that xx 

By Arden Cho ft. Kwon Jiyong

7 months later

"Sohee-ah, just because PD-nim is letting you take a break from your career because of what happened 7 months ago, doesn't mean you can just sit around your villa doing nothing. This is unhealthy. You need to be out doing things." Yubin said to me over the phone.

I want to get out, I really do. I want to change myself for the better and not be stuck in this little rut that i put myself in 7 months ago, but I cant. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. When you have a million things running through your head, and things that you're feeling at the same time, everything just crashes down on your shoulders. That's how I feel. I feel like theres this heavy weight, this depression, that's weighing on my back and I don't know what to do to get rid of it. Ever since my dad died and that incident in the hospital with Jiyong occured, I've been carrying this weight with me wherever I go. It follows me everywhere, and it won't leave me alone. It's in my nightmares, I see it everytime I close my close, everytime I go out for a walk. It's discerning, like I don't want to be reminded of Jiyong everyday and what we used to have and everything before that.

I moved to Tokyo, Japan several months ago. Just into a villa secluded from the city where I would be surrounded by quiet and nature and all things peaceful. Because that's just what I need. Peace. Quiet. Nothing has ever been peaceful in the last 7 months. Being attacked by paparazzi, scandals and everything being shot at me. It's not the life I wanted to live, so I left. Not really. I'm just taking a break to calm myself , get rid of the anxiety building up in me.

"Unnie, really. I'm trying. I've been taking walks. Walking around Tokyo and shopping. You don't need to worry about me okay. I'm going out today. Seulongie is taking me shopping." I said to her.

"Yah, okay. You better be going out more. If I hear from Seulong that you aren't, I will book the soonest flight over there and drag you out myself." She warned.

I laughed a little bit and told her not to worry because I was in good hands. We hung up on each other and I knew that she would call back later, asking even more of the same questions that she's been asking for the past 7 months.

As soon as I put my cell phone down, I heard the doorbell ring. I walked over to the front door and opened it to see Seulong standing there with his sunglasses on, holding 2 cups of Starbucks. An Iced Raspberry Caramel Macchiato for him and an Iced Green Tea Latte with Caramel for me.

"Ready to go?" He asked and I nodded.

I grabbed my bag and sunglasses from the couch and followed him to his black Scion FR-S. While he drove, I just sat shotgun and stared at my Starbucks. He noticed my silence and coughed.

"Still hung over Jiyong, huh?" He asks, not even bothering to consider how surprised I would be.

I scramble my brain for an answer that would satisfy him and at the same time satisfy me. I end up not finding out so I start stuttering.

"I, uh. I-um, Y-yeah." I say, ashamed.

He moved his hands over mine in a reassuring action.

"It's ok, Sohee. I'm your best friend, right?" He asks, to which I nod.

"So then tell me about it. Your problems. I won't judge you. I never will, okay? Just tell me what's bothering you." He says.

I don't know how to reply. I looked out of the window to see that we were entering the metro Tokyo, with people sporting different kinds of style.

"It's just-I uh- I don't know how to-" But before I could finish, I see something that catches my eye. Then I realize that it's not something, but someone. I squint my eyes to look closer and then I see. It's her. And she's with someone else.

"Sohee?" My thoughts were interrupted.

"Huh? Oh, um. Let's get off here. I want to get something from Jeremy Scott." I tell him.

Then I tell myself that maybe, I was getting confused and I had mistake