Title: 7/10

Description/Foreword: 8/20

Plot: 7/10

Language*: 27/30

Originality: 6/10

Flow: 10/10

Characters development:  5/10

FINAL: 70/100

Reviewer's comments:

The first thing is, I love your title but I somehow don't get why you put a full stop right after it (?) Because I think a title is a title not a sentence so yeah ... basically we can't give full stops after titles. Also, the capitalization is incorrect. The beginning letter of each word should have been captalized (like normal titles) o n o don't bash me pls that's what my teacher taught me okay? (I was just applying the knowledge c:) 

So well, basically, your description generalizes the whole thing but still, you should've made it more interesting like describing it more or perhaps, giving a short intro abt Kaisoo (like why do you ship them in real life c:) A description with only 4 words is definitely not captivating! Like well, okay in your mind right now, you might be thinking, "what the hell i am jut generalizing the main point of this fic. Like what the heck can I add?" You can always add what I suggested you to add before to make it more captivating and interesting (which means you can attract people to read it o u o ) That was why I gave you a (somehow) low score. :D 

Your plot is epic lmao xD (I'm pretty sure I used the wrong word. #shot) What I mean is (lol), your plot is like soooo damn rare in real life (in short, unique c:) and well, anyone who reads that will probably agree. (#slapped) It's not only unique butttt, it's also hilarious I mean the part when you said that Jongin is twelve while Kyungsoo is twenty freaks me out eheheheheh. (like I can't imagine Kyungsoo being twenty and still looking like a baby omg lol pls ignore this i beg you) And it was pretty short tho.. Well yeah but whatever. It's still called a fan fiction (gosh really some ppl still don't get that word and bash authors like blablabla) The ending of the chap is so.... idk what word to use but it's surely a compliment teehee. c: I was like, "aww forbidden (not really) love <3" omf I was to dramatic I guess.

You language, well, no comment. (lol justkidding there is) I mean, your use of vocabulary is fab that probably when my English teacher reads this he'll be like, "tears of joy." Alsowww, (hah. I'm not good at spelling myself. lmao.) I'm pretty sure I found no typos like wow. But there are minor errors like "I couldn't careless". It was supposed to be "I couldn't care less" because "careless" and "care less" are two words with a totally different meaning. 

Definitions (just in case):

careless: not giving sufficient attention or thought to avoiding harm or errors.

care less: as the word says, you care less. Means you don't really care. (#shot)

This error occured pretty often in your chapter. So I hope the definitions helps you to avoid doing this kind of error again! (to prevent readers from getting all confused c:) Overall, it wasn't a hindrance troughout my reading. I can still understand the whole thing! (well since i knew that it was an error lol)

For the originality, well, in real life, it is a unique thing but in most fics, I see a lot of student-teacher blablabla forbidden relationship like that so it's like, pretty common heheh. And also, the plot is like totally common (there you go i said it again sighs why life) i mean common like common love stories. So these two people like each other and they confess and BAM. Happy ever after. (lmao what am i doing orz)  

I probably gave you not that much score for your plot and originality but the flow is awesome! Nope. Nothing really confusing about the chapter! From start till end. Goodie goodie! :3

For the character development, well you didn't describe about your characters in the foreword/description but there isn't much description about the characters in the chapter either. So well, yeah I basically don't know their personalities and whatsoever. But well I probably know one, like, they're somehow s (?) #shot lol. 

Long comment heheh. I hope you're not mad at me for critisizing some parts and sorry if I probably done something wrong! You can always learn from your mistakes. Hwaiting!! ^^ (p.s: i ship kaisoo too buddy! #slapped)

If any of you are curious and wants to read, click here and go into the amazing world of Kaisoo! o u o  *plays the amazing world of gumball theme song lol* TEEHEE.

- hallyuloverxoxo 

*Language refers to punctutaion, paragraphing, grammar, etc.