke by pretending to be Onew? Jonghyun suddenly cupped her face and looked her straight in the eyes, not letting her escape from his wrath his gaze.

"The greatest distance on earth isn't from the north pole to the south pole; it's the distance between you and me, Joori. Why can't you just look at me?"

"I am looking at you." Joori could barely breathe, her heart was pounding so fast.

"Oh really? Sorry. Wasn't sure where you were looking. Actually, I thought your eyes were closed. But anyway-"

'"KIM JONG HYUN DO YOU HAVE FRICKIN' MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Joori had to stuff her fist in to prevent it from flying at Jonghyun.

Jonghyun shrugged. "Nothing. I was just trying to get back at you for saying that you were my girlfriend."

Joori was taken aback. She had known that there was something wrong with the sudden romantic air, but she was hoping maybe, just maybe, Jonghyun was being serious. Yeah, he had no brains, but he was still hot. And Onew...

"But I was being serious about having a girlfriend. And I actually really like her, so I'd appreciate it so you stopped calling me your boyfriend."

"Right."

"No, I'm actually serious this time. Here, I'll show you a picture." Jonghyun reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

Oooh, who's Jonghyun's gf? Teehee, I actually have no idea at the moment, so I'll be happy to take any requests. And no, Jonghyun doesn't have multiple personality disorder, but he does have brains. He just...doesn't always use them. But they're there. And Onew's being a big meanie! Key, Minho, and Taemin will get  more lines next time, I promise. I can't believe I've been ignoring Almighty Key for so long. KYAH! Need to bring him back.

Joori is awesome BTW. She always makes my day, especially when she starts dancing to "I need a girl" by Taeyang. Actually her version was "I need a boy" with KiKwang from BEAST, and as much as I love Taeyang, I have to say, Joori's version might just have been better than his. XD

Wongfu and Nigahiga awesomeness!!xp