Hey guys, the first chapter will only be an introduction of the characters~

Hope you enjoy the story! xoxo

I park my car excitedly and I bring down my luggage. I smile proudly as this will be the first day I’m living alone as a grown man. My mom hesitated at first; she didn’t let me to live alone. But I managed to convince her somehow, and here I am. I grasp my apartment’s key tightly as I enter the building.

I push the elevator button and I wait the door to slide open happily. I look over the parking lot and I see a young man entering the building confidently. He wears a black beanie and an aviator. Damn, he looks so fine and he looks as happy as I am. He smiles brightly to me as he enters the building and he stands next to me.

He smells really nice and his smile is just something that you can’t stop looking at. I try my best not to look scary in front of him and keep my calm. As the elevator door slides open, we enter at the same time and my luggage kick his calf.

“Oops, I’m sorry.”

He smiles, “It’s alright.” Holy mama, stop smiling!

I laugh nervously and when I’m about to press the floor number I’m in, he pressed it first. I squeeze my fingers nervously and he notices it.

“What floor do you live in?”

“I like you,” I blush, “I-I mean like you, the same floor as yours.” I stutter. Idiot.

“What a coincidence,” he smiles again, “I’m moving in today.”

I look at the luggage beside him that I didn’t notice before. He doesn’t bring as much as me, he only brings one luggage with him. I look up to his smiling face again and I smile to myself; I’ll be having a handsome neighbor. How lucky.

The elevator door slides open and we walk out at the same time. It causes my luggage to kick his calf once again. He groans but still he smiles to me.

“I-I’m very sorry.”

He smiles, “It’s alright, neighbor.”

I blush and I walk out the elevator first, heading to my apartment. He walks behind me and my heart’s jumping, hoping he’ll live next door. As I reach my apartment I take out my key from my pocket and stops in front of my apartment’s door. I smile proudly once again.

The handsome young man from before stands right beside me and he taps on my shoulder lightly.

“I’m sorry, but I think you got your apartment wrong.”

“Eh? I don’t think so…”

I check on my key’s number and match it with the door’s number, “Look, it’s the same. I think you got yours wrong.”

“No way,” he shows me his key, “it has the same number with the door.”

We look at each other, both confused. He groans and he takes out his phone, dialing someone that I believe the one who sold him the apartment. I do too, since this is ridiculous. How can you sell an apartment to two different people?

I dial Mr. Kang’s number and he picks up the phone right after.

He answers happily, “Good day, Mr. Kwon. How is your new apartment?”

“Good day, Mr. Kang. That’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. Why didn’t you tell me that I’ll be having a roommate?” a handsome one.

“A roommate? I’m afraid I don’t understand, Mr. Kwon.”

“Someone bought the very same apartment and he moves in today as well.”

I hear him gasps, “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Kwon. I think my brother made a mistake. We’ll fix it, but for now, do you mind to live there until the problem fixed?”

Of course I don’t mind, duh. “It’s fine, but I want it to be fix as soon as possible, Mr. Kang.”

“We will, Mr. Kwon. Have a good day!” he hangs up right away.

I face my new roommate and he has just finished his phone call as well. He looks at me and I cough nervously.

“Well, uhm, I guess we have to live here until the problems fixed.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “let’s go inside.”

We put our key on the door at the same time and it makes the situation even more awkward than it already has. He let me open the door and we enter it together. We look around the apartment—my apartment—and thankfully the apartment is big enough to accommodate the two of us.

The apartment has two bedrooms and one bathroom. It’s already full furnished with beds, sofas, kitchen utensils, and even a TV in the living room. I open the first bedroom door and I look at him.

“Which room do you want?”

“Any room will do.”

I nod, “Alright, I’ll take this one.”

He nods and he walks to the second door across my bedroom. I close my bedroom’s door and I jump happily inside. I know I’m not supposed to be happy, but I can’t lie. I am happy that I move into an apartment with a handsome roommate.

