CHAPTER 10. EARLY MORNING TALK

When I first stalked alone in the kitchen I didn’t find ramen. But now that there was Seunghyun, and he was way much taller than me he found me ramen in one of the tall cupboards. So there I was, in the middle of the night happily slurping my noodles just a few minutes past midnight on a snowy night with one person I never thought I’d find myself with.  While he didn’t care much for ramen as I did, so he settled himself with a cup of coffee and some toast.

I smiled as I sniffed the warm steam that came from the ramen.

“Didn’t know it only takes ramen to make you this happy.” He remarked then he sipped his coffee.

“I’m really way simple minded than what people might think I am.” I answered.

His cup made a clink as he put it down the ceramic coaster. Then he crossed his legs and clasped his hands on his knees.

This guy, even if he’s just wearing a robe and pajamas he still moves like he’s wearing an elegant suit. 

“So…” he started, “Tell me why you like Jiyong?”

I spit a bit of ramen soup, I scrambled for the tissues and wiped my chin as I looked at him. The question really caught me off guard. Why on earth of all the topics?

“Well…” he  wriggled his brows to coax me, “Come on…I want to understand you.”

Would you? Could you really understand me?

“You know…Jiyong is a really nice guy. But he can be pretty charming. Don’t get me wrong, he’s my friend…but there are sides to him that can be pretty hard to handle when you did deeper.”

“I know.” I answered.  “But his good sides are enough to oversee his flaws.”

He eyebrows raised in surprise, “You’re this serious!” he said in amazement.

“Of course!” I exclaimed, “What did you think? That it was just a hopeless crush? I admire the guy more than you can imagine.”

“When did it start?”

“A long time ago.” I answered in a quite voice.

“Really?”

“Yup.” I nodded, “I thought it was just gratitude I felt at first. You know, he helped me a lot to be where I am right now right?”

He nodded his head in understanding. He knew I was quite close with Jiyong before.

“It was mostly because he believed in me more than I believed in myself.” I looked down into the bowl and ramen and stared at the floating particles as if I could see the past hardships in my life flash in the soups’ glossy surface. “When I started out in YG, it was when I felt one of the lowest times of my life.”

“You seemed…okay.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, I remembered when I would see you I would always think…Ahh… what is this girl so cheerful about. I even envied your happy disposition a little bit.”

I snorted a bitter laugh. Yeah well…he was always the grumpy Seunghyun.

“I’m that kind of person. I don’t like to show my weakness. No matter how tired I am, no matter how frustrated I get, I don’t say anything about it. I hold it in. But sometimes it’s just so tiring.  I just want someone who will understand and lend me his strength and lift me up and accept me despite my weaknesses. Jiyong was always there. And I realized I want that kind of person in my life.”

“But he has changed.” He mumbled.

I nodded my head pursed my lips. What could I say…he’s was right.

“But ever once in a while…” he added and I could hear a smile in his voice, “….without saying a word…he lifts your heavy snowboard for you.” He gave me a teasing look that I couldn’t help but laugh.

No way, that did not just come out from Seunghyun. Why am I even admitting things to him? This is outrageous, I feel like I’m just talking to one of my girlfriends?

“What is this?!” I remarked with our bizarre conversation.

“What?” he said innocently.

“I mean, why are you even listening to me? It’s just so weird!”

“You made me forget my headache for a while.” He stood up, approached me then flicked my forehead. “Besides’ I’m so tired so my defenses are down.” Then he turned picked up his cup and put it in the sink while I rubbed my throbbing forehead.

“You mean…this is who you really are?!” I shouted after him.

“Goodnight Sandara Park…” he said as he continued walking away waving his hand in the air without looking back.

So behind that wall, behind that cool guy façade, is an empathetic Seunghyun who could lend a good ear sometimes…well sometimes…

Does that mean we’re friends now?

(sorry for the late update..16 hours at work yesterday..pigonheyo..somtimes i mull over the thought wether to update since i promised myself to update everyday..but sometimes i think the chaps are so haphazardly done..that it's not worth it to update just for the sake of updating? *sigh..guys whatcha think? btw i'm very happy i have new subscribers!!! welcome...welcome..*shakes hands)