I wave goodbye to Lauren and Kai as they leave on their date. Lauren was just walking around the school with me but Kai finally found her and apparently…they have a date. So I was forced to give up Lauren to her boyfriend…not that she didn’t try resisting. She thrashed around a little and Kai had to use more strength than necessary to pull her away, promising her that they can get the butter popcorn this time instead of caramel. I think that was what she wanted to hear. She had…this evil glint in her eyes when they left, arms linked together and she skipped a little bit. Funny…it was just minutes ago she was insisting on staying with me and gossiping…

“Ouch.” Walking and thinking at the same time has taken away my senses because I have just walked into the wall. I step back and rub my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut. My head spins and I sway on my spot. But even with my eyes closed, I can hear two familiar voices around the corner… I ignore the constant thump thump in my hollow head and make my way to the source of the commotion.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t sound good to me…”

“Yeah, Kris. What else am I supposed to do? Wait around? Let him get her?”

Silence. Deep thoughtful silence between the two, Luhan waiting for Kris to give up and admit the ringing truth in Luhan’s words but Kris isn’t one to back down. He thinks of things thoroughly before uttering anything, so… I guess I expected his stubborn answer.

“No. But, just…it’s not right. Well, I am not the boss of you, I’m just your friend. So I guess, whatever you want to do then…or whatever you think is right…” I can hear Kris’ hesitation… a certain aversion to whatever Luhan’s idea is. What can it be? I wonder…

Luhan sighs heavily, and I can hear exhaustion and desperation…resignation, even. I never… knew… or saw Luhan like this…He is always so bubbly and cheery in front of me. I guess everyone has something to hide…But seeing or picturing his expression right now…it pains me. My sweet, happy Luhan…

“I…don’t know what to do anymore, Kris. Okay? I guess, we’ll just see what happens… I…I just need her to be happy and smile…for me.”

Luhan must have started playing with his pockets again because I can hear the familiar sound of his jeans rustling.

“I know, Luhan. You mean well. I know you’re a good guy. That’s why I’m friends with you, right?” Kris jokes. I can hear him trying to cheer Luhan up…giving him hope for…this thing he plans on doing or something. To who though? Who’s the ‘her’ they are talking about? Curiosity makes its way slowly to my head.

Luhan laughs lightly and I glow inside. I feel better now, knowing that he can still be his laughing self. I already miss his laugh. I cover my mouth, laughing silently myself.

“Sure, Kris. I think it’s the other way around though. I … gotta go now. I think…yeah, I think I have to go,” Luhan says it monotonously, as if he doesn’t believe in his own words, trying to convince a hidden part of him that he does need to go.

“Alright. Well, good luck? Whatever happens, I’m here for you, bro,” Kris says in high spirits, compensating for Luhan’s opposite response.

“Yeah…thanks, Kris.”

When I don’t hear anything else, I start walking away from the scene, taken aback by what I have heard. I feel my legs carrying me away, step by step, away from the two boys and the secret they share.

“Kimmy?” Luhan calls out in surprise, and I turn to face him hastily, as a reflex. Shocked by the fact that he is just a few feet behind me, I quickly recompose my face to throw away any suspicion.

“Why are you here, Luhan?”

“Nothing…just catching up with Kris. You?”

“Nothing, just…walking around.”

Luhan starts striding my way, a conflicted look in his face.

“Kimmy, I have something to tell you. Can you come with me?” he pleads me with his doe eyes and a small smile.

“O-okay?” I answer doubtfully. He takes it as a yes and pulls me somewhere. I follow him, racking my brain as to what could he possibly have to say. It is probably something silly as usual. It’s Luhan we are talking about here.

“Good. Here, I have something to…never mind, just follow me,” he smiles a little nervously and keeps pulling me to a familiar direction. I shrug and do as he says.

It turns out that he…took me to my bench with Baekhyun. Our bench. Weird.

The breeze is cool on my skin, blowing my hair here and there with its weak push. Luhan glances back past his shoulders to me every once in a while and I see him from the corner of my eyes. When our eyes do meet, he just smiles at me nonchalantly.

“Okay, what’s up, Lulu?” I ask, once we have stopped nearby a familiar giant tree. Its leaves are fighting the breeze to stay stuck on the tree branches. Meanwhile, Luhan looks at me hesitantly before looking up to the sky and then smiling a little. Its really mysterious how his mind works. He blinks once and then sets his deep brown eyes on mine with intensity.

