“Choyoung, Choyoung, calm down!” the person reassured her, releasing and turning her around. Grabbing her shoulders, they looked her square in the eye, “It’s me, Chan!”

“What are you doing here?!” she hissed. Though she sounded mad, she was so relieved to see Chan. The tears in her eyes disappeared as he rubbed her back and her heart rate went down. Smiling, Chan jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, “My sister’s here. I’m her date,”

Choyoung completely forgot that Chan’s sister, Saron, was in Soonyoung’s grade. She bit her lip, wondering what to say next. She had never been in such a situation like this with Chan before. In school, she mostly depended on herself and despite that they were lab partners, they even worked on projects independently. They would just decide who did what and work on it alone. Though, they did talk to each other in-between classes and in homeroom a lot. Chan let go of her shoulders and stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly, “Um, sorry that I grabbed you like that. I just didn’t want you to see…”

“No it’s fine,” she interrupted, remembering why she was near tears earlier. Chan felt a knife go through his heart, guilty that he had brought the situation up again. The lump in came back, her bottom lip trembling. Body operating by itself, Choyoung unexpectedly threw her arms around Chan as her tears fell on his suit jacket. Shocked by her sudden actions, Chan just kind of stood there wondering what to do. Other than his sister, he never really experienced anyone using him as a shoulder to cry on. Sliding his hands out of his pockets, he wrapped his arms around her waist, slowly patting her back. It had always worked with his sister, so he figured it would work on her. Choyoung let her eyes cry Angel Falls, a bit embarrassed that she was ruining his jacket, but she couldn’t stop herself. A knot in her stomach continued to pull as images of Heejin and Soonyoung attacked her mind. This wasn’t the first time she had felt like this, but this time she felt ten times worse.

“Choyoung?” Soonyoung’s voice came from behind, astonished. He was in the middle of loosening his tie in a fit, but now stood frozen. A sword stabbed him from behind as he watched Choyoung immediately pull away from her science partner, the science partner that she liked. He was gone for just a few minutes and now he returned to see this. Unconsciously, his hands balled into fists, knuckles slightly whitening. Chan was still holding her waist as she dried her tears. Soonyoung was confused; why was she crying? His blood rushed to his head, voice cracking as he ordered, “Choyoung, get over here!”

“Leave her alone!” Chan yelled back. Now Soonyoung was surprised; did a junior just yell at him informally? Choyoung placed an arm on Chan’s arm telling him that it was okay, but he didn’t listen. How could Soonyoung just go around kissing someone else, make his date feel like that, and then get mad at her? Now that wasn’t right. Soonyoung watched the two whisper to each other, and he called out to her again, “Choyoung we have to go,”

Choyoung slowly nodded, intimidated by his sudden demanding front. She’d never seen Soonyoung that mad before. Surely it couldn’t be because of Chan? She knew that she was supposed to go with him home, that was the arrangement, but she was more scared than ever. Soonyoung was mad at her and his face showed that he meant business. Pulling away from Chan, she reassured him it was okay, “It’s fine, really,”

“Choyoung, let’s go!” Soonyoung was growing impatient. The longer Chan held her, the more his blood began to boil. He was just about ready to start throwing things but he withheld knowing that Choyoung would just retreat back to Chan if he frightened her. He watched as the two bickered back and forth in a hushed voice. Chan didn’t seem too keen on the idea of letting her go with him when really he was the one in rightful possession of her. Choyoung thanked him for his offer about getting his sister to drive her home, but nicely rejected it knowing her parents would flip out if Soonyoung arrived home without her. Buying into her persuasion, Chan sighed in defeat, letting go. Wiping the sides of her eyes, Choyoung made her way next to Soonyoung, but kept her distance. Chan glared at the older boy, “Fine, I’ll let her go this time. You better get her home safely,”

“I do what I want with her,” Soonyoung stated harshly, sending shivers down Choyoung’s spine. Her father’s words echoed in her mind about not holding back in punching him if Soonyoung were to ever jump her. Surely Soonyoung wasn’t referring to what she thought he was talking about. Body tense, she peeked up at Soonyoung, a bit hesitant now. She was now regretting her decision to go with him. She felt his fingers tightly wrap around her wrist as he started to pull her behind him. It wasn’t forceful, rather it was dominating.

