"Not until I teach you a lesson!" you call, pretending to run after Kangin. He runs and bolts down the hallway, probably to hide in his room. You shake your head. Why would you chase after him? "You win," you call out to him so that he can hear you.

"But you didn't even try to catch me! I guess my 동생 [dongsaeng] lost her sense of competition!" Kangin calls through the door, his voice slightly muffled. "I thought you were going to teach me a lesson!"

"Why would I do that?" You chuckle and head to the kitchen to get something to drink. You grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water. You hear footsteps from behind you. 

"Yah! You didn't even try!"

"Was I supposed to?" You reply in between sips, turning to face him, eyebrow raised.

"But--" Kangin stops, staring at you. "Aren't you going to teach me a lesson?"

"아니 [Ani]."

"왜 안돼요 [waeandwaeyo (Why not)]?" He his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"I already hit you didn't I?"

He nods in confirmation.

"Then that's all I needed to do."

He stares a moment at you, his lips slowing forming a smirk. "You gave up already didn't you? You knew I would win."

"I wasn't really going to try to beat you."

The smirk disappears and he opens his mouth in objection. "Yah! What's gotten into you? You used to always try to beat me up!"

You shrug. "So?"

"So?!" He clicks his tongue. "What happened to my old Jaehwa-ah?" 

This strikes you the wrong way. You bite the inside of your lower lip in irritation.

Why does he-- heck! why do they all-- keep saying you've changed?! 

Honestly! You're 26 years old! You're an adult! It's like they've all forgotten that when you left you were only eighteen. People are supposed to grow up, right? 

You can't be the same person that you were eight years ago...

You don't have the same circumstances anymore.

You don't have the same life anymore.

You can no longer even have the dreams that you once had...

It's gone.

Done for...

You have to move on.

You already put your life on hold for so long...

You can't rehash old dreams and memories!

That part of your life is over!

"Yah! What did you think would happen?" You ask, looking at him hard. "Eight years have gone by. I was eighteen when I left. Do you know how old I am now?!" your voice gets higher, as anger rises within you, thinking about how nothing is as it was before you left Korea. Your grip tightens on the glass as you wrap both of your hands around it.

You can't change the past. You can't try to salvage old dreams that once had life. It's over. Those hopes and dreams need to die within your heart, because they died from your soul a long time ago. 

"I'M 26 YEARS OLD!" you practically shout, your voice much louder than intended. You hear the sound of shattering glass. You look down, your eyes widening as you realize what you just did. You open your hands and see a few remaining pieces of glass, clutched in your grasp. You look down at the floor and see glass littered all over the floor. 

You look back up at Kangin, his shocked eyes meeting yours. You feel like an idiot. You've let anger over the past get the better of you. Remorse and guilt hit you like a bulldozer full of bricks. "미안합니다 [Mianhamnida (I'm sorry)!" you say, your voice a bit unsteady with shock.

You drop down to the floor and grab the dust pan and hand broom from under the sink and begin to clean up the mess. How could you be this stupid? You can feel Kangin's gaze on you as you gather up the pieces. He's probably both shocked and angered with you... and disappointed with you as well. "미안합니다 [Mianhamnida (I'm sorry)..." you say again, as you begin to gather up the pieces. Why can't you seem to pick up the pieces in your own life and get over the fact that things will be different from how you had once dreamed?

A tear forms in your left eye. You blink your eyes hastily. You are not a crier. You haven't cried in years. There's no way your going to start now. Your right eye gets watery. You blink your eye. What is wrong with you?!

You feel Kangin crouch to the floor in front of you. You bow your head low so he doesn't see the tears that threaten to fall no matter how many times you try to blink them away. You try to focus on getting all the little pieces swept into the dust pan. You whisper again in apology. "미안합니다 [Mianhamnida (I'm sorry)." You wrists are caught in his hands, preventing you from continuing your work. 

"Let go," he instructs. You obey, letting go of the dust pan and hand broom. He turns your hands over, surveying the blood on your hands. You had not even noticed that the glass had cut into your skin... 