I unpack my luggage cheerfully and start to arrange my bedroom. I put out all my books onto the desk and put in all my clothes to the closet. I cover the mattress with my own bed sheet that I brought from home and now my bedroom looks similar with the one at my house. I smile proudly once again.

I put out the only thing left from my luggage; a photograph. I sigh sadly as I stare onto it. It’s my deceased sister’s photograph from years ago. She looked happy and the photograph assures me that my sister is really happy in heaven.

“How are you, noona? I hope you’re doing well, your dongsaeng has grown now.” I wipe my tears, “I’m sorry that I’m the only one growing up.”

I close my eyes as I remember the horrifying memory from the past. The memory of how my sister passed away.

--

“Yah, my dongsaeng looks really good today.”

I blushed and I smiled to her, “Thank you, noona.”

She smiled at me and she focused back on the road. We were on our way to my friend’s birthday party and she was the one to drive me. The road was clear, not even a car was seen. I thought maybe because it was raining pretty hard. That day everything felt fine, nothing felt wrong. I didn’t know that day would be the last day with my sister.

My sister drove pretty slowly because she was being careful. It was pitching black outside and rain falls harder, hinder our sight.

“The sky cries sadly tonight, I wonder what’s happening.”

“Maybe someone it loves left him.”

She giggled, “Very funny, Jiyong-ah.”

We laughed happily, not knowing something big about to happen. As my sister turned left, a truck hit our car. I didn’t remember how exactly it happened. I can only remember I screamed my sister’s name, and I remember her scream. She screamed in pain; but it was all black. I didn’t see a thing, I can’t remember a thing.

I remember waking up in the hospital and I saw my mom crying beside me, hugging my sister’s photograph and I knew right away what happened. She left me; she left us.

And for some reasons I believe, it all happened because of me.

--

I open my eyes in shock as I hear someone knock on my door. I momentarily forgot that I have a roommate. Not to mention, a handsome roommate. I walk to the door and I foolishly tidy up myself. I guess I just want to look good in front of him.

I open the door and I swear, what I see in front of me is an angel; topless angel. I exhale and I look at him, smiling foolishly. I must be blushing and look creepy because he smiles mockingly at me.

“Uhm, I forgot to ask your name.”

You came here topless just to ask my name?! “It’s Kwon Jiyong.”

He gives me his hand, “Lee Seunghyun.”

We shake hand awkwardly and I can feel his skin against mine. Wait, that sounds wrong. I look to him again and he’s still smiling before he let go of my hand.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 23 this year.”

“So you’re a hyung,” he smiles, “I’m 21 this year.”

I laugh nervously, “My dongsaeng.” I want to kill myself.

He laughs nervously then he coughs, “Well, uhm, I still have to unpack.”

I blush uncontrollably, “Yeah, sure, go unpack your stuffs.”

He nods and he walks back to his room. As soon as he walks away I quickly close my door and exhale. I literally couldn’t breathe in front of him. Why did he come topless again? Did he do that on purpose?

I walk back to my bed and lie down. I curse myself for being stupid. I have never acted that way before, seriously never. Maybe it’s because he was topless…alright stop with his topless image in your damaged brain. He’s just a (handsome) roommate and that’s all. I will scare him off if he knows the truth about me.

I am gay, and I have been in closet forever. No one knows the truth but me. I didn’t even tell my sister about this. I have been pretending my whole life; I have been pretending that I like girls—well, I like girls, but not in a romantic way—to everyone. Truth is I like men, I love men. I tried to deny it but I couldn’t. This is who I really am.

Being gay is also the reason why I decided to live on my own. I want to start a new life because I feel embarrassed to my parents; I have secretly become their shame. I don’t want them to find out because I’m afraid of reality. They surely won’t accept it easily, they’ll ban me. I’ll go back home if I have found the life that I searched for.

I thought things going to be easy, but now that I have a roommate, I’m not sure anymore. I’m not sure either it will worsen the condition or make it better.

I sigh as I stare at the ceiling blankly.

“I hope this is the life that I wished for…”