a/n : there is too much word that I realize this part is ing long... so I guess there will be a part 2 about this chapie~

---♥♥♥---

Jonghyun groan slightly before he opened his eyes. trying to adjust with the light around his own room, he softly rub his eyes. When he opened them completely, he suddenly feel his throat had a huge rock in it that make he hardly to let out his voice because of the surprising thing in front of his eyes. Just a small whimper, the only thing he can voice out for the person in front of his eyes.

“you’re awake?” Jinki's melodic soft voice wake him completely and make him realized that he doesn’t in the dreamland. Jinki reached forward to the blushed cheek and softly brushing Jonghyun bangs from his face. Jonghyun who was still silent watched his boyfriend and lean on to the touch Jinki gives to him. “hey, wake up my princess.”

“o-onew hyungie~, is.. is that you? b-but wh-why?”

“yah, pabo! is that the way you greet your boyfriend who was away for two months?”

Jonghyun back at his silent stare, “a-ani… It just…” Jonghyun paused a while before he touch the stilled hand that on his face, “I really missed you, hyung. So, I thought.. I’m still dreaming.”

Jinki smile and slowly leaning forward to facing his boyfriend who was still lie down, Jinki stare at the slightly pale lips his boyfriend had, “you okay? you look a bit pale.”

Jonghyun just smile back and shook his head in respons, “Just tired.”

“hmm..hmm.. How was your exams?” Jinki touched Jonghyun nose with his own and them together.

“they are good.” Jonghyun lean on the touch and close his eyes, he felt his heart a bit pang as the guilt hit his heart because the lie he made to Jinki about his last exam.

“how long are you trying to sleep? don’t you have something to do today?” Now, Jinki not trying to smell Jonghyun’s scent but also tasted his boyfriend right on the lips and savor it gladly. Jonghyun who was accept it gave up his small breath as he at the intrusion in his mouth. He receive it gladly as he slide his arms around Jinki’s neck and pulled him closer so the doctor can make their passionate kiss much more deeper.

“Hmm..” Jonghyun hummed in respons and let the kiss hold a bit longer. Later, Jonghyun pull out first for take an air and let the doctor lips pass his mouth and kiss Jonghyun’s jaws instead. “later at noon. But hyung? why are you back earlier than your schedule? something’s wrong?

Jinki keeps kissing and leave several –ah, correction but a lot of- hickeys on his lover’s neck, kind of prove that he really miss his boyfriend and keeps marking the smaller man just to make sure his lover is still his.

“that’s the opposite thing.” finally he let go Jonghyun’s skin and facing his confused boyfriend with a bright smile because the good news that he receive for his job. “I got a promotion.”

Slowly the words reach out Jonghyun’s numb brain and his mouth curved into a wide smile as he cupped Jinki’s cheeks with both of his hands and bring it to get closer facing him. Jonghyun feels his eyes watering as his vision get a bit blurry, “really hyung? oh.. thankgod! you really great hyung. Really…”

Jinki bring his arms behind Jonghyun’s back as he hugged Jonghyun tight. His smile never leave his lips and he keeps nodding and shush his sobbing boyfriend in his arms. When Jonghyun was done with his tears, Jinki parted their embrace and wipe the remaining tears on Jonghyun’s cheeks with his thumb. He laugh at his adorable Jonghyun’s face make after his session with the tears, eyes a bit swollen, nose a bit red and those lips a bit wet and trembling trying to muffled his sobbing voice.

“so, can I get my reward tonight?” Jonghyun eyes openly wide at Jinki’s sudden question. he knows perfectly what kind of ‘reward’ that Jinki talk about. But instead to answering his lover, he grab the pillow behind him and hit Jinki right on the face. “ ing doctor,” as he jumps out from the bed and run to the bathroom.

Jinki falls to the bed while whining his heart loud, in Jonghyun’s ears sounds like his teasing laughing for Jonghyun respons with his last question. “come on Jjong. Its already two months. I can’t hold any longer.”

