Kibum wake up by the sound of a soft music that played thorough the speakers in the hospital. He opened his eyes slowly and try to adjust the strange feeling in his view. He feel the warm sunray that hit his face between the spaces of the curtains. Kibum slowly try to sit on the bed and staring blankly at the outside of windows. his daydream stopped when someone knocking at the door. He glance and staring at the man who was walked towards him.

“Good morning, Kibum-ssi. How do you feel today?” Jinki greet Kibum and give him a beautiful and warm smile that Kibum swear it’s the most beautiful thing that his saw from everything he seen since he opened his eyes.

“Morning doctor” Kibum smiles tiredly. “I don’t know if this fine or not, but I feel my head a little bit heavy.” Kibum continues and touch slightly at his head.

Jinki sat on the chair and crossed both his legs and arms, “it must be due to your long sleep since yesterday. So, you already fine by now, since you don’t feel the pain from your left arm anymore.” Jinki smile and write several notes in the paper he had holding in and put it in back to his pocket.

“I already talk with your, um.. manager, I asked him to let you rest for several days from your activity because you really need it. I know your job it’s really busy, but you really lack of rest and it makes your body grown weak everyday.” Jinki pause when he sees Kibum lowered his head and have a gloom face carved clearly in his face. “something wrong?”

Kibum sighed and lift his gaze towards the window, “thanks doctor, but if I stop… nobody stand there for me anymore. I don’t want to be left alone.”  He staring straight at the tree that standing alone in the park between the empty bench both from it side.

Jinki leaned in his chair and followed Kibum gaze to the window. He feel pity hearing Kibum who was an artist that stand in the crowded people and admired by a lot of his fans out there yet he feel lonely inside of his heart. Jinki try to bring Kibum to talk about his life, he want to know. But he fear if it can annoy his patient privacy.

“you know, its my job to treat of a sick patient while they still in this hospital. It’s my responsibility to treat them until they feel better before they leave from here.”

“yeah, I know that.” Kibum laugh a little and glance at Jinki. He stare at the man who was wearing white shirt and grey pants covered by his clean white coat. Kibum actually never liking the style of all the doctor wear to fit their job. He never like that clean coat and cold stethoscope which make them stand elegantly while their job really not far from the bad smell of medicine or blood from their patient. But, right now seeing Jinki sit calmly and coolly wearing that thing, somehow Kibum can't stray away his gaze from the older male.

“so, wanna try to share with me?? Maybe it not really much help, but you will feel better after talk about it with someone.” Jinki smile and feel a little confidence from Kibum stare.

“you want to listen it? It’s not like I want your pity or something. But I just make sure you really responsible for your job.” Kibum said firmly half not believe to the older man can actually understand he condition.

“why  not?” Jinki shrugged his shoulder and move the chair closer to Kibum bed. “okay, but I’m not to much hope you can give some advice for me later, doc.” Kibum laugh a little and pointed his finger to Jinki.

Kibum start to tell a little about his life. How he end up being an artist, how he was so excited for the first time to be admired by a lot of people because of his appearance, his performance, even his style. Jinki stare and smile at Kibum happy face talked about his love to his job and he just nodded and sometime give a hum to justified his opinion. Then Kibum starting tell the worst part from his life. How he got black-mailing from his anti-fans that doesn’t like him, how several of his old friend threatening him because of his popularity and how he felt lonely when there’s nobody can’t support him or standing with him when he really need it to stray away a bit from his cold world that surrounding him.  Kibum start to lowered his head. Jinki observed the changed expression from Kibum face. He know, its not a good sign and just let the room silent for several minutes after Kibum take a long sighed and lift his head facing the ceiling.

“you know, I feel tired at that time. and I try to ran and escape from it. I went to my parents house to get some rest or support and tell them how tired I was at my job and all. I want to end it and try to life as a normal people again. But, what I got when I was home??” Kibum look at Jinki and smirk sadly, “they said I must continue my life and keep being an artist so I can keep continue to support their financial or they won’t accept me to be their children anymore.” Kibum inhale his sobbing voice and hold his tears to not falling from his eyes. Jinki stare deeply at Kibum figure who was not talk anymore beside a soft sobbing heard from his.

“hah… how poor I am to get this kind of life. When I heard that words from their bare mouth, my life crashed at second times and I felt it really hurt than some of sharp blade sliced my heart. I really left alone in this dirty world. This world and this cursed world.” Kibum squeeze his blanket into a tight grip.

“so why are you keep being an artist until today?” Jinki asked after his long silence and observe while listened at Kibum stories. “because this way I can feel needed. For them that always give me support and give some loved, its better and give me motivation to keep my life.” Kibum loosen up his grip and staring blankly at the blanket “this kind of life like a double-edged sword. You feeling safe and pain at the same time. But you can’t help if the loneliness keep gnawed at you, and make you think to end it forever.”

“then that’s why you try to kill yourself.” Jinki concluded them. He nods and tugging at his lap. “I don’t know what kind of advice I can give to you, but how about if I tell you some interesting stories that have a bit similar condition with you??”

“like I said, you don’t have to forced yourself to give me an advise. I feel a bit ease after telling you about my worst life. So, I think I’m fine now.” Kibum force himself to laugh and smile like he always used in front of television.