“Kimmy…Kim Soo Joon…I am head over heels in love with you. I don’t know how I fell so hard for you, but everything you do…it just makes me fall deeper each time. I know you don’t like cheesy stuff and all I am saying right now is cheesy, but I don’t care. I don’t. Because I can’t seem to make you see and understand whatever I try to do to get your attention. I love everything about you, Kimmy, can’t you see that? You are the only one who can make me smile like this…like how I have been smiling ever since we first met. You…you’re special to me. Seeing you…makes me feel warm inside. It sounds funny right now, but I swear Kimmy, I feel like I am eating ten thousand chocolate cakes whenever I see you. And…I wonder…if you maybe feel the same way…about me…” Luhan blushes a little, eyes burning with fierce pride and determination. His jaw is set and his hands are still on mine, entangled.

I let my mouth open, gaping at the…confession that has escaped from Luhan’s lips. My mind is whirring and trying hard to take everything in, compressing it all into my head, but for some reasons, I can’t. Luhan…in love…me. I…

“I-I-…Luhan, I…”I stammer and I didn’t ask for my hands to grip his tighter, but they did. And the next thing I know…

Luhan holds my face in his hands and leans in. Still stammering like an idiot, he silences me with a kiss…a sweet, slow-moving kiss. His lips presses against mine, warmth and heat passing between us in just one spot. My eyes are closed…I don’t even know when I closed them, but they are closed alright. His lips move against mine and...I feel numb. My lips close and he keeps his on mine. My legs are turning to jelly and I feel a wave of emotions take over me. Happy that he loves me…angry that he is kissing me…confused…if I really am angry at him for kissing me…confused if I feel the same way towards him…What do I do now?

Thankfully, I didn’t have to decide anything…but of course that comes with a heavy price.

“Kimmy?”

We break apart and I stare as I gasp too audibly. Luhan looks over to the boy who interrupted us. A shocked Baekhyun with his eyes wide and unmistakable disbelief branded on his face…Oh gosh…No…

“Baekhyun, it’s not what you think it i-,” I start to say but Baekhyun cuts me coldly.

“I think it’s exactly what I think it is. Sorry, I should give you guys privacy. My apologies,” Baekhyun’s eyes are cold and empty. They are…scarily hollow. His tone was so unlike Baekhyun… He turns sharply and walks away in big steps, almost hurrying away.

I am at a complete loss of what I am going to do or am supposed to do. I look longingly at Baekhyun, getting further and further away from me. I want to go after him…tell him this is all a mistake. I want to go chase after him. That’s all I want to do…

But then I tear my eyes away from him and look at Luhan…He…is hurt. He has a pained expression, a pained smile accompanied by sad, understanding eyes. It is breaking my heart.

“Lulu, no, I…I won’t go after Baekhyun. I …I can’t give you an answer now. I don’t know the answer myself. But please…Lulu, promise me something. Please.”

“Anything for you, Kimmy,” he says with a bitter smile.

“We can still be friends right? Whatever happens? I…don’t want to lose you as my best friend. I may not know about anything else right now, but I am sure of that… at the very least, I love you as my best friend, Lulu. I…can’t imagine…”

“Yeah, Kimmy. I won’t give you up as my best friend just like that,” Luhan mutters and he pulls me for a hug to make his point. It feels empty. Although his hands are around my neck and my hands are around his waist…although his face is buried into my hair and I can smell his cologne as usual…it doesn’t feel the same. Something is separating us. There is now an invisible barrier.

And there is nothing I can do to fix it for now. 

A/N: So...short chapter... sorry for that and i havent updated in such a long time!! OTL ugh i am abcacasjcaskjcs HORRIBLE. 

but...so yeah, tadaa....surprise for y'all...LOL what do you think is going to happen now????!!! i will update again probably tomorrow or this weekend woowoo!

So Abbeyy... being THE SWEETEST CORNBALL UNICORN GULL IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE HJVSBSJHVBSJDVBSDJHCBJHBASDCBSDC MADE ME ANOTHER POSTER <3 DO YOU GUYS LUUURRRVEE IT??? BECAUSE I DO I SO VERY BERY DO...*SIGHS DREAMILY* CHAJABCAJSCBASJCASC

i can't spazz enough OTL 

but it is quite late nao... and well... its 5:18 am here and im dying for sleep because tomorrow i am going somewhere veyr important HEHEHEHEH TROLOLOL JK i am going to see KL-Mars tomorrow \o/ I CANNOT 

So yes...and i watched the movie The Host today.. ONE OF THE BESTEST SCI FI MOVIE EVER WAIT IS IT EVEN SCI FI?!! BUT ID RATE IT 10/10!!!! YOU GUYS AND GULLS SHOULD WATCH IF YOU HAVE TIME BAHAHHA