yay chapter 11 :)

this chapter is going to be in your POV

its the only chapter that is going to be in your POV

i hope you like it and keep reading <3

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Your POV

 I wake up and stare around the room. The hospital room that I've been staying in for almost two weeks now. I was alone. Jonghyun must have gone somewhere... We never told anyone about our decision to get married. We will tell them...eventually. Probably when I get out of the hospital. 

 I tried remembering what he said to me yesterday. But I couldn't remember for the life of me. I rub my eyes and look at the clock. Five in the morning again?! This is the fifth day in a row now! I sigh in annoyance as I suddenly hear my blackberry beep as I got a text message. I reach over to it and check my BBM. It was from Key oppa's phone. 

 You awake yet? <3 - Jonghyun

 I feel a smile spread across my face. He didn't usually use Key oppa's phone...BBM's are free from one blackberry to another. OH I REMEMBER! They're in Japan... Oh...now I wish I was asleep again! I sigh pouting as I notice umma walking back from the washroom. I smile at her. She smiles back at me, but I could tell the smile was full of sadness. It wasn't fair, not to anyone. Especially not her. I was all she had left after appa passed away. 

 Oh, she's staying with me while Jonghyun oppa is away...that's right. At least we get to spend time together! "How are you feeling?" She asks me tiredly.

 "I'm alright. I haven't been able to sleep well lately though." I tell her looking at my phone as I got another text message. 

 I'm coming to see you today! - Jessica unnie :)

 Umma notices the look on my face after getting the text message. Jessica unnie came to see me once, and then she got really busy. So she promised she would come see me this week. I haven't been out of this hospital since I was admitted. I hated not going outside, and not to mention I was missing a lot of school! 

 School...? I graduated already.. I guess I'm already starting to forget. I hate this. This feeling inside me that's telling me to just kill myself now and get it over with. If I was going to die in five months, what's the difference in just dying now? I don't want to die, don't get me wrong! I just don't know how much more of this I'll be able to take. And the surgery...I don't know if I'll ever end up getting it. I know I should, but I don't want to do it yet!

 I go back to Jonghyun oppa's message and BBM him back. 

 I just got up. Five again on the dot >_< 

 I then go to Jessica unnie's text message and tell her I couldn't wait to see her. And then she told me that she was going to bring Tiffany unnie with her. YAY! I sigh as I stand up from my bed and slightly stumble. My mother looks at me wide eyed. She probably thought I was forgetting how to walk. No, I still remember how to walk! My legs are just asleep, which happens a lot now considering I'm like always laying down. 

 I walk to the washroom and look in the mirror. When did I lose so much weight? I look like I haven't been eating! But I have, I've been eating a lot! I put on make up to hide the dark circles under my eyes that just wouldn't go away. I see tears streaming down my face, I didn't even realize I started crying. I breathe deeply and dress in my clothes for the day. No, I don't wear that stupid hospital gown... they're annoying!

 It was only then that I noticed how much weight I really lost. My pants were too big on me, and my shirt...it was hanging on me like a balloon. Did everyone but me notice? Why didn't Jonghyun oppa tell me? Maybe he was worried I was going to freak. I walk out to my umma and she only stares at me worriedly. I go and sit on my bed again and sigh. 

 My phone started ringing then. I stare at it in confusion. Who'd be calling me so early in the morning? I look at the caller ID. Jonghyun oppa...  My umma smiles at me and then leaves the room, knowing I would want privacy. I answer the phone and sigh. 

 "Hello?" I say tiredly.

 "Yobo, what are you doing up so early again?" I hear Jonghyun oppa on the other line sounding worried.

 "I don't know." I tell him quietly.

 "Maybe...it's because I haven't been there when you're sleeping lately?" He says jokingly.

 "Probably." I say smiling widely.

 He wasn't able to stay overnight anymore. No one was. They made them leave and come back at five in the morning. Which is why my umma was here now. I miss him. I wish he wasn't so far away. I sigh, I was trying to make it so he couldn't hear it, but I knew he did. 

 I could hear him sigh as well. I then heard Key oppa start talking to him quickly. They seemed like they were all having a good time, which is a good thing! I just...wish I could've seen them off. I couldn't see them before they left because they were running tests on me again! 

 "When I get back, we should tell everyone." Jonghyun oppa tells me knowing.

 "OH ABOUT YOU TWO GETTING MARRIED!" I heard Key oppa in the background. I couldn't help but laugh. Of course he would tell him. Jonghyun oppa said some interesting things to him and then came back to talking to me. 

 "When are you coming back?" I ask quietly.

