"How are you going to help me?" Joori sniffled, shoving her face into Jonghyun's shoulder.

Jonghyun stiffened some more, trying his hardest not to distort the traditional shoujo scene where the heroine buries her head into the main guy's shoulder. Do NOT replace the heroine with a dinosaur, do NOT replace the heroine with a dinosaur, do NOT replace the guy with yourself, do NOT see a dinosaur...

He tried?

"Jonghyun! Say something!" Joori looked up, her mascara and eyeliner running all over her face. Damn it was frightening scene. It was like...the Grudge came to life...or something. And she just had to be that pale huh.

"Er..." Jonghyun pinched the back of his thigh, in an attempt to keep himself in the present and not think about the Grudge. She is HUMAN, she is HUMAN, she is HUMAN, she is NOT the Grudge, she is NOT the Grudge....

"How do you want me to to help you? It's not like I'm Cupid; I don't have love arrows that I can just shoot at people. If someone likes you, they like you. If they don't like you, then..they don't like you..." Jonghyun shuddered internally at the somewhat-philosophical-but-in-reality-extremely-shoujo spiel of his.

Joori let go of him and wiped her hands across her eyes, dragging black streaks all over the place. Human pandas FTW yo. Bamboo shoots, and leaves, and...Jonghyun pinched himself again.

"Jonghyun...was that...a confession?"

Jonghyun turned to stone instantly, blowing away in the sudden wind. A row of crows flew in the background, and a line of  ....... appeared on the screen.

"Jonghyun, I know you like me, but I can only think of Onew. His eyes, his smile, the way he eats his chicken..."

The .... and crows disappeared, replaced with =.="

"Joori, I assure you, that was not a confession. You're a...@#(*&$(@# girl, but you're not my type."

"@(#*$(!@*#(# ?" What?"

Jonghyun squirmed slightly, trying to think of some kind of flattery. The @(#$@#($ was just an odd mumble that Joori was supposed to take as a compliment, seeing as Jonghyun couldn't actually think of an adjective with a positive connotation to describe Joori.

" @!#($*@#& is... !@#&@!(*#. Yeah. It means..well it mean...you're...cool. Yeah. You're cool."

"Jonghyun, it's ok if you like me. I know that I have a lot of charm, and that a lot of people fall for me at first glance, but..I, I only like Onew. I'm sorry." Joori was being completely serious.

Jonghyun gagged internally. WTF was she smoking? She had charm? Yeah, if you consider death threats charming. People fell for her on first glance? Literally, maybe, but certainly not figuratively.

"Ah..ha..ha..ha...erm. Yeah. Right. It's fine. Yeah. You don't need to accept my "confession". No worries. I'm not hurt." Jonghyun had to try very hard not to chuck himself at the wall.

"I'm sorry.." She was legit apologetic.

"No worries." He didn't want her to be apologetic. Or rather, he couldn't afford for her to be apologetic. If one day she discovered that he was thinking about the Grudge and various dinos while looking at her...dear God. It was not a pretty picture.

"I don't know what to do Jonghyun; it's like my heart is breaking into a million pieces or something. It hurts. I can't stop thinking about him, but the more I think about him, the more I ache." Joori sighed and sat down on a chair.

Jonghyun frowned. " You ache? It's that bad?" He had trouble believing that some..one, yes, someone, not something, like Joori could actually experience pain.

"Literally. Yeah, I do ache. Every time I think about him I think of the cuts I got from making him fried chicken."

"Cuts?"

"Onew only likes fresh chicken, so I have to buy them live at the market and kill them myself. Chickens have vicious claws you know; being scratched by them is not fun at all. " Joori winced and looked down at her hands, then looked back up at Jonghyun, who was still frowning. She gave him a small smile, misinterpreting his frown as concern. "It's ok though, they'll all healed."

"Yeah...that's why they're scars...fresh cuts don't look like that..." Jonghyun had no idea why Joori was suddenly being all shoujo-heroine-who-is-determined-not-to-have-people-worry-about-them. See, the only reason why he was frowning was because the "chair" she was sitting on was a block of tofu...well, it used to be tofu. It used to be a block of nice, soft, egg tofu, but now..after the however many days that he'd been gone, it was now sturdy enough to support Joori's weight....and it was blue. Hah. Natural paint ftw?

Joori glanced at him with slight confusion. Jonghyun stared back at her, oblivious to the fact that she had mistaken his frown for concern.

"Anyway, how are you planning to get him back for me? I don't see how that's going to happen, not with Key in the way. You know what frustrates me, Jonghyun? The fact that I dated Onew for so long, made so much fried chicken for him, but in the end, he ditches me for a random chicken man. And then as if that's still not enough, he gets Key to help him find a way to get rid of me. " She chuckled but it was cold, and for the first time, actually seemed like a human.

Jonghyun sighed and looked at the ceiling. Wtf was going on; he was starting to feel bad for Joori now. She didn't seem all that inhuman anymore..

"Key, do we really have to do this? I don't support animal abuse."

"I don't either, but I'm a psychopath, so I do it without supporting it." Key's eyes flashed.

".....is that why you decided to run a chicken farm, so that you could kill chickens all day...."

"OF COURSE NOT~~~hehehehe honey did I tell you that you look particularly y today? Oh dayum why so y today? OH~~~" He raised his eyebrows at Onew in a very creepy manner.

Onew stared at him and his raised eyebrows, then sighed. God this kid was weird. Why on earth did he listen to him again?

"OK, almost there. 3, 2, 1...GOT IT!"

'Oh?"

"IT'S ALIVE~~~~~~~~~~~~~" Onew could have sworn he saw Dracula coming out of Key's eyes.

"It was never dead in the first place...you just wanted to paint it bright red...." Onew sighed at the poor chicken that now had a bright red ring of paint around its neck. "Are you sure this is going to help me get Joori back?"

"What? No. Do I care about getting Joori back for you? No. I just find this to be particularly amusing, that's all. "

"..." Why did he choose to listen to him again...? =.="

By now, everyone is probably a bit confused. Wasn't Onew annoyed with Joori and wanted to get rid of her? Isn't that why he went to go find Key, and why Joori went to go find Jonghyun out of revenge? Minho and Taemin were just 2 random people weren't they, or do they have a more important role to play?

You'll have to read the next chapter and see ;P

I'm finishing this up before school starts, no worries ~