[Ga Eul]

My world stopped as the news hit me, the sound of children's laughter fading into the background.

Without realizing it, I had dropped whatever I was holding and found myself racing out of the place.

How apologetic I felt towards work, and towards all the others around me, couldn't compare to the worry and concern I felt for the man in question.

"Sorry mum, sorry dad, I love this man too much to let him go." All that filled my mind at that moment was a,desperate hope that he was still alive, that he was fine.

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"Yi Jung, he's in hospital. There has been an emergency."

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These words kept repeating itself in my mind, like a broken record, that no one had bothered to switch off or repair as other thoughts raced along besides it.

My mind was working in overdrive, like my heart was. All beyond my control. Perhaps, all along, the only reason why I could bear to be apart and so far from him, was only because of the knowledge I had that he was fine, he was well.

What was I to do, what can I still hold on to, if he was no longer fine, no longer around? This love, I thought already long buried, gone and forgotten .... Was in fact, still burning strong, while I had pretended to ignore the fire within me.

Yijung, please be alive.

The worst thoughts flooded my mind but my heart stubbornly cling on to a belief, that he will be fine, he will be okay.

Our love, our stories, our lives, they are not going to just stop like that. I believed in him and want to again.

And ran I did, with all my might, as the belief in my heart carried me through.

You will survive, you will be okay, you will be fine, Yi Jung, I believe in you.

I don't know how long I ran, or how fast I did, but my feet refused to stop until my mind registered the name of the hospital he was in, and even then, they did not stop for long, they raced into the building, as if I was in an unseen competition.

It did felt that way, like a race between time, between life, between death, between regrets and hope.

I could barely register the events that went on, the words I spoke, or the words I heard as I enquired about him.

The composure that I had mustered up enough to talk logically, was only but a facade, while inside, I was a jumble of panic and worry.

Again, and again, I replayed the worst scenarios in my mind, seemingly obsessed with this self-torture yet I could do nothing to stop it. The feet that rushed me to the hospital didn't even stopped as I arrived in front of the operation theatre, even though my mouth was already panting for breath and my body trembled from the exhaustion.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to collapse from the sheer load of my worries, yet ironically, it was the same worries that kept me awake as my feet paced to the tempo of my unnerving thoughts. I did not register anything around me at that moment, as if I was living in a trance.

Apparently, many attempts had been made to arouse me from it as I finally registered the snapping of fingers, the gentle shaking of my shoulder and a few people calling out my name, when I stopped in my track. "Ga Eul..", It was Ha Neul's voice I heard, but Woo Bin's finger I saw and Joong Ki who was shaking my shoulder .

"Ha Neul?", but what about the kids? What was she doing here?

"Jandi was brought to the hospital too so we had to halt the performance and sent everyone back earlier.", she explained. I nodded in response, not fully registering what was said. I jerked my head up when I realized exactly what she had conveyed.

"Jandi's in hospital?"

"Her waterbag broke, she's about to give birth," Ji Hoo, in his doctor suit, explained, his voice, as calm as ever. A new rush of feeling came over me.

A little joy, a little fear, a little hope.

They were all a little cause my heart was still largely occupied with the thoughts of his fate. Although, my worry has increased, for I worry for them both now.They are both two very important people to me. A very big portion of my heart, of what makes me alive.

"Don't worry about Jan Di, she's not in danger ,just shocked at the news and went into labour a little earlier than expected.",Ji Hoo reassured me. "Yes, she's got her family to accompany her too, she will be all right." Ha Neul added, and patted my hand.

"Yes. Jun Pyo's by her side, and he will make sure of it.", Ji Hoo continued, and I noticed a smile on his face. It seemed a little lonely, but mostly convicted and assured.

While I had been wallowing in the absence of my life, I have not noticed that this man who has been beside me, albeit for show, has slowly moved on from the shadows of his loss.

"Don't worry about Yijung too much too, he will be fine, we've got the best doctors in there, and he came in on time," Ji Hoo continued to assure me, a comforting smile on his face. Yet, the heart would not listen, as it's worries grew louder with the wait.

Not long later, we heard the sound of heels clacking from down the relatively quiet corridors of the hospital, and saw a finely dressed woman walking towards us. She nodded at me, signalling for me to acknowledge her presence. "Miss Ga Eul? Will you please come with me?"

Who was this oddly charming woman? Could it be a finely dressed doctor delivering me bad news? That can't be though, how would a doctor know my name? And why would a doctor on duty not wear a white robe?

I followed along after her lead, intrigued by my curiosity. I had not let down my burden of worries, but something inside me seems to say that whatever this woman has to say, has to do with my source of worries. How scarily one's instinct can be, yet scary doesn't always means bad.

"I am that woman"

I shot her a puzzled look, not getting what she meant until she slides her phone over to me, silently giving me the permission with her body language to browse at it's contents. I hesitated but eventually gave in. How far can one's heart sink? What exactly did this woman want? "Miss Ga Eul, I believe, you have been deeply misunderstanding."  

My body language must have given my feelings away as she took it as the sign she needed to launch her long explanation. "I'm sorry I took so long to come forward. I've been abroad for two years, trying to start my life afresh, but when I came back, and found out about it, I wondered if this was the cause of your separation. I have been looking for you through those of Yijung's connections -- I guess you cut off the ways he could connect with you though.

