Ssul and Luna: Age 18/19

(Ssul’s POV)

I wanted to go after Jjung really bad but I couldn’t. AJ oppa was in really bad shape; it was more important that I got him home. I felt guilty that were tending to AJ oppa and Jjung was all alone. Luna and I took AJ oppa home. She apologized profusely about what had happened and then she broke into tears.

“Ssul, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause all this. I was just jealous of you and oppa. I just needed to know if he had any feelings for me at all…” she sobbed.

“What are you talking about unni?” I asked when what she said made no sense.

“We were just pretending to be dating. I made Jjung do it so I could find out how oppa felt. I didn’t think that things would turn out like this,” she confessed out of guilt.

“S-So you and Jjung aren’t…?”

“No, I begged him to help me…”

“S-So… he’s still with Suzy?”

“No, that part was true… They broke up after the play…”

So… Jjung isn’t with Suzy or Luna?!

“Unni… I have something I need to tell you…”

“What is it Ssul?”

“I-I’m breaking up with AJ oppa…”

“Is it because of me? I’m sorry Ssul. It was wrong of me. I don’t want to be the cause for you two breaking up...”

“No, it’s not because of you. Oppa and I are just not right for each other. When he sobers up, I think you two should talk this out. I know he has feelings for you…” I told her. It was time to stop all these foolishness.

I went home but I decided to check and see if Jjung was okay first. Oddly, there was no one home or at least no one was answering the door. I figured that he just didn’t want to talk to me. I came home to my mother waiting for me. She looked worried.

“What’s wrong umma?” I asked.

“Ssul… something happened…” umma said as she gestured for me to sit down.

“Happened? What happened?”

“It’s Jjung… He’s in the hospital. He’s injured really badly.”

My heart stopped. What?! How?! Why?! It didn’t make sense, I just saw him an hour ago…

“Umma, can you take me to the hospital? I need to see him!”

We rushed to the hospital where Jjung was. It was bad. His face was really beaten up. He had cuts and bruises all over, 3 cracked ribs and a broken arm. I don’t understand… How did this happen? I looked at him and tears started rolling down my cheeks. It tore my heart into pieces seeing him in this state.

I turned to Jjung’s mother. “Eomeoni, what happened?”

“He got into a fight with a group of boys on his way home. Why did he leave alone? Did something happen at the party?” she asked.

This is all my fault! I should have gone after him. He’s hurt because of me. I started to cry really hard. I didn’t know how to explain to eomeoni that her son was like this because of me.

Seeing me cry so hard, she wrapped her arms around me and comforted me. “It’s okay Sulli-ah. The doctor said that Soojung will be alright. It looks really bad but the doctor said that none of the injuries are permanent. We’re lucky… Don’t cry… we just need to wait for him to wake up.”

I felt even guiltier. It must be difficult seeing her son hurt but she was still able to comfort me. I called Luna unni to tell her what had happened. She also broke down hearing the news and blamed herself for forcing him to go along with her plan. I tried calling AJ oppa but he was out for the night. I told umma to go home without me. I wanted to stay at the hospital. I advised Jjung’s parents to go home so they could rest and that I would call them if anything changed. They reluctantly agreed.

I sat by his bedside the entire night and held his hand.

“Jjung! I’m sorry. I did this… Please wake up soon…”

Even as he slept, his expression looked like he was in torment. I couldn’t bear to look at him. I brushed his hair away from his face and buried my face into his hand that I was holding. I slowly drifted to sleep…

(Flashback...)

Ssul and AJ: Age 17/19

I couldn’t believe that Jjung was with Suzy. I had waited too long to tell him how I felt and now he’s with someone else. I guess that was why he kept sneaking away during lunch time. They must have been seeing each other for awhile. My heart was broken. My first love had slipped through my hands. Jjung seemed so happy when he was with Suzy. It was difficult seeing them together but I had to be happy for Jjung. For the first time in awhile, he actually seemed really happy. There were even a few times when I saw his ever so elusive smile. I loved it when Jjung smiled. As long as he was happy, I was happy for him.

For some reason, AJ oppa seemed to have had a more difficult time accepting Suzy than I was. Maybe he was just being an overprotective hyung. He came to me one day asking how I felt about Jjung’s relationship with Suzy.

“So how do you feel about Jjung being with Suzy? You seem to be taking it well,” oppa said.

If only you knew… “Why wouldn’t I be? He seems to be happy…” I replied trying to hide my true feelings.

“Hmmm… maybe. I’m not convinced yet,” he stated.

I thought that that was a weird thing to say. After all, I knew Jjung just as well as he did.

“Ssul, if I asked you to go out with me… would you?” he continued.

“Huh? Why would you want to ask me out?” What a silly question.

“What if I told you that I’ve had a crush on you for awhile now?”

“Eiii… stop joking oppa!”

He sighed. “I had to try… I guess I really have no chance with you.”

I looked at him, incredulous. “What are you talking about oppa? You’re acting strange…”

“I never told you but… I did really have a crush on you for awhile. Don’t worry I’m over it now…”

I laughed. I thought he was still joking. “Oh so you gave up on me so easily… That makes me feel good about myself.”

