You run backstage, panting and breathless. You can't believe he--!

You look down at your chest, your s no longer concealed with bandages underneath your shirt. You gulp down hard. Now everyone knows...

You slam your back against the corridor wall, tears beginning to stream down your face.

It's all over now.

Your career is over. 

There's no way on earth SM will keep you now. Everyone knows that you are a girl. 

That's it! There's nothing left for you!

You bite your lower lip in anger, trying to hold back the tears that have not fallen yet as you wipe away the ones that have with the back of your hand. 

You lean your head back against the wall.

What was he thinking?!

You hear footsteps down the hall and you see Heechul walking towards you. Angered, you push yourself off the wall and slam your fist into his chest, shoving him against the wall. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you cry out in pain. You punch him in the chest with your fist. 

How could he do this to you?

You feel the tears come crashing down your cheeks. And to think that you actually had begun to care about him! The jerk!

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

He grabs your wrists and shoves you away, pushing you to the opposite wall.

"HOW COULD I NOT, JAEHWA?!" he cries, pinning your shoulders back. He looks at you hard. "Do you think I like knowing that you are in physical pain everytime you--?!?!" He glances down at your chest for a brief moment, before gritting his teeth. "It needed to end Jaehwa! For better or worse, it needed to be done!"

"And who are you to dictate my life?!" you cry, pushing him away.

He pushes you back. "Do you think I like knowing that the woman I love is--!!!" his voice falters as he realizes what he just said. He pulls away, turning his back to you as he grits in teeth.

You blink, watching him as faces the opposite wall. He slams a fist into it as his shoulders rise and fall, his breath staggered and heavy.

He loves you?

This almost takes you completely by surprise. With all his teasing and jokes, you just figured that he just views you as a friend. True, you have seen the kind-hearted and caring man he can be, but he acts that way with others too, when he is close to them. How would you know that he actually likes you back?

Is that why he exposed you? Because he cares about you? And doesn't want you to hurt yourself any more? 

It seems almost incredible, but at the same time you feel the hurt of having been exposed subsiding while another feeling rises within you. 

You feel a smile begin to form on your face and you cross over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He looks at you with dulled eyes, as if he does not know what to say. You shake your head, your smile growing into a smirk. "I thought I already told you that I don't take kindly to guys who try to pin me against the wall."

He looks at you dumbfounded for a moment. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

He blinks, his eyes lighting up as a smirk begins to form on his face. "So, you're not mad at me, huh?"

You scoff, clicking your tongue. "I never said that. I knew it was going to happen evenutally, but I didn't think it would happen so soon and by the biggest pabo I've ever met." You attempt to smirk, but only succeed in a toothy smile, shoving him in the shoulder.

Heechul continues to smirk, drawing closer to you. "Oh, 진짜 [jinjja]?"

"You may want to back off. I'm still mad at you, and you know that I can hurt you." You try to say this seriously, but it ends up being in a very teasing tone.

"I think I'll take my chances," he retorts, raising his eyebrows slightly as his arms snake their way around you, pulling you into his chest. His lips crash into yours, seeking your acceptence. You respond to his lips with your own, while bringing your arms up around his neck.

After several moments, you both pull away, a smirk on each of your faces.

"Not bad for your first kiss," says Heechul with a shrug. "I expected worse from a girl who dresses like a guy."

You laugh, slugging him hard in the chest. "Yah! That's not fair, 형 [hyung]!"

"Yah! There's no way in heck you are going to call me 형 [hyung] any more!"

You scoff. "Oh, we'll see about that."

"네 [Ne]. We will." Heechul gives you another smirk, pulling you into him again, so that he can claim your lips once again. 

After a few moments, Heechul pulls away, "미안합니다 [Mianhamnida]," he says softly. "I didn't want to do that to you, but I felt that there was no other choice."

You look into his dark orbs which are filled with a mixture of regret and earnestness. "Don't worry about it," you say. "I know things will work out in time." 

****

Later that night, he tells you that he did not think you could even care for him, until that one day when Taemin brought over the lie detector. He confesses that after you had went to bed and were talking with Amber on the phone that night, he snuck outside your door to eavesdrop on the conversation.

He then tells you how he confessed later to Suho over text that he thought you were more than just pretty the day of the bet and even let it slip out that he has feelings for you.  

****

The news about your true identity circulates quickly, and you are put on hiatus as Super Junior continues their World Tour. SM doesn't know what to do with you. The fact that a girl is cross dressing in an all boy band is a scandal in itself. However, add the fact that she's been living in an all men's dorm... Well, that's an even bigger scandal on their hands.

Your father tries to explain things, but little can be done. You are put on hiatus until further notice. 

However, this does not prevent you from going to every Super Show on the tour, sneaking in as either a crew member or a member of the audience, your father, supporting you in this every time.

