Jjung, Ssul and AJ: Age 15/17

After hyung’s birthday party last September, I felt really awkward being around Ssul. The incident had been put behind us and she had forgiven me after weeks and weeks of constant apology. For her, everything went back to normal but for me; I didn’t know how to act normal around her anymore.

When she looked at me, my heart beat faster. When she talked to me, I got all tongue-tied. When our bodies touched, my knees went weak. Basically, I was a babbling fool around her. She was no longer just the Ssul who looked like a boy and kicked my at everything. She was… a girl. I didn’t just like her like an annoying sister; I liked her as a girl. Every time I saw her now, she was just so beautiful in my eyes. She was perfect, every bit of her.

I was curious if she thought any different about me. I doubted it. She didn’t seem to be behaving any different around me except the fact that she was becoming more girly and lady-like. She kept her hair long now and she wore more feminine clothing. She still treated me the same though.

She had kept the incident of the night of the party a secret between the two of us. She never told anyone else, not even AJ hyung. When he asked why she disappeared without saying goodbye to him that night, she just told him that she was worried about me so she took me home. She didn’t want to be a buzz kill so she left without saying goodbye. He didn’t really pry anymore after that.

I still felt extremely guilty that I had said such hurtful words to her. I obviously did not mean a single word of it. In fact, I thought the complete opposite. She looked so lovely that night. I wished I could have told her that but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to. Besides, what would she have thought if I actually told her that? It would have made things so awkward for the both of us.

No matter. I had decided to keep my feelings bottled up. It was better to keep her as a friend than risk losing her.

It was now summer and we were on our summer vacation. We saw AJ hyung less that year because he started high school so we made a lot of plans to spend the entire summer vacation together. Some days we just went over to each other’s houses and hung out. Some days we played sports. Some days we took day trips. And some days we just walked around town. The next thing we knew, summer was almost over.

“Man, what did we do this entire summer? It felt like a blink of an eye,” hyung commented as we met up for another day of summer adventure.

“I can’t believe it’s almost over, we just got started…” Ssul added.

“Hmm, did we really see each other every day this vacation?” I asked rhetorically.

Ssul linked her arm around mine and rested her head on my shoulder. “Why? Is my Jjung tired of me?” she teased.

Something like that would definitely have made me blush before but now I felt myself turn into a blob of jelly.

“Aww, you cute lovebirds… Get a room!” AJ hyung chuckled making me feel even more embarrassed than I already was.

“Stop kidding hyung. I’m just her annoying little brother,” I insisted, trying to conceal the fact that I was already blushing madly.

She didn’t deny it although she didn’t let go of me either. I never really realized it before but even though I thought I felt uncomfortable when she hugged me or held my arm or leaned on me, I actually rather enjoyed it. She was leaning so close to me that I was able to smell her hair. She smelt so good it was intoxicating. I felt like I was being hypnotized. Snap out of it Jjung!

I gently wriggled out of her grasp, not wanting to offend her. I didn’t want her to let go either but it felt as though her touch was searing into my skin. “So… where are we heading today?” I asked in attempt to change the subject.

“Let’s go to the beach!” hyung suggested enthusiastically.

“Uhm… th-the beach?” Ssul stuttered. The smile on her face suddenly faded.

“What’s wrong with the beach?” hyung asked sensing her hesitation.

“Uhm… it’s n-nothing. I just… I don’t like the water,” she answered, her voice filled with fear.

“You don’t like the water? Why?” he continued asking, trying to get to the bottom of this new found fear of Ssul’s.

Her lip quivered, not wanting to tell us about it.

“Stop hyung. Can’t you see she doesn’t want to talk about it,” I protested.

“Fine… I was just curious. It’s okay, we won’t go to the beach,” he sighed.

“N-no, it’s fine. We’ll go…” she murmured.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to. We could do something else,” I assured her.

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine,” she pressed.

(At the beach…)

She may have put up a brave front but I was still a little worried about her so I decided to keep a close eye on her while we were at the beach. She didn’t enter the water the entire time we were there but she did start having fun after awhile. We kept to the shore and played beach volleyball. As usual, our uneven number was posing a bit of a problem so we decided to ask another group of boys to play with us.

The competition heated up quickly but to our surprise, Ssul was our star player. Her long arms and legs really came in handy throughout the match, blocking and diving for the ball, she was so amazing. Mid way through the match, she seemed to have found her confidence back and totally forgot about her aquaphobia.

