Jjung and Ssul: Age 17

After school that day, I sped out of class as quickly as I could. I was supposed to meet up with Suz but I made up an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to go home and rest. She was a little disappointed but I told her I would make it up to her. Actually, I really wasn’t feeling well. My heart ached so badly; like someone was stepping on it or crushing it with a stone. Why am I being like this? I’m with Suz now, I shouldn’t be like this!

I didn’t want to go home just yet in case I bumped into Ssul and AJ hyung together. So I just wandered around town aimlessly. Even as I was walking, tears began streaming down my face. I looked like a crazy person. Everyone I passed by stared at me but I was too caught up in my own heartache to care. Who cares if these people think I’m crazy… I AM crazy… and the reason why I was crazy was Choi Sulli! Why? Why is it of all people, it had to be hyung? And why of all people did it have to be her?! Why… why… WHY?!?! At least if it was just some other guy I could have just hated him and I didn’t have to care about it. But no! It had to be my best friend… and my first love! Why not just rip out my heart now and save me this agony! I cried harder and harder, and finally I cried so hard I couldn’t cry anymore, so I just headed home.

As I was approaching home, I made sure to wipe my eyes dry. I didn’t want my parents to be concerned about why I, a grown teenage boy, was crying my eyes out. I was so pathetic. I immediately locked myself in my room and didn’t even come out for dinner. Why would I? I wasn’t hungry. I was so numb. I just told my parents that I had a lot of homework and that I wasn’t hungry…

“Soojung-ah… are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” my mother asked through the door.

“Yes, I’m sure mom!” I replied.

“Why don’t I just make you a plate and then you can decide if you want to eat or not, okay?” she insisted. It was typical of my mother. She was always concerned about me not eating enough. She thought I was too scrawny.

I sighed. “Fine, mom. I’ll come get it myself.” I knew that she would have just kept nagging me if I didn’t agree. There was no fighting her.

I went out to the dining room to get some food. Just then, the door bell buzzed.

“Jjung-ah, could you get that?”

“Sure mom…”

I opened the door and standing there was Ssul. I tried to close the door immediately but she managed to slip her hand between the door and it clipped her hand instead.

“Owww!” she yelled.

Oh crap! I quickly opened the door again. “Ohmigod! I’m so sorry! Why did you do that babo?!”

She was shaking the pain off of her hand and I could see that it was red. Without even a thought, I grabbed her hand and started rubbing it between mine. Her hand was so soft and delicate; it was unimaginable that I had just slammed the door on it.

I was still rubbing it when she yanked it away from me. “I-I’m fine. I guess I deserved that…”

“Don’t say that! You don’t deserve to be hurt in any way!” I barked. How could she think so little of herself? No matter what, she was still precious to me.

I could see that she was averting my eyes. She just stared at her feet. “Anyway… can I come in for a moment? We need to talk… I need to explain…”

The moment she said that my mind became clear again; I was still mad at her. “You don’t have to explain. This doesn’t concern me…”

“Please Jjung, I owe you this much. You should at least hear me out.”

From the moment I met her until now, I couldn’t refuse her. “Fine.”

She entered and saw my parents at the dining room. “Hi eomeoni, ahbeoji. Sorry to disturb you. I have something important I need to speak to Jjung about,” she bowed. She had gotten used to calling my parents that since we had been so close for so many years.

“Oh, Sulli-ah. That’s alright. Soojung wasn’t going to eat with us anyway. Do you want to join us?” my mother asked. She was always very fond of Ssul because she had always wanted a daughter.

“That’s alright eomeoni. I’m just going to have a quick chat and then head home,” she smiled politely.

“Mom, we’ll be in my room okay?” I told my mother.

“Sure, Jjungie. Just let us know if you need anything.”

I gave her an annoyed look. I wished my mother wouldn’t baby me in front of my friends especially Ssul.

We headed to my room and I closed the door behind me. “So?”

“I know that you and Luna unni are very upset about AJ oppa and I getting together and you have every right to be. We sprang the news on you without any warning,” she started to explain.

I thought about how that wasn’t actually true. Hyung had warned me ahead of time but I just brushed it off as something impossible. “Actually… that’s not exactly true. Hyung told me before hand that he was going to ask you out. To tell the truth I didn’t think you would say yes. I didn’t think you liked him as more than a friend.”

She thought for a second. “Well, sometimes it’s the person right in front of you… I’m sure you can understand that…” she said as she looked directly at me. For a second it was as if she saw right into my soul.

She didn’t even know how true that was for me. It was like a nail to my heart. “So I guess you finally got your chance with the guy you like…”

“What do you mean?”

“The guy you were talking about… the one you said you liked… That’s AJ hyung right? I guess you didn’t miss you chance after all…”

“I guess so… Look I know that you and AJ oppa are like real brothers. I don’t want you to think that I’m stealing him from you. I promise that he will still be your AJ hyung and you will always be my most precious dongsaeng.”

He’s not the one I care about! I’m afraid of losing YOU! Not him!

“I won’t force you to accept us but I hope you will. I hope you can be happy for us,” she continued.

“And what if I can’t? What if I won’t?”

“I know you my Jjung… You’ll do the right thing,” she concluded and left.

I thought about what she had said the entire night. I was still unable to accept the fact that they are a couple. Nevertheless, they were my best friends and I wanted them to be happy.

The next morning I headed to school early so I could catch them both.

As I had expected, they came to school together again that day which was good for me since it meant I could give them both my response together.

“Oh Jjung… You’re here…” said Ssul when she saw me.

I looked AJ hyung straight in the eye. “Whether or not you’re my hyung… If you EVER hurt her… even once… You’re dead meat!” I warned him.

He gave me a smile and nodded.

Ssul bid goodbye to hyung as he left.

Ssul then linked her arm around mine and rested her head on my shoulder. Just for a moment, it felt like the old Jjung and Ssul again.

“See… I knew you’d do the right thing…”

I hate that you know me so well… I sighed. Well, if it had to be someone, at least I knew that hyung would be good to her…