next chapter up!!!

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You look at Jonghyun in wonder as you look at his profile. He seemed so calm, and alluring. It was making your mind run wild while you sat there in his arms. You didn't want to move, but you knew soon you would have to.

"We're back!" Key says lively while walking into the dorm and seeing the three of you on the couch watching a movie. He also noticed that you had fallen asleep on Jonghyun. He looks at Jonghyun and gives him the thumbs up.

Jonghyun looks down at you and smiles widely. He didn't want this to ever end, he wanted you to stay over for as long as you wanted. But he knew you couldn't. At least you two would have alone time when he drove you to his house tomorrow. He was thinking of staying but was wondering how you would take it.

You open your eyes slightly and then close them again and fall into a deep sleep. You were getting worse, you could feel it, but you didn't want to tell anyone and make them worry. Especially not Jonghyun.

"When did she fall asleep?" Minho asks in question.

"Just recently. Maybe ten minutes before you came." Taemin explains going into the kitchen and getting chicken.

"Do you want some, Jonghyun?" Key asks. Jonghyun shakes his head and continues looking at your peaceful face. He remembered when you two used to sleep together when you were little. Sometimes you would have nightmares and would wake up crying. And he would always try and make you feel better and safe.

He feels your forehead and then notices how warm it was. Was she getting sick? He was about to say something when he noticed the tears streaming down your cheeks. 

He sighs and then carries you to his bedroom. Him and Minho shared a room so it wasn't as crowded as the other's room. Not that Taemin was really ever IN the room. He lays you on his bed and was about to leave when he heard you talking.

"Why'd you leave?" You say quietly.

'What's she dreaming about?' He thinks worriedly.

There was a long silence, and he thought you weren't going to talk again when you shot up out of bed and grabbed his arm. "I can't tell him! What if something happens? And he's all alone!" You say as if you were yelling at someone.

He stares at you. 'Who's she talking about?'

"I'm sorry...Jonghyun. I shouldn't have told you anything!"

"Huh?" He says in confusion. "Told me what?"

"I shouldn't have told you...."

"Told me what?"

"That I love you."

That was when you opened your eyes. "I shouldn't have told you." You say to him, the tears streaming down your cheeks. You look away from him and then begin coughing again.

“_______-ah, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” He asks you in worry. You nod and look at him again staring at him for an answer to what you just told him. Maybe you didn’t really say it and it was all just a dream...

You knew it wasn’t. You knew he heard you. Your heart started hurting. ‘Is this what it feels like to lose the thing you love?’ You think trying to hold back your tears as well as you possibly could.

He didn’t know if you realized you said it or not. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know whether to confess and tell you, but if you remembered you should already know. “Did you read all my letters?” He asks finally.

You look at him in confusion. You didn’t understand what he was trying to say. You scratched your head and then shook it. You never read the last one he sent you. That was the one you kept sealed away until you remembered Kim Jonghyun, the one who sent you them.

He looked down and then nodded. You look at him and then look down. He looked hurt. You didn’t understand why. But soon he left the room telling you to get some rest. You nodded, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep.

You sat there for a few moments trying not to cry. But you did, and it killed you. Soon you reached into the pocket of your sweater and felt something. ‘I didn’t put anything in here...’ You think in confusion. You take your hand out of your sweater and then see a letter addressed to you.

“What is this?” You ask yourself in confusion.

You shrug as you open it and begin reading it aloud to yourself...

“_____________,

Well, it looks like from your last letter that you’ll be coming back to Korea soon! You have to make sure that you come and see me right away :D

I have a lot to tell you, and I really can’t wait to see you so come soon!

I really miss you __________, and I realized..after you left my feelings were all mustered and I didn’t understand them well. But now I do. I finally realized my feelings towards you, and I really hope you feel the same way towards me.”

“I love you.” You heard a voice that made you jump out of Jonghyun’s bed and onto the floor.

You stare at the floor for a moment trying to register everything that just happened. Your heart was pounding. You didn’t want to look up at his face. ‘Was this a confession he made to me two YEARS ago?’ You think in shame. ‘And I never READ this!’

You felt like smacking yourself. You put your head in your hands and sit there crying. You sat there until you felt someone come and put their arms around you. You look up from shock and then stare into his eyes. They were so light today, and the look just made you smile slightly.

“Jonghyunnie-oppa! Mianhe! But, I love you too!” You tell him smiling wider.

He stares at you in shock. ‘Did she just confess?’ He thinks smiling to himself. You smile at his expression and then he takes your hand. “Took you long enough...” He jokes looking into your eyes.

You smirk at him and shrug. “I’ll try to take a shorter time next time.” You assure him chuckling.

As you two were sitting there on the floor with Jonghyun’s arms around you, you thought of something. What if tomorrow you didn’t remember this confession!? That’s worse then not remembering that last night you told him you remembered him!

He puts his finger under your chin and brings your face up to meet his. He smiles widely and then pecks you softly on the lips.

‘Is he teasing me? Like really? He gave me a peck and nothing else?’ You think giving him a look.

He chuckles at you and then kisses you again, only this time harder and with more passion. You smile to yourself and return the kiss. He your bottom lip asking for permission, which you gladly granted him.

He searched your whole mouth, making sure that none of it was left untouched. He deepened the kiss even more which made you nearly gasp in shock. The kiss, it was magical, and you were upset when it had to end.

You look at him and shake your head at him. “For a first kiss...that was horrible!” You tell him pouting.

“Heh? Mwuh? WAE!?” He asks in complete confusion.

“Well, I would’ve preferred the second kiss as our first kiss...”