“you’re not the only one in this world that have the worst part in this life. I already witnessing some of the worst part from other people life. But, I can tell you some of it that I know it perfectly.” The silence surround in the room for a while. But, it's a sign for Jinki to continued his words.

“someone that I know life by himself from his junior school. His parents leaving him alone in this big and cruel world. He lost his house because of his parents debts from several loan-shark. He had life in the street for a perfect month, nobody want to save him, nobody there to help him, it just him and his miserable life alone in this wild world. But he tried to continue his life by take a several jobs and made him stop from his school.” Jinki staring down at the floor then he had a warm smile in his face remember his memories. “but you know, he never cursed at his unlucky life he had. He never showed his sadness or his hateful toward the world that already cruel to him. He keep his positive mind and trying his best to change from his worst life become his better life by himself alone. And now he succeed and prove it to me.” Jinki smile proudly at his last word. Kibum heart feel twitched look at Jinki happily smile. He want that smile to him. He want that smile only to him.

“oh, how lucky he is having you beside him” Kibum sorrow voiced and gloom feeling on his face

“yeah. But it just him from the beginning. I stand beside him after we met several years ago.”

“but he have you now, at least he is not alone again in the end, right?”

Jinki silent at Kibum words toward him. They staring each other for a while. Jinki doesn’t have any word in this awkward situation to comfort Kibum feeling but deep inside his heart he want to help Kibum. He just don’t know how to replay Kibum desperate words. “I don’t know if this can help or not, but I’m sure there’ll be someone who will stand with you and give you support to risen from your darkness life.” Jinki pause, he know he must say something after such a cheesy talk. “but, you don’t have to feel alone now. Until the day it come, I always here to help you and accompany you  to not feeling lonely again.” Jinki smile at Kibum surprising face, he get up from his chair and walked closer to the bed, then he ruffled Kibum hair

Jinki parked his car on the parking area, he wear his black glasses and fixing his tousled hair and then step out from his car. He walked inside the building to searching where Jonghyun class right now. Some of people staring at his nice figure and calmly aura around him. He gave a bright smile to people who was stare at him strangely. He keep walking until he stop at some of quite building and stop at his tracks when he sees at two standing man leaning on the wall. He took off his glasses and furrowed his eyebrow to clearing his view. Jinki walk closer as he seen one of them wearing the clothes and having a brown hair that he perfectly know who he is.

“jonghyun?” he ask and distracted them, both of them looking at him. He furrowed his eyebrow when he seen his lover standing in that position with other male.

“o-onew-hyung!” Jonghyun half suprised shout and wide his eyes seeing Jinki standing there and watched them. He then look at Minho who was look at him at the same time. Jonghyun tries to pushed Minho hard, make the racer almost falling because he lose his balance.

“it’s not like what you think, hyung” jonghyun take a step closer to Jinki who was staring deeply at him, “he.. he just..”

Minho watched Jonghyun move away from him as he closer to the older man. Then he gaze toward Jinki eyes and observed the figure that Jonghyun try to calm the anger from Minho conclude its Jonghyun’s lover. “oh, so you are his master?”

Jonghyun words cutting by Minho’s suddenly question. Both Jinki and Jonghyun look at him with a confused expression. Jinki knowing the sound of Minho words pointed at him “excuse me, what do you mean?”

“someone talk to me that this puppy” minho pointed at the silent Jonghyun who was standing between them, “already have his master. Is it you, right?” now he glance back to Jinki again.

“I don’t know what puppy-master you are talking about here. But can you tell me, what are you two doing here?” Jinki try to calm his anger with exhale slowly his breaths.

“hyung, I will explain later. Lets get out from here now” Jonghyun still try to ease the tension atmosphere around them.

“I want him.” Minho said finally looking at Jinki and Jonghyun who was facing his back to Minho. Jinki twitching his eyes and he feel the heat around his body risen up, but he still try to calm down. While the other hand, Jonghyun gape his mouth and looking down at the floor then close his eyes tightly, “”

“I don’t care if he already have you now, I just want him to be mine.” Minho continue his brave words to take whatever risk for that later. He just want to show how serious he is about his love toward Jonghyun. Jonghyun opened his eyes hearing Minho words and turned his body to look at the younger male. He want to say something but it’s already late when he saw Jinki passing him and walked closer to Minho.

“how old are you now?” Jinki facing the younger male with his flat and calm face.

“it’s not something  that related with age, old man” Minho scoffed at Jinki and staring back at him. Jinki rolled his eyes, “of course it is, you dummy. If you’re already old enough to become as a college student, then you should understand that touching someone's belonging, not a good decision as a mature act, kiddo.” Jinki smile and walked away from Minho's side after seen his defeated face.

“yeah, like some kid act to dare kissing someone's belong. It’s not something that any kid could do, old man.” Jinki froze at his pace. He squeeze his finger into a tight fist and he rolled his eyes turning away facing Minho again. Jonghyun who was standing speechless, widening his eyes heard Minho last word. He can’t believe, Minho is the one who told to Jinki about his stupid kiss incident in the last time. Jonghyun running toward his boyfriend and try to reach and stopping Jinki who was already lose his patience and eyes full of anger now.

But, its already late when Jinki raise his fist and punch Minho hard right on his face. Jonghyun really can’t do anything right now besides standing silently looking down at Minho who was fall on the floor and touch his hurt face. Jonghyun can hear Jinki fumed breath who wasn’t control his anger and his patience anymore.