He is not the only one who supports you though. Your fans, your ever loyal Heart Breakers and Heart Throbs, rally to your aid as well, sending you encouraging comments and letters of support. 

****

You sit in the family zone section, as Heechul begins his solo. You watch as he sits on the loveseat on stage, holding the mic to the side, in his own unique fashion. He sits in the middle of the sofa, singing softly to the audience. Usually, there's another girl on the loveseat with him; however, there isn't one there tonight. Maybe she got sick or something.

"I’ve hesitated a lot
I’ve kept my sight on you though I can’t lov
Since I keep thinking of you day by day
I can do nothing..
That night, if the song deep in your heart has been heard
All regrettable memories and frustrating thoughts will be melted down..."

["Loving You a Thousand Times" from OST "First Star" (Eng translation)]

He looks down for a moment, adjusting the mic in his hand. He gets up from the couch, flipping the hair out of his eyes.

As he sings, you reflect on the past few months since he had Heechul expose you. Despite the busy schedules he has had with the rest of the members, he has made sure of your well-being. The day after he exposed you, he took you to the doctor to make sure that everything was alright with you after binding yourself so much. Needless to say, the pain and bruises you had been experiencing, came from your bruised ribs, which needed rest.Without schedules to contend with, you were able to heal, making sure to wear only the most comfortable of bras you owned. 

You smile, thinking about how every day, even when he was strained because of schedules, he would come to the eleventh floor to make sure that you were doing alright.

"...(that’s the way i am)
I love you even more still, It’s not enough
Trust me..."

He starts walking across the stage, taking his time as he saunters down the middle aisle, his eyes roving over the audience. 

"...You’re my precious girl (my baby)
Without you, I’ve no idea how to go on
Deep down in both eyes, it comes from my heart
May you cherish this in mind
Eternity, I swear to you..."

He continues, walking in front of the family zone. He looks up into the stands and his eyes connect with yours. A smirk forms on his lips briefly as your mouth gapes slightly in surprise.

Is he singing to you?

He maintains eye contact with you as he mounts the stairs, one-by-one, slowly, singing each word to you.

"...(that’s the way i am)
I love you even more still, It’s not enough
Trust me You’re my precious girl (my baby)
Without you, I’ve no idea how to go on
Deep down in both eyes, it comes from my heart
May you cherish this in mind
Eternity, I swear to you..."

He reaches your seat and holds his hand out. You shake your head in objection. There's no way you are going up on stage and being serenaded by your 형 [hyung], no matter how much you have fallen for him . He an eyebrow up at you, scoffing a little.

"Can you pause the music for a moment?" he says into the mic.  The music comes to a stop. He leans over, whispering in your ear. "Get up now or I'll embarrass you more."

"I will not be serenaded," you mutter.

"Fine. Have it your way." He shoves the microphone in your hand and hoists you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style.

You let out one of your mouse-like shrieks, sending a smirk from Heechul. "Yah! What are you--?!" You struggle to get out of his grasp. 

"Hold the microphone so I can continue," he says. "Or else I'll never put you down."

"Aish..." you mutter, holding the mircrophone in front of him. "You are so paying for this later."

"I'll take my chances," he says with a smirk. He looks to the sofa on stage. "I don't know if I can reach it, carrying you. If I drop you, don't kill me. There are too many witnesses here." You shake your head as he opens his mouth to speak again. "Continue the music," he commands into the mic. The music continues as he carries you down the middle aisle back to the main stage where the sofa still is situated.

"...Whether the world keeps turning we’ll be constant
We’ll be this way forever as we remember today..."

He places you on the loveseat, taking the microphone from your hand as he leans over you. You feel your face begin to heat up as he hovers over you, his knees on either side of you, almost touching your hips as you sit there, your back against the arm of the loveseat. His left hand is placed on the sofa to the right of your shoulder, while his right hand holds the microphone.

"...I just love you so much….
Without you, I’ve no idea what is going on
Deep down in both eyes, it comes from my heart
May you cherish this in mind
Only you that I love forever..."

He dips his head down closer to yours, as he turns off the microphone and tosses it to his left where it lands somewhere to the right of you, lodging itself in the crack between the cushions. He cups his hands behind your neck, sending a tingle down your spine, as he guides your head slightly foreward as he draws closer. Just before his lips meet yours, he whispers the last line of the song.

"...Only you that I love forever."

His lips fall on top of yours as the lights go out and the runners lift the loveseat off the stage with you both still on it, as he continues to caress your lips with his.

****

Heechul's little stunt at the concert ends up convincing SM to allow you to be a part of Super Junior again; in part due to the influx of support from your Heart Breakers and Heart Throbs, and partly due to the fact they wish to avoid more scandal. 

****

Two years