☆ Seducing Mr. Stone Cold ☆
by: Khaireenhilda

//TITLE: (4/5)

I guess it’s a title not many had used before. It would be eye-catchy to some, as well.

//DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD: (1/5)

This is really cliché, and it’s not exactly that description to catch my eye. The character descriptions didn’t really help much at all, either, since the readers already know what type of person they are judging from what you posted on the description.

//WRITING STYLE & APPEARANCE: (4/5)

The background you have was simple but pretty, and I really love your poster! However, do put spaces after the periods or commas.

//PLOT: (17/20)

I do think there are a few impacts here and there, like “what’s the plan going to be about”, or “does Aimee still love Sehun”. That, I guess, is what I consider a little bit of the cliffhanger factor.

//ORIGINALITY: (16/20)

The description itself is cliché, as well as what goes in the story itself. Many writers already used this idea.

//FLOW: (11/15)

I think you’re rushing this, especially Chapter 3. Take your time describing the events.

//CHARACTERS: (11/15)

I think you should put more stress or intensity on what the characters feel. e.g: “I put a hand over my heart.” I interpreted that as simply putting her hand right there, but then I read “This lion is really giving me a heart attack” and that is a huge contrast on just simply placing her hand right there.

//GRAMMAR & SPELLING: (12/15)

There are a couple of grammatical errors but I have to point this out: “… the rest wolfing down their food.” I do have to admit “wolfing” sounds awkward to be used here. To those writers that don’t have English as their main language, I suggest you hire a beta-reader (but if you want to prove yourselves  good at English even though it’s not your main language, then go. I’m not forcing you. :3)

//OTHER REMARKS:

Sheesh oh Aimee what a naïve girl lmao.

//t o t a l: (76/100)
thanks for requesting. n_n