“Well, I knew that you liked Jjung so I had no chance in the first place. It wasn’t easy getting over you…”

I stopped laughing. It wasn’t funny anymore. I started to sound so real. My tongue was tied.

“You really like him don’t you?” I asked when I didn’t say anything.

“H-How did you know?”

“How long have I known you? It’s obvious…”

“Maybe it’s obvious to you… I’ve been trying to make Jjung realize that for so long but he just doesn’t seem to get the hint.” It felt good to be able to talk to someone about this. I had been keeping it inside for so long it was starting to eat me alive.

“Hey, just because I’m over you now doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt when you talk about him like that.” This time he was actually joking.

I giggled. “Sorry oppa. So I guess the secret’s out. And as for the question you asked earlier… well it hurts so much to see Jjung and Suzy together. I’ve lost him…”

“Like I said, I’m not convinced. It just doesn’t make sense… I was so sure he liked you…” he blurted.

“What was that?! Jjung doesn’t like me…” I exclaimed in shock.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? Man, you two are the blindest and most oblivious people I’ve ever known. You two can’t even see that you like each other when it’s so blatantly obvious?!” he huffed in frustration.

Jjung likes me? He likes me? Since when? How have I not known about this? “H-How sure are you oppa?

He nodded. “I was pretty sure…”

“I guess he doesn’t feel that way anymore…”

“No. I know Jjung… It has to be something else…” he paused. “Do you want to find out if he still likes you?”

“H-How?”

“Pretend to go out with me. If he gets jealous, you’ll know.”

“I don’t think it’ll work. He won’t believe that we’re together.”

“Trust me… he will.”

When we lied to Jjung and Luna unni that we were going out, unni flipped out and refused to talk to us. Jjung on the other hand gave us a less dramatic reaction but it seemed like he wasn’t fond of the idea either.

I was worried about unni so I asked AJ oppa to cue her in on our plan but he refused.

“No. It has to be convincing. No one else can know. Not even Luna.”

That night I went to talk to Jjung privately. I knew he was too good a guy to stay mad at AJ oppa and me. So we decided that we had no choice but to stick with the charade for awhile to force him to reveal his true feelings.

Ssul and AJ: Age 18/20

Then the play happened. I overheard his conversation with Suzy that he was against the kiss scene between AJ oppa and me. I was convinced he was jealous. But then something unexpected happened; oppa kissed Luna unni. It threw everything out of control. Jjung got really mad at AJ oppa and nearly got in a fight. I stopped him but it made him angry at me and I couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Oppa…! Why did you do that? That wasn’t the plan… Everything is now getting out of hand. We were just getting along with Luna unni again but now both she and Jjung are mad at us,” I barked at AJ oppa after dragging him away from Jjung.

“I-I’m sorry Ssul. I don’t know what came over me. Being around Luna again made me realize how much I missed her when she wasn’t around. I meant to kiss her on the cheek like I was supposed to but… but… I couldn’t help myself… I… I think I like Luna!” he realized.

I was mad at him but what he said was just too sweet. I had always hoped that those two would find a way to be together. And he thinks I’m oblivious…

“Oppa, why don’t you just tell her? I think it’s about time we stopped this charade anyway…” I told him.

“I will… But I don’t think it’s the right time…”

“Oppa, this is how Jjung and I got into this state. You should tell her while you still can!”

“You’re right… I just don’t know how. She doesn’t want to talk to me anymore…”

I felt bad for him. He and Luna unni were graduating so I wasn’t sure how they would figure this out. I tried to contact Jjung during the break but he didn’t want to talk to me. I tried going over to his place but he refused to see me. I decided to leave him alone for awhile. When school started again, I would tell him everything then. I had decided.

AJ oppa knew that Jjung wasn’t speaking to me so we would meet up once every few days during the break. He invited me to his classmate’s party because he needed some company. I agreed since I really had nothing better to do. That night, I was surprised that Jjung showed up with Luna unni. It was unexpected. When they said they were dating it felt so surreal. I couldn’t believe it but apparently AJ oppa could. When he saw them together, jealousy took over him. He drank too much and got drunk. I had never seen him like that before. He started getting really handsy, probably in an attempt to try and make Luna unni jealous but it made me uncomfortable. I was trying to figure out how I could talk to Jjung alone and tell him the whole truth but then the incident happened. We found AJ oppa trying to kiss Luna unni. Jjung thought that I was still with AJ oppa and was being protective but I couldn’t just let him beat up AJ oppa especially not when he was drunk and basically unconscious. So instead I had to protect AJ oppa which caused Jjung to run off on his own.

(End of flashback…)

When I woke up early next morning, Jjung was still unconscious. Looking at him again, I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing once again. I was still holding his hand so I pulled it to my face and leaned it against my cheek. I miss you so much Jjung. I miss the old Jjung and Ssul. I don’t know when exactly it was that we started drifting apart… Maybe it was all part of growing up but I just want you to be my Jjung again…

“Jjung… Jjung… can you hear me? It’s me, Ssul. Your Ssul. Please wake up… I miss you…”

My tears streamed down his hand that I held to my cheek. Then I felt his hand grip mine.

“Ss… Ssu… Ss-Ssull…” he uttered as he regain consciousness…