Once they reached the parking lot, Soonyoung reached over and opened the door for her. Even in pressuring times like these, he would open the door for her. From inside the car, Choyoung saw Soonyoung lean against the trunk as he ran his hand through his hair. He seemed frustrated but at the same time, there was a look of guilt eating him alive. She wondered whether or not he knew that she had seen Heejin all over him. The driver’s door opened and he slipped in, not saying anything.

The first half hour of the drive home was awkward, and what’s worse was they had to sit in traffic. It was moving traffic but it wasn’t exactly Fast and Furious. The two were indulged in their own thoughts, wondering what to say to the other. Soonyoung had his head leaning against the car window while Choyoung was busying herself in looking at the dark grey interior of the car. They would often peek over at the other, and every once in a while, they would catch each other looking. Curious to what he was doing now, Choyoung looked over at Soonyoung. Her eyes were immediately drawn to his thin lips as he ran his tongue along them to rehydrate them. Letting out a slight huff, she turned her head back to the front.

“He must be thinking about Heejin,” she angrily thought. That must be why he was his lips. She had the urge to ask whether or not it tasted good but she wasn’t sure if he knew she had seen them together. Hearing her, Soonyoung peered over to the passenger side as Choyoung hugged her arms. The air conditioner was on full blast because Soonyoung was hot, but he thought otherwise. Shaking his head, he averted his attention back to the road in front of him.

“She probably wishes she were still hugging Chan,” he thought. Just the thought of Chan holding Choyoung irked him. It’s not like he wasn’t happy with the multiple times she had hugged him or snuggled him, but the idea of her intimate with someone else wouldn’t process in his brain. Trying to start a conversation, he bluntly asked, “Are you cold?”

“Yes,”

Reaching over to the back seat, Soonyoung grabbed his jacket and held it out to her, “Here,”

She mumbled an almost inaudible thank you and swiftly slipped into it. That random act of kindness was weird at this time, but she wasn’t complaining since it was slightly warmer now. She took note that even if he were mad at her, he was still generous in the inside. Maybe he wasn’t mad at her. Maybe he was just frustrated? Choyoung tucked a lock of limp curls behind her ear remembering he had his lips earlier, “Are you…thirsty?”

“No,”

Well, there we go. She got her answer in that one brief, simple no. He definitely was thinking about Heejin. They grew silent once more, only the shrill honks and brakes from the outside being the only noises left. It wasn’t until an hour and a half later when they finally arrived home at 12:30. The two climbed out of the car and head over to her house. Soonyoung was going to be staying over at her house since his parents didn’t want him driving home. Though, he knew their actual intentions. They wanted him to continue being with Choyoung until the next morning to see if any chemistry sparked up between them. What a troublesome couple his parents were. He bowed to the Kwans and thanked them once again for letting him stay over. As expected, Mrs. Kwan giggled like his mom would have and invited him inside. Mr. Kwon’s eyes never left him as if he were asking, “You didn’t do anything funny did you?”

Choyoung was already on top of the stairs heading off to her room by the time he had set foot on the bottom steps. He caught sight of her exposed back as she pulled the zipper down before arriving at her room. Blinking twice, he finally realized that he had seen her partially unclothed and immediately shook off any inappropriate thoughts. She was only 14 for Lord’s sake! Running up the rest of the way, he made his way into the guest room next to hers. He ripped his tie from around his neck, exhaling deeply. He could finally breathe again. It was choking him throughout the night. That or he was just holding his breath because of everything that had happened. He was in the middle of changing into the clothes he had prepared earlier that morning when he heard the shower turn on in the bathroom next door.

“Stupid pins!” he heard her yell.