 "Next week sometime." He tells me sighing.

 So long...

 "Alright! I'll see you then!" I say trying to hide my disappointment. But of course, it didn't work on him. 

 "I'll call you tomorrow." He tells me comfortingly.

 I smile to myself and then we said our goodbyes and hung up. 

 "________ ah? What's wrong?" Umma asks in worry. 

 I look at her and smile sweetly. I shake my head at her and then look at the time. Jessica unnie is going to come in an hour. What should I do until then? I decided to watch TV to pass the time. Umma also decided to watch it with me. About two hours later Jessica unnie came with Tiffany unnie. I was excited.

 My umma left to let us have some fun and told me she would come back tomorrow. Tiffany unnie brought me cookies! Something good to eat finally! I was excited to spend time with them. It was amazing! They took me out to the mall and bought me new clothes! I was excited to tell Jonghyun oppa about it! I went to bed that night smiling. 

*****

 A week later I was sitting on my bed waiting for Jonghyun oppa, he said he would call me the second he got back. It's been two hours since he told me he was getting on the plane... It should be landing soon. Hopefully he'll be coming soon!

 I then suddenly got a text message twenty minutes later. I fell asleep and it shocked me. I fell off my bed. My umma gasps in shock as she runs into the room. "I'm okay, I just fell off the bed. My phone shocked me!" I assure her getting up and looking at my phone. It was Taemin. Hmm...

 Jonghyun hyung asked me to text you because his phone died! >_< We're going to be there in three minutes! :D

 I smile to myself happily and get dressed into the new light pink dress Jessica unnie bought for me. Umma was looking at me happily as she saw how excited I was to see them. I put a white bow in my hair and put on a black belt. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to see them all!

 As I sit on my bed I see shadows behind the door. I smile widely to myself as I see the door open. I stand as I see Key oppa and Taemin walk in first. No, I don't call Taemin 'oppa' because he is only three days older than me. I go and hug them tightly. I missed them all so much. I did the same with Onew oppa and Minho oppa. 

 Last to come in was Jonghyun oppa. We stare at each other for a moment and then I go and hug him tightly. He kisses the top of my head and smiles while embracing me tightly. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I was so happy to see them all again. Umma did nothing but stare. It was like she was thinking about something. She left quickly without a word. I look after her as she walks away. Jonghyun oppa and I stay in our hug for a little bit longer.

 "Did something happen?" Jonghyun oppa asks worriedly.

 "No, she was fine before." I say thoughtfully. "Do you think she somehow found out?" 

 "But wouldn't she be happy?" Key oppa asks in confusion.

 I shrug. I had no idea. If she did find out I think she'd be happy. At least I want her to be. I mean, this is something I want to do. So shouldn't she be happy for me? I look at Jonghyun oppa as does everyone else.

 "_______ ah, I don't think it's anything bad." Minho oppa assures me.

 "WHAT DID SHE FIND OUT!?" Onew oppa asks excited. I stare at him. I didn't think he got this excited over anything but chicken! I chuckle to myself and then look at Jonghyun oppa. He smiles at me and then wraps his arm around my waist. 

 "________ ah and I are getting married." Jonghyun oppa tells them smiling widely.

 Key oppa begins cheering, I'm pretty sure that what he did when he first found out too. Everyone had a smile on their face, everyone but my umma who was standing at the door. My heart started pounding. What was she going to say?

 "You're trying to take my daughter away from me?" Umma asks blankly.

 We all stare at her in complete shock. What was she talking about? How was he taking me away from her? It's not like I was never going to see her again... Key oppa was about to say something when my umma gave him a look to say nothing. She just stared at Jonghyun oppa, glaring at him. It made me uncomfortable. 

 Umma comes up to me and pulls me away from Jonghyun oppa. I stare at her in complete shock. I feel pain go through my arm. I shiver and Minho oppa was the only one who noticed. Everyone else was too shocked. I never thought my umma would do something like this! Minho oppa asks my umma to let go of me. I thought she was going to kill him.

 "All of you are against me?" She asks in horror.

 She let go of me, beginning to glare at me. What was happening? What was wrong with her? I could feel a bruise starting to form on my arm. I gasp in shock as my umma slaps me. "YAH!" Jonghyun oppa and Key oppa yell at her angrily. She stares at her hand in shock. I could feel the tears rolling down my face as I touch my stinging cheek. 

 I stumble backwards and Onew oppa catches me. She then stares at me, and she ran. My eyes widened. I tried to run forward to stop her, but instead I fell. I was in too much shock to do anything. I couldn't think. She hates me. "SHE HATES ME!" 

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