DARA

It’s been 15 years since the year that changed my life happened.

I still have the picture of us three hanging in my clinic. Yes, who knew that I’d become a doctor?

I just finished a long surgery and was about to head home. As soon as I got outside the hospital glassdoors, I was greeted by the sweltering heat.

It was summer again, and I couldn’t help but smile.

Outside by the parking lot, I saw two people I loved the most waiting for me.

Ji was with Bom. He was holding her hand looking at her lovingly as she ate corn. Well, seems like nothing changed.

I waved to them as I got outside, and they smiled at me. Bom was excitedly waving her hand.

Seeing her happily waving at me, I recall the image of Bommie 15 years ago just before she had her surgery.

Flashback

From behind the OR door, I saw my last glimpse of Bom, smiling and waving at us as she mouthed “I love you”.

“I missed you Mommy!” Bom said, embracing me as she reached me.

I patted my daughter lovingly on the head. “I missed you too baby.”

“Look! I got a star in class!” she said as she showed me her hand marked with a star.

“Very Good! How about we celebrate and get ice cream later?”

“Yehey! You’re the best Mom!” she said.

“Mom says I’m getting ice cream Dad!” she shouted at her dad as she scampered off running happily.

Ji came just after her, watching the two of us from afar with a contented smile on his face.

“You’re spoiling her” Ji argued good-naturedly.

“Yeah but she deserves a reward for doing well. Our daughter is growing up smart” I said. “And hey, is that how you greet your wife?” I .

“I missed you and I love you, vanilla” he said as he hugged me before burrying his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. Well nothing’s changed about him.

“I missed you and I love you too, Ji” I said.

Slowly, he disentangled from me and I was able to stare into his dark eyes, the feeling of getting lost in them never growing old. Well nothing’s changed about that.

And as always, Ji leaned in and kissed me. Definitely, nothing’s changed.

Flashback

Bom did not come out from the surgery.

Her parents were heartbroken but they knew it was what she wanted, even with knowing the risk.

Ji and I were heartbroken as well. He lost a girlfriend. I lost my bestfriend and sister.

Bom had told her parents she wanted to have a short funeral and be cremated. She requested that her ashes be spread out on the sea.

Her whole family, my parents, me and Ji were aboard a yacht watching her ashes mix with the wind and fall among the waves.

So it’s over, this is how it ends. Bom is free. I hoped she’d be happy in heaven, hoping they were serving corn there.

I laughed a little then I felt myself tear up. Mentally asking for Bom’s forgiveness for breaking my promise not to cry.

What will I do now without her?

I felt someone reach for my hand. It was Ji’s. I looked at his still figure silently grieving and squeezed his hand back.

I looked back at the vast open sea. Knowing that Bom was somehow a part of it, I felt a little of the sadness ebb away.

I wondered whether life restores balance this way. And whether in this moment, it was being fair or unfair.

I’m thankful of everything that has happened in my life so far.

I still miss my bestfriend, my sister, Bom but I have my little angel with me that I have named after her.

I have my prince, Ji whom I’ve been married for 10 years now, and who has never failed to make me fall in love with him more every single day.

As for me, I have retired from being an ice princess. Although I still don’t cry that much except when I remember Bom.

I have tried to live my life with as much love for life and love as Bom did in the last days of her life.

And I have never regretted what I did 15 years ago.

The hurt and pain was all worth it.

It has taught me the value of life, friendship and most of all love.

So now, I’m ending our story knowing that there’s still something I haven’t told you.