Jjung, Ssul and AJ: Age 12/14

Ssul, AJ hyung and I were in the middle of one of our basketball matches. Since we had an uneven number, we took turns to go one on one. You’d think that it would be unfair for a boy to play against a girl but Ssul could definitely hold her own. She was a bad for sure. It’s been 4 years now that AJ hyung, Ssul and I became a constant trio. Well technically, it was AJ hyung and I the inseparable best friends, and Ssul who always hung around us. In the beginning, I found it a little annoying that she would always follow us around. Hyung never seemed to mind though so I’d just let it slide. After awhile, I got used to it. Somehow, she always got whatever she wanted from me.

“It’s 7 to 9 Jjung. Ssul’s beating you!” hyung snickered. He knew I hated to lose, let alone to a girl.

I looked up as I was dribbling to ball to see Ssul with a mocking grin on her face. I gritted my teeth, as the desire to win took over my entire body. However, I was a little distracted by hyung’s teasing that I wasn’t able to evade Ssul’s interception of the ball. She stole it out of my grasp and made the shot. *Swoosh*. The ball falls smoothly through the net.

“First to 10, Ssul wins!” shouted AJ hyung from the sidelines.

He ran over to her and they high fived each other. I was left to suffer the defeat on my own. I face-palmed myself feeling distraught at my defeat. It was like a replay of when Ssul and I first met. This seemed to be a common pattern when I was around her. It was like she was my kryptonite; I was so weak around her.

“Well, well. Look who we have here,” said someone from a distance.

I didn’t have to look to find out who it was. I already knew. It was the bully from primary school. Life was finally getting more peaceful at school since he left for middle school so I wasn’t expecting to see him at all. Could this day get any worse?

“What do you want?” AJ hyung spoke up first.

I turned around to face the bully. As I had expected, he had brought his group of buddies with him.

“Stay out of it foreigner, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to girly here.”

Even after 4 years, nothing had changed with that guy except now he was taller so I had to tilt my head up to look at him. “Still the same old oaf I see,” I sneered back. It was one thing to pick on me but to treat hyung like that too, it was too much.

“And you are still a smart . Not knowing when to keep your mouth shut.”

I could tell I was testing his short temper. I decided to back off.

He walked over and picked up our ball. “This court is now ours. And so is this ball.”

“Hey that’s not fair! That’s our ball and we were here first!” Ssul interjected.

“Tch! Who’s this? Your girlfriend?” He turned to his buddies, “Girly has a girlfriend.” They laughed. “You like guys that look like girls?” he directed the question at Ssul.

“Better than you, you ugly monkey! At least Jjungie is a nice person, unlike you!” Ssul replied, completely unafraid.

“How dare you!” His anger was boiling over. I could see he was thinking of hitting her.

“Hey, you wouldn’t hit a girl right?!” I yelled at him.

AJ hyung protectively stood in front of Ssul, just in case.

The bully glared at me. “Well, I would definitely hit you,” he scorned.

Just then, Ssul comes out of nowhere and threw a punch at him. He fell to the ground only because he wasn’t expecting it.

Everyone was stunned. No one could believe what had happened. Even Ssul was frozen. I quickly realized that there was no way we could have stayed there and not be beaten up once the bullies came to their senses. I took her by the hand and started running. “Run, hyung!” I shouted behind me, making sure that AJ hyung would get away too.

“YASH! Run you coward! Get a girl to fight your battles for you. Even that’s too humiliating for you girly!” barked the bully after us. By then we were too far ahead to be caught.

We ran as fast and hard as we could, not stopping or looking back. The bully’s voice was still ringing in my head. We ran until we were out of breath. We stopped, panting hard and gasping for air. I let go of Ssul’s hand.

“I think we got away,” AJ hyung said, still out of breath.

“Why did you do that?” I asked Ssul.

She just stood and stared at me.

“What were you thinking?” I asked again.

“He was going to hit you. I couldn’t just let him. It just… happened,” she answered. She herself was unsure how it happened.

“Well you shouldn’t have!” I yelled all of a sudden.

Ssul was taken aback.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” hyung shoved me lightly.

I ignored him. I was too angry at Ssul. “Do you realize what you have done? You humiliated me!” I continued yelling.

