Title: 10/10

A perfect and wonderful one <3 You did a very great job in this part! ^^

Description/Foreword: 15/20

Are you writing this story in a narrative way or a descriptive way? This makes a difference. If it is in a narrative way, all of the grammar should be in past tense. In the description you wrote "I knew I was different" and then you wrote "Deep inside me lives a tormented heart." See the change of tenses here? :) Also, you wrote "A ascendant" instead of "an ascendant". When a word starts with vowels, you need to change the "a" into "an" (except for some). I think that's it XD

Plot: 9/10

I think the plot is quite unique, except for the fact that it is a little confusing. You didn't explain the basic informations about the story (to make the readers clear) in the description. In fact, your description is also quite confusing. Native readers would understand it, however, those who has English as their third (or more) would have a hard time understanding it :)

Language*: 28/30

I've mentioned it earlier; about your tenses. You just need to stick to one tense and that's it :)

Originality: 10/10

I think I've never seen anything like this before? Wonderful! ^^

Flow: 8/10

Honestly, I think the flow is  a little too fast. With you suddenly telling that she realized about how the boys didn't age and stuffs like that, it was just too sudden. And then about her getting caught by Jongin too.

Characters development:  6/10

I think it's because the lack of chapters. Truth is, your character development is very poor. You didn't explain who the boys were properly and clearly to the readers. 

FINAL: 86/100

Reviewer's comment:

I think your story is really great! Just pay attention to the tenses and I think it'll get better :) If you're not satisfied with your score, you can always PM me with the reason too ^^ If it is reasonable, I might consider adding marks to it :) Thank you for requesting and sorry for the late review ><

*Language refers to punctutaion, paragraphing, grammar, etc.