Seungho’s POV

Beep beep beep!

“Urgh.” I grunted. Stupid alarm. I ignored the annoying sound and continued my sleep, my head was still spinning from the hard we did for I don’t know how long.

Sleep was already overcoming me when I felt a shove on my back. ”Oppa...unn, turn off your phone...”

Gyuri. I tried to ignore her. “Oppa~~~” she cutely complained.

Aisssth... “Okay, okay.” I reached for my phone ready to turn off the beeping sound but not before looking at the time.

”Sh*t!” Drowsiness quickly left my body as I immediately sat up from the bed. It was already five in the morning and Mblaq has a schedule at seven!

I was busy buttoning my pants when Gyuri sat up and turn to look at me with a frown on her face. “What’s wrong oppa?”

She was so cute doing that making me want to tackle her and have my fill of her again. But I have a schedule to attend to, tsk.

“Sorry Gyuri-ah, there’s an important schedule today...” I looked for my shirt and found it lying on the corner of the room. Ah we really had a rough round. “I have to go early.”

She pouted and gave me her puppy eyes. “Do you really have to go?”

I felt myself get hard again. “Sh*t don’t do that, you’re too irresistible.” I went to her and caress her cheek.

She pouted more. “I can’t help it, you’re leaving early again.”

I chuckled at her childishness. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you after our schedule’s done.”

Then she lightened up. “Really? Okay!”

I shook my head and finished dressing up. “Gotta run.” I pecked her on the lips.

“I love you.” I froze at what she said.

She gazed at me lovingly and I averted my eyes. “Yeah...” I smiled weakly then left.

I know that she always say it every time we meet and even between our sessions but I don’t know how to respond. The truth is I don’t love her, and I’m not adding a yet on that because I don’t think that I would, even though I’m trying to.

I just can’t love her back. Yes she is different, I’ll never deny that fact, but to me she was just a fling, a very compatible fling. We have the same thinking, the same want, the same need. I really can’t see her as nothing but just a ual partner.

.....Or maybe I’m probably wrong. Maybe there’s a possibility to love her back but there is something that is holding me back, someone that is.

Sanghyun.

 My lover.

Because I still have a relationship with him that is tying me down. But I know on the back of my head that it is not guilt that’s preventing me... it’s the OBLIGATION. The obligation to be with him.

It’s hard to admit but I don’t feel the same way I felt for him years back.

It might be because of me changing in time, craving for something he can’t give or because our relationship was not a normal relationship and was needed to be hidden that we can’t go out on public freely. Yeah it might be because I just want to do what couple normally does.

And it might be because of Sanghyun. When we started dating he’s always been the cautious person between us two, being the conservative and timid person he is. He was very secretive that I even begged him to let me tell the other members about us. And it took us what? I think four months until he agreed.

What’s worst is he never showed any love towards me, being indifferent as he can be. The only time he showed his feelings was when the time I confessed. That’s it.

It’s his personality to not show any emotions towards anyone even me, I understand that. But for all these years I’m getting fed up of it.

This slowly falling relationship, it’s because of me but I can’t help but to blame half the fault to Sanghyun.

---

“Sigh, here I go...”  I was now already on the front door of our dorm praying that my members were still asleep. I poked my pockets and searched for my card key. What the hell? Where is it?

I searched again but still my pockets were empty. I left it on Gyuri’s bag!

Now what do I do!? Should I wait for someone to open the door? I shook my head at the thought. No! No! No! My members shouldn’t know that I got home just now, especially Sanghyun... yeah him. I my lips feeling irritated at my stupidity of forgetting my card key.

I was so busy thinking of a way to get out of this mess that I failed to notice that the door was getting unlocked already.

“Hyung?” I looked up. Oh my mother ing sh*t...

I tried to give my best smile. “Sanghyun babe!”

It was my lovely boyfriend who still has his bed hair. He was still sleepy and yawning innocently. For some reason looking at him defenceless and with all his pureness showing like that spark some guilt inside of me that I never thought that I will feel again.

Why am I feeling guilty now? Now that I’ve done enough stupid things to make me numb. I shrugged the thought. Whatever, I don’t care. It’s only natural since I’m errr cheating. It’ll soon go away.