A hand gently his hair returned Kibum to the waking world again and he sighed contentedly, knowing the warmth of it very well.

“Good morning.” He mumbled and cracked his eyes open to dazedly look at Jonghyun who was sitting beside him, not really seeing him in the light that shone in through the window.

The other chuckled and bent down to press a soft kiss onto his lips. Kibum closed his eyes again and hummed appreciatively at the familiarity of it.

“It’s afternoon, silly.”  Jonghyun murmured against his lips.

He smiled and put his arms around Jonghyun's neck, pulling him closer not being able to bring himself to care about what had happened last night or that he had almost slept through an entire day when the other, who he hadn’t seen for almost a week, was there, kissing him.

“Okay, good afternoon then.” He corrected himself and pulled Jonghyun down for another kiss, which the other didn’t object to, slipping his arms around Kibum’s torso and pulling him closer.

“Why haven’t you told me anything?” Jonghyun whispered when they broke apart, staring at him with slightly sad eyes that shone brighter when there was blue and red skin surrounding them.

Kibum opened his mouth to reply but cut off.

Blue? Red?

He pushed Jonghyun off and sat up staring at the other’s face. One of his eyes was sporting a bluish, purple bruise and his cheek and parts of the rest of his face were angry red. There were also a few cuts here and there on his nose and cheekbone and it looked like he had been in a really bad fistfight.

“What have they done to you?” He gasped and cupped Jonghyun's face gently.

The other wrinkled his nose and winced slightly. “I got into a fight with my father and grandfather. They might both be over their forties but they certainly aren’t weak.”

Kibum examined his eye closely. “Have you put ointment or anything on it?”

Jonghyun shook his head and reached up to grab Kibum's hands. Kibum gasped again as he saw the bloody knuckles and Jonghyun tried to hide them behind his back. However, Kibum was quicker and he managed to grab both of his wrists, pulling his hands closer to his face.

“Did you hit them back?” He asked incredulously.

Jonghyun laughed darkly. “No, but they pushed me around so hard that I fell to the ground several times.”

Kibum looked up to his eyes again. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Jonghyun bit his lip hesitantly and Kibum narrowed his eyes.

“Where?”

“Well…” He said uncertainly. “My hip is bruised and I might’ve sprained my ankle.”

Kibum stared at him for a few seconds in silence before abruptly standing up, stomping over to the bathroom and rummaging around for band aids, bandages and cleaning solution for the wounds. When he re-entered the living room, Jonghyun was busy trying to keep a very cuddly Jin away from his hands. Kibum shooed the cat away and sat down beside the other, dumping everything in his hands onto his lap.

“Let’s get you treated.” He said determinedly.

Jonghyun just watched him silently and Kibum took that as a sign to continue whatever he was doing.

“Where is Sekyung, by the way?” He asked as he wet some cotton balls with cleaning liquid.

“She let me in just before leaving for school.” Jonghyun winced as Kibum started dabbing the wounds on his nose and cheeks.

“Oh.” He answered. He had completely forgotten that Sekyung still had another life that involved school, friends and family.

Jonghyun let his wounds be cleaned in silence, giving Kibum the concentration he needed until he started bandaging the other’s ankle up. It wasn’t much concentration for Kibum anyway as he was boiling inside, finding all possible ways to get revenge although he would never be able to fulfill his plans. But still, thinking about it made him feel a bit better.

“So… why haven’t you told me anything?” He asked again when Kibum pulled pout the bandage and he looked up at Jonghyun briefly.

“I…” He said and cleared his throat, “just didn’t want to worry you even more.”

“You think it would make me less worried this way?” Jonghyun asked in a low, hurt voice.

Kibum bit his lip and rolled the bandage around Jonghyun’s foot slower, prolonging the moment he had to look up at the other again. He really had nothing to say at the moment and he was afraid that Jonghyun was angry with him.

“Kibum, I…” Jonghyun let out a shaky sigh. “I love you. Even more than I think you know and I have no ide of how it became that way but I do. And I dare say you fully love me too, even though I know you still think about that other person.”

His head snapped up and he stared at Jonghyun guiltily. The other gave him a small, reassuring smile but Kibum was starting to feel his throat clam up at the sadness and uncertainty that was behind it.

How could something be so unfair?! Why couldn’t Jonghyun know exactly how much Kibum loved him back?

“J-Jonghyun, I h-have… to t-tell y-you something.” Kibum blurted out in a stutter before he could stop himself.

Jonghyun looked at him expectantly and he contemplated for a moment if it was such a good idea to tell the other anything at all after all.

He bit his lip, on the verge of tears. He had to explain. He needed to explain. He wanted Jonghyun to know how loved he actually was by him.

And suddenly the line that kept him strung up on the pretense that it was someone else he had been with, that everything that had happened a year ago had nothing to do with the present, snapped and the only thing left in its wake was a tsunami of words and feelings, all wanting to be spoken and felt at the same time. It wasn’t another man but Jonghyun himself that he always thought about and he needed Jonghyun to know that. To know exactly how much he meant to Kibum.

