Chapter 4: And one of the biggest lie on Earth is, "I'm fine"; fine without you.

(A/N: *reminder - song lyrics are in quoted bolded words) 

"Was the world was dazzling before I met you?

Underneath that sky, all I'm left with are tears"

[So Yi Jeong]

I checked my emails for a response – none, nothing at all.

Though it was expected, I still felt a twinge of sadness in my heart.

Perhaps it was because I still held some hope, some faith in our relationship.

What was built up in 5 years – not to mention the few years before that, how could it just be gone like that?

To me, it was a ridiculous fact and I refused to believe in it.

Like how I used to not believe in the notion of soul mates, until she entered my life.

[Chu Ga Eul ]

And then I saw him. I never thought we would see each other again.

But this world is small, it certainly is.

[So Yi Jeong]

And then I saw her. I had to blink a few times to double confirm it - was she real or just a figment of my imagination?

Had I missed her so much that I started hallucinating? I wondered.

She was smiling. She was laughing, happily. But she was not alone.

There was another guy, by her side. Laughing with her.

I felt a pang of jealousy hitting my heart.

I should be the one beside her, the one laughing with her, the one holding her hands.

[Yoon Ji Hoo]

"Yi Jeong?" I decided to break that awkward silence as I noticed how Ga Eul had let go of my hands the moment she spotted him.

But I didn't mind, we knew that we were only putting on a show for Jan Di.

They were now staring at each other, as if no one else was there, as if I was invisible, as if time has frozen for them.

Yi Jeong finally acknowledged my presence and managed a slight smile as he greeted me. Or rather us.  

"Long time no see, Ga Eul-yang..how are you doing? Nice meeting you here, Ji Hoo."

[So Yi Jeong]

I cringed as the words escaped from my mouth.

Nice? Did I really say that? It was nothing like nice meeting them here, nothing nice at all, especially not when he was holding on to her hands, to my beloved Gaeul's hand.... what a hypocrite I have become.

I wonder if she remembers..

..that today was the day we first started our relationship.

Does she remember our first date? When we first met?

Does she miss my hugs? My kisses? My smses? My phone calls?

Does she miss the way I push her head?

[Yoon Ji Hoo]

What happened to the famous playboy I knew?

Turning all flustered because of a girl.

Chu Ga Eul, you are one force to be reckoned with.

[Chu Ga Eul]

I think it took me all my breath and all my strength to hold that tiny teardrop back right there.

How could a teardrop have that much strength? It almost won against that competition against my entire self.

And when I finally did succeed in stopping that tiny teardrop, I had to use my remaining strength to force a smile – I used so much energy that I felt like I was going to collapse right there and then.

But I wasn’t going to allow myself to let him see me fall.

I am strong. I am all right. I am doing fine, in fact, well, without you.

A voice in my head spoke.

But all I managed to squeak was “I am all right, and you?”

I hope he didn’t hear the quaver in my voice.

[So Yi Jung]

All right? All right… she tells me…

She’s all right without me…

And how about me, she asks?

Me? I’m breaking inside and collapsing outside…

Can’t you see that, Gaeul?

Don’t you know that you took my whole soul with you when you left?

Life, I don’t even know what it is anymore…

Did I even had a life before I met you?

I cannot even remember. 

End of Chapter 4

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A/N: Hi! Thanks for subscribing and commenting (: I really appreciate it, it motivates me to write even more ! Thank you very much, hope you all will enjoy this chapter too!