“Oh, haha, I thought you meant...yeah nevermind!”

You begin laughing at his confused expression. You smile at him and then you stand and begin walking out of the room.

“Yah! Where are you going?” He asks you in confusion.

“Washroom.” You tell him obviously.

He looks at you for a moment as he watches your image. He noticed something strange. ‘Why is she swaying like that?’ He think in worry. He gets up and starts walking towards you as he notices Key’s expression when he saw you.

Key runs forwards and catches you as you fall. You stare at him in shock, you didn’t understand what was going on. You were fine just a moment ago, and now you were dizzy, and everything was spinning.

You look at Key as everything began sounding muffled. Why did you suddenly feel so tired? Your eyes begin closing as you feel sleep beginning to take you over.

“What happened!?” Key asks in complete shock.

“She was fine a second ago, it was when she stood! She was swaying, she told me before she was sick, but I didn’t realize she was THIS sick!” Jonghyun explains trying to control his emotions.

He was afraid, and he was VERY angry. He was angry at himself because he didn’t catch it. He knew you were sick, but he didn’t realize you were going to pass out! He didn’t know what to do.

“Hyung, calm down!” Taemin says putting his hands up in front of him. Everyone stares at Jonghyun in worry.

“We should take her somewhere where she can sleep.” Minho says nodding. They all exchange looks and look at you. Your eyes were wandering. You cough and then close your eyes.

“Maybe...we should take her to the hospital.” Key tells Jonghyun knowing.

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if you were sick, or dying. He wasn’t thinking straight. He collapses to his knees and puts his head in his hands. He could feel his tears coming.

You open your eyes and see him in this position. You attempt to get out of Key’s arms but you were too weak.

“Stop it.” You say softly, but only Key could hear you.

“Jonghyun, she’s telling you to stop crying.” Key tells him quietly.

Jonghyun looks up at him and then at you who was staring at him trying to talk to him. But your voice wouldn’t go loud enough, you couldn’t call out to him. You couldn’t comfort him.

You somehow get out of Key’s arms and slowly crawl over to Jonghyun. They all stare at you in shock. They couldn’t believe someone in the stare you were in, had the strength to crawl to the other side of the room just to comfort someone.

When you got over to him you put your arms around him. You kiss him on the cheek and sit in his lap and hold him. “I’m okay.” You whisper to him. You could feel everything starting to spin again. “On second thought...” You were saying until you go limp in his arms.

Jonghyun’s eyes widen in complete shock. He stares at Key who already had his phone out calling an ambulance.

The five of them were freaking out, they didn’t know what to do. When the ambulance got there they rushed you to the hospital. Jonghyun called your mother while sitting in the ambulance with you.

He was holding your hand, and even in your unconscious state, you could feel his touch. You felt calm.

“_________ MWUH?!” Your mother yells into her phone in shock.

Mr. Jung runs over to her in shock. She couldn’t believe her ears. She knew she shouldn’t have let you go. She knew she should’ve made you stay at home! She tries calming herself down and then listens to Jonghyun.

“We just got to the hospital. They’re taking her to get an MRI. They said her brain shut down and they don’t know the cause. But they said that it could be because of her condition.” Jonghyun tells her slowly.

“I’m coming.” Your mother tells him while hanging up the phone and going out to her car. She sped all the way to the hospital. She even ran a few red lights, but she didn’t care. You were in trouble, you were sick, and that was all she cared about.

When she got there she saw Jonghyun sitting in the waiting room. He got up when he saw your mother. She ran to him and asked him what was going on.

“They just took her in for the MRI. She woke up when she got here. They said it was better they did it now than later.” He tells her looking down.

She sighs as she sits down and puts her head in her hands. They waited there for an hour before they brought you back to your room.

You sit in your room looking around. You hated hospitals, and you really didn’t want to be here. You close you eyes and imagine you were back in the SHINee dorm with Jonghyun, and everyone else. You wanted to start crying. You didn’t like the feeling of being alone.

When you open your eyes you see your mother standing beside your bed. You smile at her and then close look out the window. “Looks like it’s worse than we thought.” You tell her slightly smiling.

Your mother felt tears coming down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away as she asked what you meant. You didn’t want to tell her. You shake your head and then sit up and look around.

“Jonghyun’s here, ________. He stayed with you the entire time.” Your mother tells you smiling.

You look over at him. He fell asleep. How were you supposed to tell everyone? “Umma, it looks like my dreams aren’t going to come true.” You tell her standing slowly. She looks at you in confusion and then understands that you were talking about becoming a songwriter. Even a singer if it was possible. But you now knew that it wasn’t.

“What do you mean?” She asks you in confusion.

“It’s much worse than we expected.”

“But I thought...you said you remembered Jonghyun!”

“I do. Actually, now I remember everything about him. But while I’ve been remembering him, I’ve forgotten everything else.”

“_________-ah, you mean...?”

“I don’t remember anything about living in the US. And I still don’t remember anything about my childhood except for things about Jonghyun.”

“What about Jessica?”

“I’ve also started forgetting about her.”

“How long?”

“...”

You didn’t know how to tell her. You started crying. Telling your mother you only had five more months instead of five YEARS to live would kill her. Your mother noticed the tears and knew something was VERY wrong. 

You shook your head at her. You tried to control your tears as much as you could, but it was over. You had no control anymore. All you felt was pain. “Five months.” You say very quietly. But your mother heard it, and she wasn’t the only one.

Jonghyun was standing in the doorway in shock. He felt his heart start pounding as he looked over at you. You look over and see his expression and knew right away. ‘He heard.’

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