“hmm… Let me think about it later, but… I have something to give to you first.” the only answer Jinki get before his lover back to the bathroom to get dressed for his school.

---♥♥♥---

“home sweet home.” Kibum plopped himself on his brown comfy sofa inside his apartment. He stare blankly at the white ceiling with the pink flower print on it. He just back from his last shoot session for some magazine before his manager announced for him that he get 2 weeks for rest, and use them wisely.

He actually can’t think for what he gonna do in his relax time. He try to conviced Ji Eun that he is okay and he needs the job to distract his mind because of his broken heart. But from what Ji eun saw, Kibum lack of focus lately and make his job a bit wretched and that’s not a good idea to keep forward. So, she insist Kibum should take a rest to relaxing his mind.

Kibum reached his phone to check any emails that comes, or any news in the internet as he keesp thinking for what he's gonna do. He want to see Jinki, want to talk with him, want to ran to that strong arms and smell the sweet scent from that warm body and melt him in his embrace. God, he needs Jinki now.

After spent several time to thinks, Kibum get an idea for him to make his heart get calm, he thinks this will be kind of crazy idea, but he will do this for the last time before he give up completely. He will meet Jinki tomorrow. He will.

---♥♥♥---

Minho adjust his glasses and whistled a random song proved that he was in his good moods in this late morning. He high five some of his friend that he met around the campus. He keeps walking and went to music areas to find a certain cute puppy around. He gaze fell toward a white porsche car which was parked beautifully across the street. Minho opened his glasses when the man that he looking for, come out from the said car.

He frown at the sight as he trying to remember. At least he always sees Jonghyun walk to his university or ride the bus if he is kind of late for his first lesson. Call him a stalker but he refuse to admitted as he keeps telling his mind this is only the way to taking care of Jonghyun from afar.

His object admiration give a shinning smile when the driver from the car come out as well, and Minho felt his heart clenched and he feels his anger boils up. “isn’t he suppose to back for the next month? What the..?”

Minho gritted his teeth and looking away when the sight in front of him give an certain aura that Minho hates to admitted that it was Love. He looking back to Jonghyun when the latter waving his hands toward the man of his love and tell him to be careful on the way.

as the car start to ride and leaving Jonghyun behind. Minho still watched Jonghyun who was not moved from his spot until the car disappear from his sight. The racer can look the other man sigh softly before he turning back toward the building. Minho watched the smaller man getting nearer and nearer to where he was stand, so Minho quickly hiding his body to leaning behind the wall.

He grab Jonghyun’s wrist when the latter showed up in front of him and make him to lean on the wall. Jonghyun widen up his eyes at the sudden intrusion and got his second surprised for this morning as well, “Mi..Minho?”

“Good Morning, Jjongie.”

“H-Hey, Minho.”

“what? something's wrong? tho you look like happy in this late morning.” still with his gaze lock on Jonghyun eyes, Minho smirk knowing the shorter man nervous right now.

“nothing. I’m just feel relieved. Well, you know exams is over, I got into audition and just wait for the result soon, and yeah I’m feel happy. That’s all.” Jonghyun shrugged and smile nervously toward Minho dagger gaze.

“hmm, I guess you right. exams is over and I’m pretty sure you will pass the audition. So, no wonder you are in a good mood today.” Minho removes his hand from Jonghyun’s wrist and started walking. But before he gets too far, he turn over and facing Jonghyun again and gave him a wink  “but, after all of that, your happy feeling no other than your great boyfriend already back. I’m happy for you too, Jjong.”

“what the… Minho! Stop doing that to me! and.. what are you doing here, its not even your class.”

“Life is an adventure, Jjong. I only want to see another side of my class. That’s all.” Minho laugh look at pouting Jonghyun and follow him to the locker room while the shorter moving all his book from the locker to his own bag. When the other man stop a while, Minho frown looking at him.

“what? You forget to bring another of your book?”

“No.” Jonghyun look at Minho then back at his book in his hands. It’s the book that he will give to Jinki for their anniversary, and he isn’t in the mood to tell Minho about this. “I think, I will pass my class for this noon.”

