I head out his apartment with tears rolling down freely on my cheeks. You’re an idiot, Seunghyun-ah. I continuously curse myself for not being able to turn the table on him. Furthermore, the way he dismissed me seem too stuck in my head. I head down on the elevator weakly and crying helplessly like a little kid.

I reach the ground level after what I feel like eternity and I can see my brother raises his brows on me. I wipe my tears and walk closer to him.

“It didn’t go well?”

I shake my head, “It didn’t.”

He sighs, “I told you it’s not time yet.”

“He hates me.”

He hugs me and walks me to the passenger seat, “Stop crying, kid. You’re not weak.”

He closes the door and walk to the side, to the driver seat. He starts the car’s engine and he looks to me again.

“Shall we back to your office or shall I drive you home?”

“Home.”

He nods and we slowly leaving the apartment, back to Gangnam where I live. I keep silent all the way home and avoiding my brother’s stare, not wanting to talk. Seungri, Seungri, Seungri. Seungri occupies every single cell on me and it pains me.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

I groan lowly and I scrunch my face, trying to hold back the pain I’m feeling. It feels my whole body aches and my head hurts because I miss him. I miss you, Seungri-ya. I clench my fist and I punch my own thigh.

“Kid, stop it.”

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri. I punch my own thigh again, this time harder and I keep my ears shut even though my brother’s yelling at me.

“Ya! Choi Seunghyun! Stop it!”

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri. I punch my own thigh for the last time and I break down to cry. I sob pathetically in front of my brother and he sighs heavily.

“Stop hurting yourself, kid.”

I don’t listen to everything he says afterward and continue crying like a child lost his puppy. I miss you, I want you, and I crave you. We arrive home not long after that and my brother escorts me to my bedroom safely, afraid that I’ll hurt myself again. He puts me to bed like he always did when we were children.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I’m back. I’ll go out to buy some food.”

I pull up my blanket and cover my whole body with it, ignoring my brother. He sighs heavily and I can hear his footsteps getting farther before I hear the door’s clicking. I uncover myself right away and sneakily go out to the kitchen.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

My eyes running the whole cabinets and look for a knife.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

My eyes stop as soon as I see something flashy and shiny on the corner of the cabinet. I grin madly and I pick the knife.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

“I told you I’ll make you love me again.”

--

I stand quietly in front of my tub, filling it with cold water. The knife is still safe on my hand and I stare at my own reflection on it. I see pain hidden in your pride, Seunghyun-ah. I hold it tightly until my knuckles turn white and I grit my teeth.

“I’m doing this for you, Seungri-ya.”

--

“Seungri, we need to talk.”

He smiles brightly as he walks closer to me, “What is it?”

I love you. “I can’t allow you to pursue your dream.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t.”

“Why?”

Because you’re mine and mine only. “Because you’re not good.”

He opens his eyes widely, glaring at me. “Excuse me?!”

“You , Seungri, I can see you failing even before you start.”

“What?! Listen, I have been trained for five ing years and I won’t back down.”

“Don’t you speak with that tone to me, Seungri.”

“What is your problem, really?!”

“I said you can’t be a singer and that’s final!”

“You have no rights to stop me!”

“I have,” I glare at him, “I ing have.”

He’s tearing up and he pouts, wavering my heart but I won’t change my mind.

“You know what,” he looks up to me and he’s crying, “I don’t love you anymore.”

He turns his back on me and leaving me in a daze. I don’t follow him because I believe he’ll come back to me, but I’m wrong.

--

I soak myself into the tub with my clothes on and the cold water pains me. I groan lowly and I submerge myself for some time before resurface.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

I pick up the knife that I’ve been holding and stare at my own reflection.

Seungri, Seungri, Seungri.

I start to cry and I hold the knife tighter, bringing it close to my wrist.

I’ll make you love me again.

Oh God TOP has gone completely insane :O

anyway sorry for the short chapter, but I hope you like it though ^^

what will happen next?

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