Opening the door just enough so that his head could squeeze through, Soonyoung saw that the bathroom door was open just enough so he could see her standing at the sink. Half of her hair was still done up and pretty while the other side was a tangled mess. She tugged at her hair attempting to take off the stubborn pins. She breathed a sigh of relief when they finally slid off. It was getting harder for him to see her as the fog started to surround her. It was only then when Soonyoung’s eyes travelled down her body that he realized she had nothing but a light pink towel wrapped around her. Immediately, he pulled his head back into his room and closing the door without making a click. He shook his head furiously trying to erase what he had just seen but it wouldn’t leave his head.

Soonyoung groggily sat up from his bed, rubbing his eyes. He had never been a deeps sleeper but there had always been ups and downs to that. Sure, he could wake up easily in the morning but every sudden sound would wake him. Glancing at the bedside clock, he concluded that it was still early in the morning. The hum of the heater vent filled his room but he could also make out a faint sound that sounded like someone talking. Then again, the walls were thin enough that sound could travel through. Getting up, he opened his door to see where that noise was coming from. He realized that it was coming from the next door over; Choyoung’s room. Soonyoung hesitated to walk in wondering if she was awake and would lash out at him, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to check.

“No, stop!” Choyoung called out, voice cracking as she shifted her sleeping position. Her hand went up to her nose before scratching it, mumbling something once more. Soonyoung quietly made his way into her room, praying that she wouldn’t suddenly wake up. She flipped over onto her stomach, further tangling herself in the sea of sheets before shouting something once again, “Go away!”

Sitting down at the edge of her bed, he made sure he was a safe distance away if she got up and unintentionally landed one in his face. He remembered his parents telling stories about his younger self having nightmares and literally going full-out ninja on them if they touched him the least bit. They had woken him up by repeating his name over and over again until he finally snapped out of it, and woke up. Choyoung continued to talk in her sleep, tone getting more and more afraid as she went. Soonyoung felt terrible. He didn’t want to wake her up because then she would get mad at him for being in her room, but he couldn’t just leave her in her misery. Clearing his throat, he whispered, “Choyoung, wake up!”

He did this several times until Choyoung responded. Her eyes snapped open, her back and sat up. Heavily panting, beads of sweat gathered around her hairline and the back of her neck. Her eyes darted around the room, wondering where her parents were, but instead, she saw Soonyoung. Not like it bothered her or anything. She was relieved that someone actually pulled her out of her nightmare. Her parents were heavy sleepers and would never be there to wake her up when she had bad dreams. Looking up at him, she breathlessly asked, “What are you doing in here?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, ignoring her question. He was more worried about her well-being than what he was doing in her room. Staring at him with wide eyes, she slowly nodded but asked her question again. Soonyoung rubbed the back of his head before standing up, “Um, I heard you from next door. I thought I should wake you up,”

“Oh. Well, thank you for that,” she mumbled, staring out her window. The air was still awkward between them from yesterday’s sudden turn of events. He figured that now was not the time to bring that up. Choyoung buried her face in her hands before she flopped back down onto her pillow, staring up at the ceiling. Soonyoung kneeled next to her bed, propping his chin on the edge of the mattress, “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just close the door when you’re leaving,”

It wasn’t long before Soonyoung was sound asleep again in his room, but it wasn’t long before he was woken up either. Ruffling his hair, he got back up once he heard faint sobs coming from Choyoung’s room once again. Hurrying over, he caught her just in time before she fell off the side of her bed. Lifting her back up, he watched her stir still trapped in her dream world. Soonyoung had barely even gotten to sit down on her bed before she grabbed at his wrist. He flinched at her sudden action before Choyoung shot up and wrapped her arms around him, soaking his shirt with her tears. She was awake now and was tightly hugging him as salty drops streamed down the sides of her face. As if by second nature, he immediately took her in his arms, gently rocking her back and forth, sliding her onto his lap for a more comfortable and maneuverable position.

“Chan, I feel so bad,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Realizing that the name she said didn’t belong to him, Choyoung had metaphorically torn his heart out of him leaving a hole where it should be complete. Soonyoung felt transparent; as if Choyoung had seen right through that hole in his chest. Completely shoving his existence under the rug. A flame was burnt through everything he believed in as she cried into the arms of someone she perceived was not him.