✽ { My Peter Pan } by autumnfaith

{ e x o u r o ♡ reviews } // closed

 

 

My Peter Pan
by: autumnfaith

 

//TITLE: (2/5)

A K-Pop band’s song titles are really prone to becoming fic titles. I won’t say this is unique, since a lot have already used “Peter Pan”.

 

//DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD: (4/5)

The way you described it made me think that your story’s really gonna be cute or smthn like that (until i saw "sad" in your tags sobs).

 

//WRITING STYLE & APPEARANCE: (3/5)

Your appearance is fitting, tbh, but about your flashback, I don’t think you should italicize that much. The story, so far, is mostly about the flashback, anyways.

 

//PLOT: (19/20)

It’s cute, tbh! Really cute. I don't see much of a really sad event yet, though.

 

//ORIGINALITY: (17/20)

It’s basically that typical “hey let’s be friends” “oh okay how about best of friends” “wanna take it to the next level?” “omg what if I confessed will we still be friends and won’t be much affected by it?” “omg FRIENDZONED” idea so I dropped down some points because in AFF, there are already tons of fics about those. What made this original, I guess, was that you added the idea that the girl was being bullied.

 

//FLOW: (14/15)

I could cope up with it just well, though.

 

//CHARACTERS: (13/15)

There’s nothing unique about Luhan or the girl’s role in here (part of originality). However since it’s in the POV of the girl, you described how she’s feeling pretty well.

 

//GRAMMAR & SPELLING: (15/15)

None, really. ^^;;

 

//OTHER REMARKS:

I kinda expected this to be much of a fluff fic since the title has “peter pan” in it lol.

 

//t o t a l: (87/100)
yet again I’m sorry for the late review ;o;
thanks for requesting!!

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
BR_exo
#1
Wow your 20 years old this year, time flies. I hope you comeback. Seems like you left after Kris news :(
Nictaeny9
#2
Chapter 27: Erm what about my review?
chensing #3
Chapter 26: thanks for the review! ill fix those things ^_^
LISHlian
#4
Chapter 25: Hi! Thanks so much for the review! I will try to improve on all the things which you've mentioned, and work on the things which I'm lacking of. Thanks for your honest review! ^0^
Nictaeny9
#5
username: Nictaeny9

title: Dark Ties

link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/543164/dark-ties-dark-romance-snsd-taeny-taeyeon-tiffany-yuri

no. of chapters: 9 (on going)

theme: Dark, Drama, Romance

main characters: Tiffany and Taeyeon

is english your first language? : yes

password: 900326
chensing #6
username: chensing
title: monster in the corner
link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/562201/monster-in-the-corner-exo
no. of chapters: 1 (on going)
theme: angst, mystery.
main characters: kris x oc
is english your first language? yeah.
password: 900326

there's only one chapter so far :/ I hope it's still reviewable though? :)
LISHlian
#7
username: LISHlian
title: ☬Nemesis of the Sky Descendants☬
link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/388020/nemesis-of-the-sky-descendants-fantasy-krystal-romance-supernatural-exo-kai-kaistal
no. of chapters: Currently 3 (including prologue)
theme: romance, fantasy, angst, supernatural, drama.
main characters: Krystal, kai, exo.
is english your first language? Yes
password: 300326

Thanks. The story is nowhere near complete. It barely even started! But still, I figured that I needed a review to see how I was going so far. THANKS AGAIN! \^0^/
writerinprogress94
#8
username: writerinprogress94
title: "I S I S"
link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/306119
no. of chapters: 10 (well, 12 if you count the 2 most recent, but they're just author's notes, so you can ignore ch 11 & ch 12)
theme: supernatural/sci-fi/fantasy
main characters: "You" as Choi Eun-Su; BoA; TVXQ; SHINee; EXO; Infinite; Big Bang; 2NE1; many other kpop idols will end up with larger parts later in the story (I'm planning this out as a trilogy ^^)
is english your first language?: Yes ^^
password: 900326

I haven't completed it yet (not on here, anyway), because I've been thinking that it might need re-writing, which is why I'm hoping for an unbiased, in depth review ^^
pinkblink
#9
Chapter 23: Thanks for reviewing and subbing! :3 Will credit you in my foreword soon :)