“Is this because of what the bully said?” Ssul finally uttered.

“Come on Jjung, aren’t you overreacting?” hyung butted in, trying to mediate the situation. However, it only fueled my anger.

“Isn’t it bad enough that they tease me because of the way I look? Now, I am a coward and I need a girl to fight for me!” I huffed.

“SO?! Why do you care what they think?” she exclaimed.

“Because, they’ll never let me live it down! I hate you!” I blurted and immediately walked away.

“Wait, where are you going?” she called after me.

I ignored her and continued walking.

“Just let him be. He’s being childish,” I heard hyung say to Ssul.

Neither of them came after me.

I was mad at Ssul because she had made me look like a wimp. It was humiliating and my pride was hurt. The bullies would be sure to tell everyone they knew about it. How was I supposed to show my face in school again?

I took a long walk on my own since neither of them followed me. I was actually a little disappointed and the fact that hyung took Ssul’s side made me even more livid. Why couldn’t they understand why I’m angry? How would they feel if it was them?

When I finally got home, a few hours had past. I walked in the door to find my mother and Ssul waiting for me.

“Where have you been? Your friends told me that you just left without a word. I was worried sick! Don’t every do that again,” mom scolded but still giving me a hug.

“I’m sorry mom, I just needed to clear my head,” I apologized. I pulled myself away not wanting her to baby me in front of Ssul.

“I don’t know what happened but we’ll talk about this later. Sulli’s been waiting here for hours,” mom said as she walked off while giving me a stern look.

I turned to Ssul who was looking at me with an annoyed expression.

She walked towards me and punched me in the shoulder. “You jerk! You just yelled at me for nothing and you run off without a word. I was worried something might have happened to you…” she said her voice slightly shaky.

I winced and rubbed my shoulder. “What do you mean yelled at you for nothing. You embarrassed me in front of them Ssul. You know they’re going to tell everyone. Everyone’s going to laugh at me!” I replied with frustration.

“Is it really that big of a deal? What does it matter what others think of you? I know the real you, so does AJ oppa and so do all your friends. Do our opinions mean less?”

I knew she had a point but I was too angry to admit it. “Tch! You’re saying that now but if you were in my shoes, you’d be embarrassed too. Do you know what it’s like to always be judged by the way you look?”

She walks away without saying anything. When she returned she had a pair of scissors in her hands.

I suddenly got scared. “Wha… what are you doing Ssul…? Noona…?” I stammered.

She walked towards me slowly, still silent. She stopped right in front of me.

I leaned back, not knowing what she was going to do.

“I don’t care what people think of my appearance. I’ll show you.” Without even any hesitation, she grabbed a chunk of her hair and cut it off.

I gasped. “Ssul, why did you do that?”

“If it doesn’t matter if people laugh at me then you shouldn’t be embarrassed either!” she said firmly. She handed me the scissors and walked out the door.

I just stood there, dumbfounded, just staring at the scissors in my hands.

I felt really guilty about what had happened. The next time I saw her she had her hair cut; her already short hair was even shorter now and extremely uneven where she had cut it herself. It looked weird. I apologized profusely about my behavior which led to that. She told me that it didn’t matter, that it was just hair, it would grow back but I knew, on the inside, it bothered her.

I decided that I wanted to show her how truly sorry I was so I cut my hair short as well. The shortest I’ve ever had it since I could remember. When she saw me with my new hair cut, she gave me a hug. She knew how important my long hair was to me so she knew that I must have been very sorry. When AJ hyung found out what had happened to us, he just laughed at us for being a pair of idiots.

It took a few months for Ssul’s hair to grow back out but mine took even longer. It must have been over a year before it got back to a length I preferred.

“You’re hair finally grew back out…” she said to me one day, out of the blue.

We probably both thought back on the incident because we burst out laughing at the same time.

“Yeah, it took awhile didn’t it?” I replied as I fiddled with my hair.

She ran her fingers through my hair which sent shivers throughout my body.

“Jjungie…?” she said softly.

“Y-yeah noona?” I stuttered.

“I like your hair this way better,” she replied still playing with my hair. “Don’t ever change okay, my Jjung. I like you just the way you are…”