"You must be wondering what I know about you to make this judgment. I am in fact, even embarrassed to say, I know way too much about you, Miss Ga Eul. Yijung was a man I loved but at that time, his eyes have alreafy been fixed only on you. He was always just talking about you. And because of that, I've followed everything I could about you. I wanted to know exactly what it was about you that he liked, and I wanted to be you"

With that said, the charming lady sitting in front of me paused, as if to recollect her thoughts and feelings. It's never easy sharing about your own past, especially one that you would prefer to hide -- her desire evident in the soft volume of her voice, hesitation and aversion of gaze.

"I ..", her voice grew even softer "..just really wanted him to love me" "and I did everything I could... But at the end of day, I was just another one of the girls he always had around him"

"If love is something that could be seen, I'd tell you I saw exactly how much he loves you. The way an audience looks at a solo dancer on the grand stage, the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about you was like the way a mother looks at her child, the way a lover looks at his beloved."

"I realized that I had to leave and that was my final request from him when I made that decision, a parting gift -- his love, even if just for awhile, even for a moment."

"Ga Eul.." her gaze turn back to look at me. "Can I call you that?" And she paused again, and looked away again, inhaling to muster up courage.

Then again, her gaze was back, this time softer and apologetic, "I'm really sorry." "I have been observing you and I know you don't love him less, perhaps... Even more than I do. It must have been a difficult period.. Now that I've told you everything, I truly hope that you'll make the best choice for both of you" and she reached out to pat me on the hand, before giving me a small smile and standing up to leave.

I sat, watching her back as she walked towards the exit of the room, and disappeared from my sight. I eventually left the room we were conversing with a bag of mixed feelings, it was hard to choose what I should believe.

How long and how badly I had clung on to the thought that Yijung had done something I couldn't accept but here was someone telling me that everything I had believed for a long time was wrong.

That I made one of the grievous mistake of my life, that I was the one who chose to let myself suffer.

"Ga Eul!" I looked up to Haneul rushing towards me. "Jandi just finished giving birth! Do you want to see the babies? Twins!", she said, excitement glistening in her eyes. I nodded, and followed after her, thoughts swirling in my head.

[In Jandi's hospital ward]

"I thought Jandi would give birth to boys, given her rowdy nature!" "Yes, it's quite a surprise, that both are girls! " Jandi chuckled at the comments of her friends and family who were crowding around her bed, and shared a look with Ga Eul, who was carrying one of her child.

"Who says boys are the rowdier ones?", Jandi answered.

Ga Eul smiled at Jandi, "Yes, girls are way rowdier, right, Jandi?"

Memories of their misvhievous moments as kids came running into their minds.

"You have the perfect example lying on this bed!"

As they were laughing and joking, the door to the ward slided open and Ji Hoo stepped in.

"Yi Jung just finished his operation, it was very successful, would you like to see him?" He announced to everyone yet his gaze was fixed on Ga Eul.

Ga Eul grew silent as a sense of relief washed over her, quickly followed by a sense of guilt.

As she looked at the baby in her hand, and thought of the man she love, she was reminded of words that perpetuated her sense of guilt -- "the way a mother looks at a child", "how much he loves you".

She quietly put down the baby she was holding and slowly left the room, ignoring the news bearer completely.

The rest exchanged surprise looks, and Joong ki shrugged his shoulder at Haneul as she caught his eyes.

He joined the crowd that were heading out of the room to look out for YiJung but decided to find Ga Eul first instead, and eventually found her at the rooftop, looking out at the sky, "I hope you're not thinking of doing anything silly."

This time Ga Eul doesn't suppress her annoyance anymore and glared at him.

"Could you just leave me alone?"

"Does it work? "

"What?" Even her voice sounded annoyed now.

"Being alone to clear your thoughts, did it work for you?"

Ga eul was silent although it annoyed her, he did have a point -- her emotions seem to have became more chaotic over the course of time.

"Are you afraid to face him?" Afraid? Was she?

They stood in silence for awhile before she sighed, "It's my fault. I should have talked to him.... Why had I immediately choose not to trust him?"

"Self-defence mechanism, perhaps?"

"Self-defence mechanism? "

"It's a natural defence we all have, wanting to protect ourselves from hurt. Yet, unknowingly, we hurt others and ourselves with it instead. Something, like a porcupine and it's spikes.", he explained.

She turned to look at him quizzically, "I never knew you had that side to you"

"What? The intelligent side?"

She gave a soft chuckle, "Well, that, and how you seem to understand people" She paused, a thought coming to her, "could it be that you've been annoying me on purpose.. About Yijung?"

He shrugged and gave her a face.

"So, are you going in or not?", he asked, bringing them back to topic.

She shook her head, a little sadly.

"I'm not worthy... Of his love"

He stared at her in bewilderment, as if she was an alien who had just arrived in a spaceship.

"What?" Her annoyed voice was back again.

"Since when was it that love was about being worthy?"

She grew silent.

"Who is capable of judging that anyway? We are all flawed. Isn't love about accepting the person as they are?"

She remained silent, not quite sure of her own ability to love now.

"Anyway, I'll give you your quiet time now, I'll see you in there later, ok?" He pointed in the direction of the ward, and turned to leave.

"Hey! Wait!" Ga Eul shouted, stopping him in his tracks midway and turned backwards, facing her. "Thank you." , and for the first time, she smiled at her annoying colleague and he returned that smile, that reminded her of her certain someone, and she decided to follow her heart's desire this time.

End of Chapter 22

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A/N: Hello! 2 more chapters to go, I am kind of rushing up the storyline now.. and to be honest, I actually forgot the original misunderstanding, I hope this is not too lame and that you all are still entertained! Quick question, would you all prefer a more comedic/neutral/sad story next? The actual story is not a guarantee yet but I want to do a quick survey! I have ideas so I'm thinking which I should develop next! :)