sorry

by Wonder Girls
Ft. Big Bang's Kwon Jiyong

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June 2008

I was the one who coldly left you, saying that it’s the end

”Jiyong, we can’t do this anymore. We’re going to America in a few days, and we’ll be living there for who knows how long. We can’t keep up with this relationship.” Sohee mumbled, as she looked at him with blank eyes.

He stood in front of her, dressed in a black Chanel hoodie and grey jeans. His hood covered his face, his emotions. He was quiet for a moment before managing to croak out a simple ‘but..’

It broke Sohee’s heart, but she had to do this.

“You know we won’t last with a long distance relationship.” She simply said.

Jiyong shuffled his feet, looking down at the pair of Jeremy Scott sneakers he bought for himself and for her. Sohee could hear him in a breath.

“Can’t we at least try? I just want to be with you. I don’t want to do this, I love you.” He says with a quivering voice.

Jiyong looks up and sees her, face covered in a black cat-eared hood. She was wearing skinny jeans and the same Jeremy Scott shoes. She has no make up on and she’s beautiful. She’s gorgeous. She’s a goddess. He can see her eyes glint and he knows that she wants to cry but she won’t.

He locks eyes with her and suddenly, he just wants the world to stop. He wants time to stop, because he doesn’t want to let her go.

“I love you, can’t you see that? I love you, and I can’t be with anyone but you. You’re everything to me!” He raises his voice, but the anxiety and fear is still there.

Sohee takes his hand and rubs circle on his palm with her thumb, trying to get him to calm down.

“It’s probably only for a few years. I’ll come back, I promise. If we still have these feelings, we’ll come back to each other, okay? I’ll come back.” She assured him that this break was only temporary, but in her mind she knows it probably won’t be. She knows that this is their goodbye.

Jiyong can only nod before he pulls her into a tightening hug as his face is overrun with tears. Sohee rubs his back in a way that seems to ease his sobbing.

“It’s okay.” She says.

“It’s not.” He replies.

“Goodbye, Jiyong.” She holds his hand for a little bit longer before walking away and leaving him.

But these days, i think of only you, who loved me

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July 2009

“Sohee, are you coming with?” Sunye questions as she pokes her head into the maknae’s room.

She sees Sohee laying down, looking at her phone.

“Ani, you guys can go ahead. I’ll be here.” Sohee answers. Sunye leaves, but not before checking again on her one more time.

Sohee goes back to staring at the picture on her phone. It was a picture of them when he took her out for a birthday dinner. She looks at it in silence for a while, then throws it across the room, into her bean bag.

Why did I do it? Why does it bother me so much? I’m the one who left him, why do I still keep thinking about him?

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August 2009

I shouldn’t call you because you’ll be shaken again
I try to promise myself but it’s no use
Without knowing, I look for you again

Sohee walks over to her beanbag to pick up the wretched phone. Her lockscreen is still the same. A picture of them, during Christmas. She almost growls at the picture. She doesn’t know why she feels like thi