Chapter 2: I miss you, too. 

"I used to call you the love 
The love that I never had 
When I think of you 
I don't know what to do" 

[Chu Ga Eul]

I tried hard to forget him. 

However forgetting him still proves to be an impossible mission, he has been invading my thoughts morning, day, night. 

I look out of the windows, I see him, I look at the art works my students made, I remember him making pottery. When I look out of the door, I imagine he’d be standing there once again, waiting for me to end lessons, like how he has done before. I can’t help but check my phone several times a day, to see if he’d send me a message again. God knows how many times I’ve reread his old messages. God knows how many times I had to resist the urge and temptation to call him just because I wanted to hear his voice. 

It has been 2 years. Neither too long, nor too short.. 2 years ago, I thought I would be happy, having him by my side.

Finally, I thought. 

But being with him, made me insecure, made me fear, fear losing him. Although he promised to stay away from other women, they still flock to him like bees to honey. I wish I could be clingy, and cling to him tightly, showed everyone that he was mine, then maybe they would all back off but that just wasn't my character. 

That just wasn't me. 

I thought I could tolerate it, thought our love could withstand it all, thought I would have that fairytale ending I wanted. But no, things turned out otherwise, and I learnt that a relationship is so much more than two people. Especially with him, Yi Jeong sunbae. I craved his attention, and I didn’t like it that so many others were sharing it too, or rather snatching for it… 

I was selfish I guess, I wanted him for my own. 

I held on for another year, hoping to get some telepathy through him to tell him how I was feeling – to show him how insecure and jealous I was feeling, yes – I was jealous, then I felt my hope straining. I asked myself if this was how I wanted the rest of my life to be? 

Was I just going to hold on like that for the rest of my life? He had never even mentioned anything about being with me for the rest of my life, perhaps it was just all my wishful thinking. 

Up till the end, it was probably just me and my wishful thinking.

Just me. 

Perhaps, it has never been us. 

And then, I wonder if I made a mistake, I wonder if I was too stubborn.

Maybe Yi Jung isn't my soul mate after all, maybe my soul mate have yet to appear.. I believe that everyone has a destined partner... but how would I know who he really is? 
And then I decided, it was time to move on, time for me to move on, to move on from that life of self-pity, to move on from that life of doubt. 

A life was waiting for me to live and I didn’t want to waste it, I didn’t want to do things that I will regret anymore. 

But.. I still miss him. I really do. 

End of Chapter 2

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A/N: Thank you for subscribing (: Next chapter will be the more difficult chapter for me... And a longer one too, with more than one characters, and this time, a new character intro too, one of my fave character, biased-ness ;D