“You’re going to think I’m mental.” He whispered, his eyes staring unseeingly into the wall behind the other’s head.

Jonghyun moved his head a little to the side to try and catch Kibum’s gaze again.

“Try me.” He said gently.

Kibum looked at him with big, scared eyes. He had absolutely no idea of what would happen if he told Jonghyun everything but there was no going back now.

Jonghyun's gaze softened at the terrified expression on Kibum's face and he reached out to take Kibum's hand.

“We’ve already met.” He said quickly before he could change his mind. “I’m always comparing you to your old self.”

Jonghyun's hand faltered midway and fell back to his side as he stared at Kibum in bewilderment.

“Sorry? My old self from two months ago?” He asked but Kibum could see that he understood that was not what he meant.

He shook his head. “We met a little more than a year ago.”

“Then why don’t I remember?” Jonghyun asked with a frown.

Kibum let out a deep, shaky breath.

“Because that wasn’t really you right now.”

“Kibum, will you speak in a way that I can understand!” Jonghyun exclaimed in frustration, looking utterly confused.

Kibum closed his eyes, suddenly feeling really lost. “I need Sekyung to help me.”

“She knows?” Jonghyun asked disbelievingly.

He nodded. Then he felt Jonghyun's hand grab his chin and his eyes opened wide. Jonghyun forced their faces close and stared into Kibum's eyes, seriousness rooted deep in them.

“I want to know what happened. Now.” He growled. “Did my parents do something? My grandparents? Because, I know that if I met you a year ago I would have remembered.”

“No, you wouldn’t!” Kibum shot back and shook off Jonghyun's hand, tears starting to run and voice rising. Suddenly he felt angry. At what, he didn’t know, but it didn’t make him less mad. “If you did, I wouldn’t have spent the last year wondering if you or Sekyung or Taemin or anybody from that time was okay! I wouldn’t-” his voice broke. “I wouldn’t have been left with a broken heart. You just disappeared on me!”

Jonghyun blinked at him. “Kibum, what are you-”

“I’m human!” Kibum yelled and stood up. “That’s what I am! Human!”

Jonghyun just stared at him with wide eyes.

“That’s what humans do! They grieve and can’t let go without a proper goodbye!” He continued. “You didn’t even say goodbye!”

“Kibum.” Jonghyun's voice was suddenly a terrified whisper and he immediately went quiet, regretting being angry. Somehow that didn’t seem to be the reason Jonghyun was staring unseeingly into space, looking frightened and apathetic, though.

Kibum sat down beside him again and was about to grab his shoulders to make Jonghyun face him when Jonghyun's hands shot up to grab his hair, curling up into a ball on the bed and whimpering slightly.

“No.” He said weakly. “Please.”

Kibum was starting to panic.

What in the world was happening?

“Jonghyun?” He murmured and put his arms around the now quivering body. “Jonghyun, shh. It’s alright. You’re okay. It’s going to be fi-”

Suddenly Jonghyun let out a blood-curling scream as if he was being tortured and his whole body went rigid. Kibum froze as well and his heart broke at the pain in Jonghyun's voice. Then the other started trashing and turning, screaming random words. Kibum had to cling onto him for dear life, trying not to fall off the bed. He somehow managed to get on top of Jonghyun and pin him to the bed after a while. The other wouldn’t go down without a fight though and Kibum had a hard time keeping him still, accidentally getting Jonghyun's elbow crashing into his jaw.

“Jonghyun! It’s okay!” Kibum panted, his eyes teary from the collision. “I’m here! Nothing will hurt you!”

Jonghyun's body suddenly relaxed. Kibum wasn’t ready for it and his arms that had been locked at the elbow suddenly bent as Jonghyun sunk into the mattress slightly, which made Kibum fall on top of him. However, instead of pulling away again, he put his arms around Jonghyun's shoulders and pressed him close, making them roll over so that both were lying on their sides.

“I’m here.” He whispered in the other’s ear. “Jonghyun, I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

It wasn’t until Jonghyun's breathing evened out that Kibum’s thoughts caught up to him and he realized what might have just happened. When he did he quickly pulled away, staring down at the motionless body of Jonghyun. He could still see the chain glimmering around the other’s neck, but he had a feeling that if he would pull the pendant out he wouldn’t like what he saw.

He scrambled away from the other as fast as he could, running to the kitchen where he sunk to the floor, the world around him blurry.

He might have just completely broken the man he loved.

A/N: Yeah... cliffhanger xP

Anyway, sorry for the abscence! I have been so insanely busy and then four days ago my computer out TT_TT Thankfully I had saved this on my mail, otherwise you'd had to wait for at least five days more...

Also! I was supposed to give a shoutout to FalinSnowBlossom121 in the last chapter since it was her birthday but forgot ;_; But now I'm doing it, so happy (very) late birthday!! ^_^

I'll try and upload a bit more frequently again but I can't really promise anything, I just hope you think it's worth the wait :/

I hope you enjoyed this dubble update and thank you everyone!!! I love you!! <3

Bye~!