Waking up the next morning I look around at the room, everything still the same, glancing over at my clock I let out a breath of relief, still a few hours until my session. Quickly getting out of the clothes from yesterday I take a shower, stepping out I quickly get dressed so that I have enough time to eat.

Putting on a cream colored dress with a pink paisley-like print, a grey cardigan, blue glass flower earrings, and a pink and gold bow bracelet I quickly exit my room.

Stepping into the living room I pass by the package, glancing at it I ignore it walking to the kitchen I grab myself a glass of orange juice and a banana, and make myself a bowl of oatmeal. After cleaning my dishes, and the glass from yesterday I sit in front of the box. Running my hand across the surface I debate if I should open it or not. Standing up I grab my brown shoulder bag, checking to be sure my phone and wallet are in I slip on my white flat slip shoes before trekking out into Seoul.

Making it to the office building that Miss Kim works at I walk into the reception area, taking my seat I look at the magazine rack, sighing I wait for my turn. Quietly I pick up a book from the shelf seated next to the magazines, flipping through the pages I scan the words, not really processing any of them, but more so bothered by the fact that Jonghyun was so insistent, and that I was finding myself thinking about him more and more.

“Miss Park, I’ll see you now.” Miss Kim says opening the door to her office for me.

Taking a seat in the chair she smiles at me. “Group therapy not for you I suppose.”

Shaking my head agreeing, I let out a sigh. “I met new people yesterday, five to be exact.” I whisper fiddling with the buttons on my dress.

“That’s good, they were nice I hope.”

I nod my head. “I just…” I whisper looking over at the pictures on the wall.

“It’ll be hard for a little bit Sunyoung.” Miss Kim says. “You haven’t mentioned meeting anyone for a while.”

“Well this was sort of an accident. One of them moved into the apartment down the hall from me, and I guess his friends came over…”

“Did you spend time with them?”

Shaking my head I let out another exasperated sigh. “I got caught in the elevator with them.”

“And?”

“They couldn’t remember the floor, so I politely told them, and one helped me with carrying a box.”

Miss Kim nods her head, taking a few notes. “What’s bugging you so much?”

Pursing my lips I continue to fiddle with the buttons. “They were very friendly, but I couldn’t even hold a full conversation.”

“Small steps, small steps.” Miss Kim says. “You’ve made a lot of improvement since we first started to have sessions.”

“I can only talk to you in confidence.” I whisper sadly. “It just gets so frustrating. I feel like I should have accepted when one asked if I wanted to go with them to hang out, but I couldn’t.”

Leaning closer Miss Kim grins. “See, you’re considering, it’ll take a lot to build trust in people you’ve just met.”

Out of habit I made a face at the word, causing Miss Kim to chuckle; closing my eyes I continue to talk. “One of them, the first one I met is interested in being friends.”

“So befriend him.”

“How can I? Friends trust! I can’t just put all my faith in one person, not anymore, I can’t just turn around from what I feel; he’ll hurt me.” I say raising my voice, quickly changing my tone I give Miss Kim an apologetic look before I continue. “I know that not everyone is as foul and appalling as I make them out to be, but I just see all the bad.”

“Its how you learned to survive when you were abused.” Mrs. Kim says slowly. “I know that you’ve had a difficult past with everything that happened to you when you were young, but not everyone is like them. Your parents are just a type of people in the world, there are other forms, kinder, caring, sweet people out there, and it’ll take a lot of effort to build your trust up.”

“It’s been years and I still search for all the bad!” I cry out. “I keep trying but every time I back down cause I’m terrified, I am too scared to even give them my name in some way they’ll hurt me just by knowing that!”

“Pistanthrophobia doesn’t just go away,” Miss Kim smiles at me. “It took you almost three years before you even talked to me about anything, it took you a long time for you to trust me, and you’ll have to work yourself up to trusting new people.”

After the two hour session I walk out feeling confused, I spent about an hour talking about Jonghyun, Miss Kim smiled through most of it, and she said it’s good that I like someone; it’ll help me build trust. Build trust in him; let him be the person to prove me wrong that not all people will hurt me?

Walking into a small grocery store, grabbing a basket I head towards the produce section, bumping into someone I seem to have a habit of bumping into.

“Oh, Sunyoung.” Jonghyun says smiling at me awkwardly.

“Hello Jonghyun.” I whisper picking out some slightly green bananas. “How are you?”

“Alright, just a little tired.” He says standing next to me looking at the oranges. “You?”

Biting my lip I look over at the apples. “I’m…” after a bit of force I say “Alright.”

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