“why? you will go to somewhere? with me? are we going on date? then it should be now. Come on!”

“ugh… Minho! will you stop?! I’m not going to somewhere, and we are not dating. Stop making a fuss. it’s not your business where I’m going later.” Jonghyun look at his watch and give Minho a final glare, “I’m ing late! bye alien…”

“H-Hey, jjong! Wait up!”

---♥♥♥---

Jinki parked his car in the hospital parking area. He grab his coat before steps out from the car. He greet several nurse inside the hospital as he keeps walking toward his room before he started his job. after get a new positions in the hospital, somehow Jinki felt his job getting much and much more so he doesn’t realized it already dark outside.

He is about to check out several patient before decide to come over to Jonghyun’s place, and spent the night over there. He walked in the corridor when a figure stop him from his track. the person standing beautifully holding a certain bag and Jinki can tell him kinda nervous as the person fidgeting with his own shirt.

“hey, Jinki. can we talk a bit?”

Jinki just smile back replies the smile that Kibum give him. He gesturing Kibum to following him in the waiting room, since Jinki is pretty sure Kibum won’t come to his room like usual, because he felt something different for today.

They reached the waiting room in silence and Jinki motioning Kibum to sit and so they can start their conversation like what Kibum wants. Kibum grab tightly the bag that he was holding in a long time now and handed it toward Jinki.

“this is a small gift from my last shoot before. Hope you like it.”

“Kibum..”

“I know, I’m sorry if I bother you now. But, I just come to give this. Please, take it.”

“Kibum, I..”

“No, I do know you don’t want to see me again after what I did last time,I –”

“Kibum, that’s not it. I’m happy to see you here. It just I’m a bit shocked to see you here when you said that we will meet in that island.” Jinki said hurriedly just to make sure that it was okay for them to meet he here if Kibum wants to talks about anything that bothering his mind as Jinki grab the bag and put it beside him.

“Thanks, Jinki. I appreciate it. Now, I want to tell you something before I go.” Kibum takes a breath deeply and stare at Jinki smoothly, “I love you.”

Jinki stare absentmindly at Kibum sudden boldness, his mind thought about where did Kibum get the idea to confess to him when the latter knows perfectly that Jinki can’t never receive his feeling, “Kibum, I-“

“Wait, I’m not done yet.” Kibum raise his hand in front of Jinki face to stop him to talk further more. “I know there is never chance for me to get your heart. But since its impossible for me to get you, its hurts for me too, if I keep holding on this feeling. So, that’s why, I tell you this now and for the last time before I finally gave up on you.”

Jinki keeps silent, not knowing what to do when it comes to this kind of situation. He doesn’t want to hurts someone when his job is to heal someone who was hurts. But, now he is the one who makes his ex patient hurts, and he don’t know how to heal this kind of hurts that Kibum talked about.

“I already made my mind before I’m coming to you. Jinki, thank you for all of the things that you gave to me. I really thank for you to make me become someone like this now. I want my life to get better, even though it just for my self. Really, thank you.”

Kibum smile sadly at his last word, and Jinki not stupid enough to realize it. “Kibum, I know you will life and you will get better and better also maybe I just can say this, I also thank you for your feeling to me. But can we stay as a friend, because I love you too as a friend.” Jinki smiles back at Kibum and give a reassuring gaze, “So, stop making it like the last time we will meet. My door will always open up for you, you know.”

Kibum shake his head, “No, Jinki. This is will be the last time we meet. Starting next week, I’m going to my new debut at Japan, and I’m not thinking to going back at here.”

Jinki smiles fade away instantly, “what? are you serious?”

“hmm..hmm.. that’s why I said it for the first and last time for me to confess to you. And I’m a bit relief after telling you this. I will live there and maybe, I will try to open up my heart a bit and get someone as kind as you are.” Kibum smiles again and he feels his body a bit lightly as he feel his problem lifting up a bit with his decision to finally confess all of his feeling to Jinki and he is happy too, because he doesn’t make the man his loved feel hurt because of his decision.

