Seungho’s POV

“Gyu-Gyuri…” I mumbled as I watched her wrecked everything. I couldn’t do anything. She went crazy and I… I just stood there. I’m afraid that if I interfere, it might just get worse. All I can do is shut my eyes and wish that all of these are not happening at all, that this is just a dream.

Because she is not like this… the Gyuri I know was not an insanely violent person. She is a sweet and a kind girl. But what I’m witnessing is because of my doing. I made her this way. She turned into a completely different person.

“Ugh why!?” I flinched when I heard her cracking voice. I forced myself to open my eyes and look at her state. It almost made me cry for guilt.

Gyuri was on her feet and grudgingly glaring at me while panting. I couldn’t take her judging eyes so I averted my gaze and looked around instead. She transformed the room in a complete mess. Everything were broken and shattered… like her.

Does she love me this much?

How can I be such a douche? Now everything was taking its toll on me. I always knew that she was feeling something for me but I still played with her heart, used her to my best interest as she willingly gave her self to me. I want to reciprocate her feelings but I can’t, not before and definitely not now…

…because the only one for me is probably lazing around the dorm. And after I correct everything, I can bravely face him and get him back.

I sighed and kneeled beside her. “G-gyuri, I’m sorry.” With sincerity I caressed her hair and move out the strand of fringe blocking her pretty face. But her expression didn’t change, she is still glaring at me and even harder this time.

“I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” I continued with my heart as she stares at me indifferently. “… what I’m doing is wrong, what WE are doing is wrong…” I took a deep breath. “… it has to stop.”    

It was silent for a moment as we stared right through each other. And every second that passed was making me nervous. I can’t help but think on how she will respond to me. But it was immediately answered when I saw a tear slipped from her eye.

“W-why now?” she stuttered as she starts to shake. “Why now when you made me fall hard? You—“ She tried to blink when her tears flowed uncontrollably, but it’s useless. “…you’re so unfair…”

My heart tightened at the sight. I never intended to hurt her, but the immature me did so. “I…I’m sorry.” I apologized again, I can’t think of anything but only those words.  I deserve to die, no one need to tell me.

“Do you love someone else?” Gyuri asked with her scrutinizing eyes. I stiffened. That caught all her attention. “You do.” She stated it, taking my action as a yes. Then she suddenly got up and walk towards the kitchen.

It alarmed me so I profusely followed her. “Gyuri, wait!” I found her leaning on the kitchen stool. “Gyuri please, I’m sorry.” I went to go near her.

“Don’t!” She swung something on the air. “Don’t come any closer!”

I gulped and slowly stepped back. “Pu-put the knife down Gyuri…”

“NO!”

I winced at her loud cry. She was pointing the knife at me as she gave me a dead look. “Are you going to stab me?” I warily asked her, with the way how things look like, it’s possible.

She sobbed and holds the knife with both of her hands while she trembles. “Why? Scared?”

I admit that it was frightening. Still, I held myself and put on a strong façade. But to tell you the truth, I don’t really care if Gyuri hurts me. If it is her way of letting out all her frustrations I caused then I’ll let her be. She’s free to torture me, as long as I don’t die.

I still want to be with him you know.

“No.” I heaved. “…if it means that it’ll lessen your pain, you can hurt me.” It took me all the courage to say those