Jjung, Ssul, Suzy, Luna and AJ: Age 17/18/19

I went on a few more dates with Suz after that day. They were always very casual, just like friends hanging out. That was what I liked most about her. We were so comfortable around each other. I didn’t ask Ssul about her date with that guy nor did she mention anything about it. I was beginning to get over Ssul and I was starting to like Suz more and more. We weren’t a couple yet though. I hadn’t asked her to be my girlfriend or anything. I wasn’t even sure if my feelings for her were romantic. I just wanted to take things slow and see where they would go.

I no longer really had a reason to sneak away during lunch but I still did it sometimes to spend some time with Suz. It was really unfortunate that we were in different classes otherwise we would have probably grown closer more quickly.

“Suz, do you want to have lunch with my friends and me tomorrow?” I finally asked her one day.

“Really? You want me to meet your friends?” she responded incredulously.

I felt embarrassed and guilty at the same time. “I’m sorry I haven’t done it sooner. I’m not trying to hide you from them or anything I swear. I just hadn’t thought of it for some reason.”

She laughed at me. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. Yes, let’s do that tomorrow.”

“Great! Meet me at the cafeteria tomorrow?”

She nodded.

(The next day at lunch time…)

“Hey guys… I’ve asked someone to join us for lunch. You don’t mind do you?” I asked Ssul, AJ hyung and Luna.

They looked at me in shock.

“You know someone else aside from us?” teased hyung.

“Shut up!” I responded and gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

“Oww!” he rubbed his shoulder.

“Who is it? Is it a guy or a girl?” Luna asked.

“Uhm… it’s a girl,” I responded shyly.

“Oooooooo…” hyung and Luna taunted at the same time and started laughing.

I looked over at Ssul but I couldn’t read her expression. “Do we know her?” she asked.

“Uhm… yeah, kind of…” I muttered.

“Jjung!”

“Oh, Suz… You’re just in time…” I said.

Ssul, hyung and Luna turned to look at each other.

“Suz, this is AJ hyung, he’s my best friend, this is Luna noona, and this is Ssul, we’ve known each other since we were kids and she’s my neighbor. Guys this is Suzy,” I introduced.

“Hi,” she greeted and gave a bow.

The other three bowed back politely.

“Jjung, you didn’t even tell your best friend that you have a girlfriend? I don’t approve!” hyung joked.

“N-No… uhm… we’re not a couple,” I protested. “We’ve only been on a few dates.”

I peered at Ssul again to check for her reaction but she just stayed silent.

We sat back down with me sitting between Ssul and Suz.

“So are you guys a couple?” Suz directed the question at hyung and Luna.

“AJ oppa rejected me a long time ago but I haven’t given up hope,” Luna joked.

AJ hyung gave a little smile and blushed. “If that’s the case, we’re an odd couple…”

“What about you Ssul? Are you dating someone?” Suz asked eagerly.

“No, I’m not. I’m not really interested in any of the guys who have asked me out so far. I’m waiting for someone special,” she answered with a sad tone in her voice.

Wait, what?! It can’t be… but what about that guy? Is she not dating him? I banged my head against the table. This caused everyone to stare at me.

“Are you okay Jjung?” Suz asked feeling worried.

“I-I’m fine. I just forgot to hand in an important assignment,” I lied. It was a terrible lie but I couldn’t think of anything else at that moment.

“What assignment?” Ssul wondered. “I don’t remember having to hand in any assignments…”

“Oh, uhm… uhm… it’s for extra credit,” I lied again. Please don’t ask me anything else…

“Okay…” Ssul shrugged.

“So… is there someone you like?” Suz asked again.

Why is she so curious about Ssul? Although… I’m curious about that myself…

“Uhm…” Ssul hesitated. “Yes…” she answered simply.

“Who is it?” Suz pressed on.

“Just… just someone… He doesn’t like me back,” she answered looking away from everyone.

“Oh, I’m sorry for being so nosy,” Suz apologized.

“No, it’s okay. I missed my chance, unfortunately,” Ssul replied with the gloomiest expression I had ever seen.

“Well… did you even tell him?” Suz continued.

“N-No… I waited too long…”

“It’s never too late! You shouldn’t give up!” Suz cheered her on. “Hwaiting!”

Ssul gave her a little smile in return.

I was still in a state of confusion. Everything that had just been said was new information to me. So Ssul isn’t dating that guy. But she likes someone… and apparently he doesn’t like her back? What the heck is going on? Wait but that means… I MADE A MISTAKE AGAIN! How could I have been so wrong? I’m such an idiot!

“Jjung are you alright? You seem a little weird. Are you not feeling well?” Suz was concerned.

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” I looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

What am I to do now? Even though I now knew that I was wrong about Ssul, I was already sort of dating Suz. I may not have had strong feelings for her in the beginning but the more I knew her, the more I liked her. In fact, I was beginning to develop feelings for her. For the short while that we had been together, I had been really happy. We had great connection and she really liked me.

I turned my head to look at Ssul. The Ssul who could still make my heart race with just one look, one smile, one touch. The Ssul who gave me my first kiss. The Ssul who held my heart for so long. Could I really give her up?

Suz laid her hand on mine. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She looked into my eyes and my heart beat faster.

My heart reacted to Suz as well… I felt really guilty. No! I can’t do this to Suz. I told her I wanted to give this a chance and I meant it. It wasn’t fair to Suz if I went back on my word. It wasn’t like I had no feelings for her. We were good together. We were comfortable. I cared for her a lot. I didn’t want to hurt her.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I answered and squeezed her hand.