DARA

We were lying on his bed. I was using his chest for a pillow, listening to the beating of his heart. His arm was draped over me while his other hand was busy playing with the locks of my hair.

I was still a little heady from our kiss turned make-out session. He’s been pushy these days and I can’t blame him. I was going to ask him to do something for me again so I gave in. Besides I enjoyed it too.

“Will you do me a favour?” I asked tentatively.

“Sure, what is it?” he asked.

“Will you go out with my friend to the dance?” I said. His heart seemed to have stopped beating at the time and I felt him stiffen. He pushed me away from him, turning his back on me.

“I don’t want to. Do you really want me to be with her?” he asked.

“Of course not, but I don’t want her to get hurt. I’m waiting for the right time to tell her.” I said.

He turned towards me to face me. “Promise me this, you will never ask me again to date another girl.  I’m just like any other guy. I don’t want my feelings for you to get confused. I don’t want to like another girl.” he said looking serious.

“I don’t mind. I’m not the jealous type, not when it comes to her anyway. Besides it’s just pretend right?” I was waiting for his reply, wanting him to reassure me.

“Well you should be. Do you think I don’t feel bad knowing I’m cheating on 2 girls? Sometimes I don’t know whether it’s pretend anymore. She’s a really nice girl and it’s not that hard to like her when my own girlfriend is all icy.” He said angrily.

“Are you starting to like her more than me?” I asked, steeling myself for his answer.

“Sometimes” he said, looking away from me.

“Do you wish you were with her instead of me?” I asked again, waiting for his answer.

“No. But if you keep on pushing me to her, I’m afraid of what will happen.” He said.

“Thanks for being honest with me. I promise to do everything I can to prevent that from happening” I said as I stared into his dark eyes, wanting him to believe me. Of course I don’t want to lose him to her.

He hugged me close pressing my face to his chest.

“I love you vanilla” he whispered.

I felt reassured with his words and with the beating of his heart. He always called me vanilla.

This is my secret to keep. My boyfriend is Kwon Jiyong and I’ve been asking him to date my bestfriend, Bom.

Bom announced dibs on Ji before I could tell her about him so I kept quiet hiding our relationship. I didn’t think it was a bad idea at first. I was hoping Bom will get over him and realize it was just an infatuation.

But I’m now going to put a stop to it. I don’t ever want to lose Ji and I don’t want to hurt Bom more than necessary.

I did not know then that I spoke too soon about my promise.