"미안합니다 [Mianhamnida (I'm sorry}], I'll wash off the broom and dust pan," you say quietly, still keeping your head bowed, so that he can't see your tears.

You hear him scoff softly. "Do you think I'm worried about that?" He begins to stand, letting go of your hands. "Don't move," he says. You comply, trying to blink away the tears.

He grabs a rag and puts warm water and soap on it. He turns off the faucet and crouches down next to you. He grabs you right hand and starts cleaning the blood off gently. After a couple of moments, he moves on to the left hand.

Keeping your head bent, you quietly thank him. "감사합니다."

"Don't mention it," he says, getting up and grabbing the first aid kit from the cupboard. He crouches down again and sprays some antiseptic on the few cuts on both hands. He looks at you with sympathetic eyes, wondering what was behind the outburst. He grabs a couple band-aids and begins putting them on you. He glances back at you, noticing the tear that just fell down your cheek.

"Jaehwa-ah?" Kangin asks quietly.

"네 [Ne]?"

"What's wrong?"

You try to form a smile, failing miserably. "Nothing."

You feel his hand under your chin. He tilts your chin up a little, turning your head to face him. "Tell me."

****

2005.05.24 (May 24, 2005)

"RUN!!!!" you shout as both you and Youngwoon fly down the empty hall. You bolt out the nearest exit and onto the street, Youngwoon following closely at your heels. You both bolt for the nearest place to hide. You duck into a little alley and lean against the brick wall, hiding behind some trash cans. 

Gasping for breath, you both peek around the trash cans to make sure that he's not following you. He appears a moment later. You crouch down again before he can see you. 

You and Youngwoon glance at each other and almost burst out laughing. Out of all the people, why did it have to be him?

Heechul pulls out his phone and begins to punch in some numbers in his phone angrily. Realizing that you could be caught, you elbow Youngwoon in the side. "Turn off you cell," you whisper, as you begin to feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Thankfully, the sound isn't on.

Heechul stands there by the alley, angrily waiting for you to answer the call. When you don't pick up, he begins shouting at your voicemail. "JANG JAEHWA!!! You good-for-nothing...! I'm going to kill you for what you did! You hear? I know it was you! PICK UP YOUR PHONE! DARN IT!!!" He hangs up and walks back the way he came. 

Youngwoon and you look at each and burst out laughing. 

"You are in so much trouble," he says.

"Yah! It was your idea, remember?" you say, punching his arm. "You're the one who wanted to prank Hyukjae!"

Youngwoon shoves you back. "How was I supposed to know that Heechul was the one who was going to walk in the door first?"

You both burst into laughter again as the image of Heechul standing there with his hair all wet, yelling about how his hair was all messed up and grabbing the empty water bucket and throwing it on the floor.

"You should probably head back," you say, chuckling. "You don't want him to know that it was your idea. It's better for him to think that it was all me, considering you have to work with him and I don't."

"True," he agrees, getting up.

"Yah! You're just going to make me take all the blame without even a 'Kamsa'?!" You get up to your feet and slug him in the shoulder.

"네 [Ne]." He grins and leaves the alley.

"Jerk!" you call out afterward.

"Stupid!" he calls back.

"Raccoon face!"

He turns around for a moment. "Yah! I'm not a raccoon! I'm a bear!"

"Racccon!"

"Let's see if you still think I'm a raccoon at the charity ball tomorrow!" he says. 

"It's not a costume party!" you reply.

"I know!"

"How were you even invited?" You jog over to him, so you don't have to call out so loud.

"Lee SooMan wanted a few of us there so others will get familiar with our faces before we debut. O.V.E.R. is going to be a real hit! You better watch out, because we're going to blow your group out of the water when we all debut!" 

"In your dreams! T.H.E.E.N.D. is going to top the charts! Your group may do well, but T.H.E.E.N.D. will be the end of your #1 spot on the music charts!" You give him a smirk.

He grins cheeky. "Are you sure about that? You will all bow and 'Obey the Voice for Each Rhythm'!" 

You chuck