A month have passed, I am still staying at home unable to go anyway due to my confinement period which Gary oppa insisted I follow strictly. According to him, miscarriage is the same as giving birth so the confinement period is a must! Jihyo unnie is just like a mother to me, she keep coming over when she is free to look after me. I felt so grateful to her even though she is inexperience and yet she help out a lot.

Taecyeon came over too, once in a while whenever he is free of his schedule. About the scandalous issue about us, everything was settling after he himself told the media that I am merely just a family friend. Reila who were still in Japan constantly calls me up and asked if I am ok. She felt bad enough for not coming and be by my side when I need someone the most.

Apart from all these people, only Daesung and Jiyong still do not know what exactly happen. I do not want to make them worry about me, especially my Jiyong. I intend to tell them when they are back and everything is fine. Anyway to contact them right now is a little hard due to their schedule. I totally missed him so much that I have been crying every night thinking of the loss of our precious baby and the worst part was he was not even there with me. The most part that I am afraid of was to tell him and what if he cannot take it and blame it on me for not being responsible. I know he loves kids and babies and what more now he loses his own.

I was about to sleep when Jiyong texted me.

‘I’m coming home... see you soon.. Missed you!’

Tears flow as I read that message and only god knows how badly I need him right this very moment.

The morning sunlight pierce through my room, the glare makes me uncomfortable. Who the hell have pulled the curtain open because I knew I always closed it before I went to bed. I open my eyes gently and saw a blurry figure right in front of me.

“Good Morning Baby~~~” The voice it belongs to Jiyong.

I opened my eyes wide and try to focus on his face. It was him! Without knowing, I grab and pulled him close to me. I hide on his chest and sob.

“Love.. what’s the matter? Hey hey... I’m right here... why are you crying?” – Jiyong hugs me tight while patting my back consoling me.

“I missed you so much! And Ji... forgive me... please....” – I was still sobbing hard when Gary oppa enter the room.

“If you both are ready... come out.. we need to talk...” – Gary oppa

I get up as fast as I could and wash up a little while Jiyong waits for me. He was lying on the bed and his face seems to be lost in thoughts. He saw me walked out of the bathroom and he quickly get up.

“Love... is something wrong? Or did I do something wrong?” – Jiyong was asking me.

I turn and look at him and shake my head.

“It’s my fault... It’s my fault... I’m sorry...” – Me

“Love, if you don’t say what is wrong.. it’s hard for me to know what’s going on...please don’t be like this....” – Jiyong

“I lost... I.. I lost our baby... “ I cried hard once more. I just could not take it anymore. I am afraid to tell him but no matter what I have too.

“What?!!!” – Jiyong was shocked, he could not move until Gary oppa came in again after hearing I cried.

“Let’s talk outside...” – Gary oppa pulled Jiyong out of the room while I stayed in accompanied by Jihyo unnie.

Jiyong POV

I was lying down on her bed, waiting for her to finish washing up. The way Gary hyung spoke just now seems like something was not right but what is it? And why did my love cried and saying sorry to me when she woke up? I was utterly confused. I saw her get out from the bathroom; I get up from my bed and went over to her.

“Love... is something wrong? Or did I do something wrong?” – I asked her directly and the last sentence she told me makes me froze on the spot. Our baby? She lost our baby? She was pregnant with my baby? But when? How? Gary hyung came in the room and pulled me out, leaving her sobbing in the room with Jihyo noona.

I took a seat at the sofa. I saw Daesungie face and his face were solemn. He looks worried. I could not take it anymore so I asked Gary hyung.

“Hyung... what’s wrong? Please tell me so that I can understand.. she said she was pregnant with my baby....” – Jiyong

“Fine... Jiyong ah~~ you know she is my dongseng and she is very precious to me.. I do not know whether should I get angry at both of you or should I just ignore cause you both are big enough... “ – Gary hyung explained and it seems that I really did something wrong.

“She was pregnant with your child and she lost the baby due to her stress and depression... she doesn’t even know in the first place that she was pregnant... “ – Gary hyung

“Mian hyung.. mian... it’s my fault... it’s all my fault....” – Me

“You both are to be blame for being reckless... how could you both not knows about how to be protective? You should know what I mean.. You are a man! You know I really against the idea of getting pregnant before marriage... how many times do I have to emphasize that to you both... I gave her way too much freedom and now look I was betrayed! -  Gary hyung

The fact that it was the first I ever saw Gary hyung in a very temperamental mood makes me aware how irresponsible I have been. I went speechless as I intake those harsh and stern sentence from him. I do not even dare to look at him in the eye. Yes, you can just call me a coward for that. I took a deep breath and slowly try to talk to him.

“Hyung, I myself do not know that she was pregnant.. if I knew things should be different...” Me

“Different?.. how different?” – Gary hyung interrupted me.

“Until now you hesitate to announce about your relationship with my little sister.. so how different will it be?.. Jiyong ahh~~ isn’t time?” Gary hyung asked me.

“Hyung, it’s not that I am not serious or fooling around about this matter... but I have my reason and that’s why I delayed it.. “ – Me

“Then what about Kiko? I heard you have issues with her.. you seems too close with her?” – Gary hyung

“Kiko? It’s hard to explain hyung... and the fact that I’ve been keeping quiet is because I don’t want to burden anyone especially her.. I love your dongseng hyung....” – Me

“Love?! Then prove it Jiyong ahh~~ you know what I mean by that...” Gary hyung

I sigh deeply and my heart felt so heavy. All of these happen because of me. I burden her way too much, she felt the pressure and that causes her to lose our baby. Omg! Our baby! I blame myself for losing our precious baby.

“Jiyong ahh~~ I beg you.. until you cleared everything about all this and that Kiko... I think the best is for you to stay away from my little sister. I beg you Jiyong ahh~~ she suffered enough and it hurts me so much to see her like that...” Gary hyung

“Hyung ahh~~ please don’t be like this... hyung~~ - I just cannot believe what I am hearing. I cannot be separated with my love. I need her as much as she needs me.

“Oppa! Oppa... please don’t be like this... oppa!” I saw her dash out from her room, shouting to Gary hyung. What pains me more was to see her kneeling down in front of Gary hyung crying her eyes out and begging for us not to be separated. It was me, I was supposed to be kneeling not her but she did it before me.

I went over towards her, picking her up from the spot. She seems weak and lighter. It seems she loses weight. I turned to Jihyo noona, I guess she understood I need help. She took her away from my arms but she keep gripping me and telling me not to let her go.

I went over in front of Gary hyung. I went down on my knees.

“Hyung, once again i apologize for my negligence especially towards your precious dongseng but to me she is precious too in my life and I cannot let her go. I need her. I do not know what I will do if we were to be separated again.. hyung.. Give me time... please.. I beg you...” I tried to stay strong but my tears fell without me knowing.

“Prove it... and then come back...” Gary hyung gave me a direct answer which I knew there is no point for me to argue anymore but I am not moving, I stay there keep kneeling in front of him while in the background I heard her sobbing hard.

Daesung came over and held me up. My body felt totally weak as I let him pull me up. On behalf of me, Daesung apologize again to Gary hyung and he slowly drags me out of the house.  As I was being drag by him, I glance towards my love; her eyes were so puffy from too much crying. She called my name and I smiled to her, a faint smile as the door closes on me.