“You guys are going to lose to a girl,” she taunted the other group.

“Tch! We were just going soft because you’re a girl. But don’t expect us to let you win so easily,” retorted one of the boys.

“It’s on!” she asserted.

It’s been awhile since I’d seen her so fired up. I smiled at the memory of all the previous times she had beaten me at sports.

It was match point for us and the other boys were fuming. AJ hyung served. The ball lobbed over the net and the opposition returned it easily. I received the ball and set Ssul up. She leapt into the air and spiked the ball with force. *Baam!* The ball hit one of the boys in the gut and he fell over in pain.

Hyung and I didn’t even notice what had actually happen. We were too busy high-fiving each other in victory.

Ssul on the other hand ran over to see if the boy was alright. “Ohmigod! I’m so sorry,” she apologized. She held out her hand and offered to help the boy up.

He pushed her hand away. “I don’t need your help,” he snarled. “Just you wait. I’ll get you back for this!”

“Come on guys, there’s no need to be sore losers,” AJ hyung came to Ssul’s defence.

The boy just spat at Ssul’s feet and walked off.

“Aren’t those guys being just a little too serious about the game?” I commented.

We didn’t want our day to be ruined so we just ignored the boys. They seemed to have left and we continued to just go about our day at the beach.

(Later that day at the beach…)

“We should head home. It’s getting late,” AJ hyung stated.

“Just a little while more. I want to watch the sunset,” Ssul pleaded. She had seemed to enjoy her day at the beach after all.

“Okay. In that case, I’m going to buy us some drinks. I’ll be right back,” hyung replied and left.

“Jjung, let’s go sit at the pier,” she suggested.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll pack our stuff up and meet you there.”

She nodded, smiled and went on her way.

I decided to catch up to hyung first to tell him that we were going to be at the pier and then headed back to gather up our belongings before heading off to meet Ssul.

I was just walking up the pier when I saw a group of people pushing and pulling each other at the far end. I squinted my eyes to try and focus them. I couldn’t quite make out who they were but I hastened my steps anyway. When I finally got close enough, I realized that the boys from the volleyball match were shoving Ssul around.

“YAH! What are you guys doing!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I had managed to startle the boys and they all turned to look at me. Unfortunately, their shoving had caused Ssul to lose her balance and when they all turned, no one was there to catch her. *Splash!* She fell into the water. They boys started running away towards me while I ran as fast as I could towards where she had fallen into the water.

“SSUL?! SSUL!” I yelled as I ran.

Even as the boys whizzed past me, my concentration was completely focused on Ssul. I dove into the water without a moment’s hesitation. I looked around but couldn’t find her.

“SSUL! SSUL!” I kept yelling.

“H-HEL..! J-JJU…!” I heard her call back, her voice muffled and choppy.

My eyes swept the open water desperately. Then I saw an arm in the far distance waving above the water.

“SSUL! I’M COMING! HANG ON!” I swam towards her, paddling as fast as I could.

As I drew closer, I could see her arm slowly submerging into the water. I mustered every ounce of strength in my body and sped towards her. I caught her just as the water swallowed the last of her fingers. I swam her back to the pier where I could see hyung witnessing the entire situation. He helped pull Ssul and I onto the pier.

“Hyung, go get help! Quickly!” I panted, gasping for air.

He ran off to find help. I turned my attention back to Ssul. She wasn’t moving.

“Ssul? Ssul?” I shook her. There was no response. I leaned in closer to check for her breathing. There wasn’t any. I started to panic. My heart was racing a hundred miles a second. “What should I do (Eotteohke)?” I said out loud but there was no one around. I’d only seen CPR on TV and movies but I had to give it a try.

I tilted her chin up and pulled open . Then I pinched her nose close and blew into . I did that a few times and proceeded to pump her chest about 10 times. I repeated it over. My worry grew exponentially.

“Come on Ssul! WAKE UP!” I shouted. “WAKE UP!” I was exhausted and my emotions were just too overwhelming that I started to cry.

On my fifth try, she finally coughed and spat out water. I collapsed right beside her. The last thing I remembered, I felt her hand touch mine and heard her call out my name softly, “Jjuuunnnggg…” I’m glad you’re alright… And then I passed out.