“We have found him, sir.”

I stand up immediately, making both Mr. Yang and the young producer in a daze. I cough nervously and I bow to both of them.

“Uh, I’m sorry, but something very important comes up. I’ll be back in a while, continue your talk freely in my room.”

I stumble as I walk out my room and I rush downstairs to meet my brother, Choi Dongwook. I can’t care less about people who’s looking at me with a weird face. All I care right now is him, the one who I have been dying to find. I don’t even bother to use the elevator, I literally run down the stairs and I almost fall because of it.

I reach the ground level in no time and I can see my brother’s smoking; leaning on the main door.

“Hyung!”

He turns his body around and he grins, “Hey kid, what’s with the rush?”

I grasp his shoulders firmly, not caring what he said, “Where is he?”

He grins wider, “Really? You rarely see your hyung and now all you care about is him?”

I groan, “Hyung! Where is he?!”

He dodges my hands from his shoulder and he glares at me, “Calm down, kid. Let me finish my cigarette in peace.”

I pull out the cigarette from his mouth and I step on it hard.

“Ya! Choi Seunghyun! You want to die?!”

“I am dead,” I glare back at him, “now tell me, where the he is.”

He smirks, “You two are match made from heaven. He talked just as rude as you.”

I exhale to calm myself down, holding the urge to smack my own brother.

“Hyung,” I exhale, “tell me where he is, please.”

“He doesn’t want to see you.”

I groan, “I know that, but I want to see him. Where is he, really? Did you even find him? Or do you come here for money?”

He slaps my mouth, “Watch your mouth, kid. I’m the one who made you live pleasantly like this.”

I exhale, still holding the urge to fight him, “Tell me where he is.”

“Dongjak-gu.”

“Do you know which apartment he lives in?”

“I don’t know.” You’re being so obvious, hyung. I have known you for years.

“I know you know hyung. Don’t even try.”

“I just don’t think it’s the right time to see him.”

I exhale, calm down, “Just ing tell me.”

“I’ll take you there.”

--

We arrive at Dokjang-gu in no time because I forced asked my hyung to drive faster. Now we are standing in silent side by side, quietly examining the apartment where my long lost love lives. I exhale and I can feel myself trembling. I miss him and I regret everything that I done to him, but I guess I’m just a fool that can’t love properly.

“Are you going to stand here forever?”

“Maybe.”

“Bingu,” he groans, “be a man and get inside.”

I nod and I enter the building slowly. Anxiety rushes in through my whole body and I can feel myself back to my teenage years where I first asked him out. I was anxious—very anxious—back then. I have always hated to be rejected, and it remains the same until today. But today I feel more anxious, because I already know I’m going to be rejected.

But hey, I’m Choi Seunghyun after all.

I press the elevator button and take a glance to where my brother is. He smiles warmly from a far, encouraging me to see Seunghyun—my other half. The elevator door slides open and I can literally feel myself re-living the memory.

--

He’s waving his hand cheerfully and I hold my breath, preventing any twitches from my body. I can’t be seen weak, especially not by him. But he’s a foot part from me now and I hand him his coffee shakily. Damn.

“Hey hyung,” he grins, “thanks for the coffee.”

I nod, sipping my coffee and avoid his gaze. You’re stupid. I look at him again and he’s sipping his coffee, still look very cheerful. Stop twitching. My mouth draws a smile without my own realization and he notices it.

“What’s the good news?” he grins again.

You’re undeniably charming. “What?” I look away to avoid his gaze.

I can hear him sighs, “I was just wondering, sorry.”

I’m sorry. “I’m just happy.”

He smiles again and I adore his innocence, “That’s nice, you rarely seen happy.”

I’m always happy around you. “Yeah.” I look away again and take another sip of my boiling coffee. I think I burnt my tongue and my throat.

“Uh, hyung, I think we’re running late. You said I have an appointment at 12.30 but now is already 12.15.”

He shows me his watch and I can smell his perfume from his wrist. I hold myself not to twitch or shaking in front of him. Tell him now. I look to him and I just can’t stand his cuteness.

“You’re not late.”

He furrows his eyebrows, “Hmm?”

I take another sip of my coffee, “You have an appointment with me, and you’re obviously not late.”

He laughs, “I…don’t understand your joke.”

“I’m not joking,” I exhale, “I made it up. I want to see you.”

His face blushes and he draws a little smile on it. I take another sip of my coffee, oh wait it’s already gone, and I grasp his hand roughly.

“I like you,” I cough, “be mine.”

He blushes even worse and now his face is nothing but red. He looks up to me and he nods shyly, drawing a huge smile on my face. Finally you’re mine, now and forever.

--

The elevator slides open and I’m twitching badly. I feel sick but still I continue walking and stop in front of a door. I exhale and I check the number. 918.

I pluck up my courage and knock on the door lightly. I can hear footsteps from inside and I almost cry when I hear his voice.

“Wait a minute!” it’s you.

I pant badly as I try hard to hold back my tears. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to be seen weak. Not in front of you. The door opens slowly—or that only what I feel—and it reveals him. He gasps in shock and quickly shutting the door back, but I manage to hold it.

I push the door with all my strength and he falls. He’s stumbling and walking away from me, but I don’t care. I’m happy to see him again even though he sees me as a monster. I close the door and I lock it, scaring my baby even more.

“Wh-wh-what are you doing here!”

“I want to see how my baby is doing without me.”

He runs and he hides behind the couch, and it pains me as I miss him very badly. I have never seen his cuteness for very long, and I find the fact he scares of me is adorable. I’m a monster, I know.

“Come back to me. Don’t run away from me again.”

“ you, leave me alone!”

I exhale, trying to hold the pain I’m feeling, “I’m sorry I treated you wrong, I’m sorry.”

“If you don’t leave I’ll call the police.”

Am I really scaring you? “Is it a crime for wanting to see you?”

I roll up my sleeve and I show him my wounded hand. I have been cutting myself since he left me, losing my mind just because I miss him. I am insane.

“I treated you wrong and I punished myself.” I exhale again, “I miss you it’s killing me.”

“I don’t give a damn and I don’t miss you for slightest bits,” he starts to cry, “leave me alone and don’t you dare threatening my family again!”

I pull him to my embrace and I hold him tightly, roughly. He cries louder and he wriggles, trying to shove me away.

“I’m sorry I can’t love you properly, but give me a chance and I’ll never make you sad for a day. Come back, come home to me.”

He continuously punches my chest and I let him. Kill me if it makes you happy, but I won’t give up. He stops and his hand falls rapidly on my body. I look down to him and he already passed out. I lift his body in panic and I carry him to the couch.

I can’t hold my tears anymore and I let myself cry in front of him, showing my true self. I’m weak, I was never strong, I was only pretending. I wanted to be strong for you but it turned out wrong and I’m sorry. I should have never made you sad.

Wow what's happening? ._.

keep updated~ ^^