“oh, I see.” Jinki facing Kibum again, this time he give Kibum a sincere smile as he feel a bit regret for them to end like this. “I hope for your happiness, Kibum.”

“of course I’ll be happy. You know that I leaving now in a fun and happy life.” Kibum playfully chuckle at Jinki sadness face. The silence surround between them after the sudden awkward atmosphere around them. Kibum look at his watch on his wrist, and looking back at Jinki who was facing back at him too. “So, uhm.. I guess its time for me to go.”

“You want me drive you back? its still my rest time actually.” Jinki offered sincerely at Kibum, afraid for something to happen to the younger man in the way he get home. Plus, this time he feel a bit responsible for Kibum for the last time, just maybe.

“nee, its okay.” Kibum shakes his head, while give Jinki a thankful smile. “I bring a car and I wanna go somewhere else before I went home.” Kibum pause a bit, he nervously bit his bottom lips and looks up at Jinki, “but, can I ask something else instead driving me back?”

---♥♥♥---

Jonghyun walks happily to the hospital in that late afternoon. He want to make a surprise to his boyfriend by visiting him there. He hold the book in his hands tightly and smile brightly. That’s his anniversary gift for Jinki, and he pretty sure the other man will receive this gladly. He smile grew widely when he catch the front of hospital sight, and make his walks bit faster and faster.

When he talk to the nurse receptionist to ask where is Jinki now, he give a brightly smile toward the lady as he thanks her for the information. He look down at the book once again as he stepped inside the hall in Jinki’s room floor. After a several knocks, the only thing that greet him just a completely silent and empty room without Jinki presence in there.

Jonghyun walking back to the hall in silence. Wandering where his boyfriend was. The lady said, Jinki get his time to rest before his night shift today. So, where the hell is Jinki now…

He keeps walks and sometimes check around the ward or any other patient room to found the older man. He want to call Jinki but then he realized then its not a surprise anymore if he asked about the doctor nowhere. When he reached an empty waiting room, he froze at the spot instantly at the sight in front of him.

From the place he was stand, he can perfectly hear the other conversation, even in the middle poor of light, he can make sure that’s his boyfriend with someone, and the worse is he can see his boyfriend leaning on to press his lips to somebody that Jonghyun doesn’t know it.

Jonghyun smiles faded away instantly. He gasp softly and covering his mouth with his back hand to surpress his shocking voice. But he failed to catch the single tear that fall from his eyes. His other hand clenched hard at the book that he hold until he knuckles turn white. Jonghyun hearts beat faster and faster but he can’t move his foot a mere inch eventhough his brain told him to ing move.

Jonghyun just confused, he confused between to walk forward his lover who was in the middle of tasting another lips or instead of run, run to somewhere place, run as fast as he can until he felt his lungs burn only to shift the pain inside his heart to some place inside his body. He just can’t hold this any longer.

But still, Jonghyun can’t moving from his spot. He keep watching the hurt sight in front of him and just let his already fragile heart shattered little by little and there's nothing left.

“Ki-Kibum.. This is…” the husky voice bring Jonghyun back to his sense and agonizingly stare at the two figures in front him. he try to get a clear vision with the other beside his lover, and it clicks in his mind when the other speak with his angelic sweet voice which Kim Kibum had. 

“Jinki, Please….” and that’s the final hit for Jonghyun - when the two of them just chose to unite their lips together again and feeling each other breath - after trying hard to hold on his sobbing voice and the tears that insist to fall down like his own heart, Jonghyun just… turn around.

He just run. Run, run and run. He run from this hurt reality. He doesn’t know where he will go, yet he doesn’t care to where the hell his feet will bring him.  He, just want to ran.

just sayin this now... I'M NOT GONNA ABANDON THIS FIC *as for my other fic too* just give me a time to my in school.... thanks for your understanding.... LOVE Ya~

ME OUT!!  *for a while, will back with the second part*

THANKIES~ ^_~v