DARA

Weeks dragged on.

Ji tried to remain civil to me in front of Bom as I was to him. But the hurt feeling never goes away especially as I see the two of them being sweet with each other.

I would see him smile at her, the smile that used to belong to me; hold her hands the way he held mine; whisper sweet nothings to her and call her corn muffin.

I don’t think Ji is doing it to spite me and I don’t think he is faking it anymore. And that is what’s been eating me.

We were a month away from graduation. I was surprised how time flew fast. I kept my head concentrated in my studies wanting to finish 1^st this year. If I couldn’t be with Ji at least I could settle for this.

I was also feeling anxious, I know time has been passing by for Bom, I wonder whether she has told Ji yet.

Bom and I were hanging out at her room, studying for the finals. She told me she was unable to study much because Ji was keeping her distracted and her headaches have been coming frequently again.

“Is that alright? I mean, shouldn’t you see your doctor?” I asked.

“I’m already scheduled to see him tomorrow.” She answered back

“How about Ji? Have you told him yet?” I asked again.

“That’s my problem actually. I tried many times and I just couldn’t” she said, a frown marring her face.

“Why? Don’t you think he has the right to know?” I queried.

“I do. But I love him so much that I don’t want to hurt him” Bom said, this time she was crying.

I hugged Bom, patting her back, comforting her the way I always did. It’s just she doesn’t know I need someone to comfort me too because inside I was crying.

I was about to go home when Bom complained of a severe headache.

“AAAAAH!!!! My head hurts!!!” Bom was shouting, holding her head and pulling her hair.

“What should I do?!” I asked, getting panicked by the second.

“It hurts!!! AAAAAH!!! Pleas make it st— She did not finish what she had to say.

Bom collapsed.

I accompanied her Mom and rushed her to the hospital, her breathing was fast and shallow and her pulse was racing. We were so scared thinking the worse.

She was immediately attended by her doctor at the emergency room. He reassured us that her vital signs were already getting stable. But to be sure, they were going to do tests and another cranial scan.

Her dad came later, when her mom informed him. We were all anxiously waiting for Bom to wake up.

She regained consciousness an hour after. She looked a little pallid but she smiled when she saw us. The doctor performed a neurologic exam and said they were normal.

We were all waiting for the results. I was getting a little impatient, just then her doctor returned.

From his looks, I could already guess what he was about to say. You get to hate doctors when they tell you the bad news.

Results showed that it was a centimetre bigger than before. Just a centimetre but it could mean life and death for her.

The doctor advised that she undergo surgery as soon as possible, otherwise it could be too late and she may never wake up the next time. However, the chances of a successful outcome would be about 10%, as the operation would be technically difficult. She could live and have some neurologic deficit, the other 90% she’d end up in coma or worse dead.

Bom pondered for a while. I saw her in deep thought before she said she wanted the surgery. She said she wanted it done after graduation.

Her parents tried to convince her otherwise. Just like any parent, they were afraid and protective of their daughter.

Bom was adamant however. She said that a 10% chance is better than waiting doing nothing.

I was silent all this while.  If put in her position, I wouldn’t know which to choose: A 10% chance to live but a 90% chance to also die faster or waiting for death to come slowly?

I never liked the odds.

In the end, her parents gave in. They love Bom too much, allowing her to decide for herself. How could they refuse her the 10% she’s got?

Before we left the hospital, Bom asked me a favour.

“I don’t have the heart to do this. And I know I’m imposing a very big favour on you. But please will you tell Ji for me?”