On my table… is a bouquet of white roses and a small red box with a pink ribbon on it. I can tell Luhan took time to make the box himself. I blush madly and hide part of my face behind the notebook in my hand as I stand in front of the table.

“Kimmy! Do you like it? I’m sorry I left you the other day. And… this is just something so you’ll forgive me,” he starts bawling dramatically on the floor, taking my hand in his and shaking them. The whole class has its attention on us and I start hissing at Luhan.

“Lulu, get up. Now now. Oh gosh. Oh no. Lulu, shhh, I forgive you. It’s nothing. Oh no,” I start whispering madly and he sniggers and finally stands up. He pulls me to my seat and I just stare at the box and the roses. What girl wouldn’t dream of any guy doing this for them? Forget any guy… it’s Luhan…

“Kimmy, sorry. Do you like them? Open the box now,” he urges me, his voice filled with excitement. I nod vigorously and flash a grin at him. A really happy one from the bottom of my heart.

“Lulu, you didn’t have to,” I start and look guiltily at him. Why am I even guilty? Odd.

“No, I insist! I didn’t get you anything for our date anyway, so yeah,” he looks down and pouts his lips.

“Lulu.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the best,” I say. And just like that he beams and his whole body lights up. It seems like he radiates happiness.

“Thank you, Kimmy,” he mumbles with a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. I laugh and open the red box. And inside, is a pink frosted chocolate cupcake with a smiley face on it. He really knows how to make a girl’s heart flutter and just melt, doesn’t he?

“Aw, Lulu…” I am just awe-struck at his sweet gesture.

“I knew it. Pink was the way to go,” he makes a fist pumping motion while whispering to himself. Wow, smooth.

“Eat it, Kimmy. Go go.”

“No, I want to save it for later, can I?”

“Okay, but let me know if its disgusting. Because I will make you another one,” he nods his head with a determined look on his face. I laugh and he joins me. It’s too bad, the teacher comes in and starts giving us the watchful eyes. I think I have had enough of the teacher’s attention on me today. Maybe Luhan feels the same way, or maybe he just didn’t want to get me into trouble, but when the bell finally rings, I am amazed we didn’t talk or play a game at all. Maybe a couple of playful nudges, but that was it. I saw Luhan’s head lolling to the side, so when I nudged him, he jerked violently and mumbles a “thanks” to the immensely amused, yours truly.

“Kimmy, can I talk to you?” A deep voice comes up behind me. I sigh.

“Lulu, see you tomorrow? Thanks for the cake and flowers,” I give him a tight hug and he squeezes me for a second before letting go.

“Bye, Kimmy,” he waves and strolls out the class. I gather my belongings and walk outside with the boy towering over me. I think he is following my lead, as I walk out the school building. The breath of fresh air lifts my mood. School is finally done for today. Plus, I never actually paid attention to how pretty my bench is in the day. All this time I have only appreciated its function at night. With the leaves rustling against each other, and a few falling out and onto the bench, it makes for a pleasant view. I don’t know if this is the place to talk to him, though. I feel like this is a private place…for me and Baekhyun. That anyone else coming here with me is an invasion of privacy… it’s no longer sacred.

“What’s up, Kris?”

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, a little unnerved. “I didn’t do it.”

A smile creeps up my face. A thankful one. He does value our friendship. For a moment there, I thought … I was scared…that he would pick the other one. I know that he wanted to go out with that despicable girl for me but he really didn’t need to. He’s my priority, not me.

“I’m so sorry, Kimmy. This is all so absurd. I didn’t know it would lead to this…” he explains.

“It’s okay, Kris. I really don’t want you to sacrifice your happiness for mine. Who’s to say she would fix all this anyway? I don’t trust her,” I snort.

“Yeah. But you…don’t even deserve this. You had nothing to do with all this chaotic mess,” he waves his hands wildly in the air, motioning for some sort of invisible tangle of mess.

“Kris, listen to me. You’ve done a lot for me. I mean, being my friend itself is enough to show me what kind of person anyone is. And… I look up to you. You’re like…my older brother. I would fight anything and anyone just so you won’t have to deal with stuff like this,” I make a disgusted face at the invisible Mai standing somewhere in front of me. Silence pass between us. The wind speaks in our place, blustering quite loudly, blowing both our hair out of place. The difference is, Kris still looks like a model while I look like someone who hasn’t brushed her hair for weeks. Kris keeps quiet and looks in the distance, deep in thought. He frowns a little and then smiles a little, I noticed. Watching him entertains me.

“Kimmy, you are my idol. You have no idea. You’re so strong,” he says as he looks at me with a sense of pride and deep appreciation.

“I do it for people who matters. It’s nothing.”

“Thank you, Kimmy. I owe you a lot. And…you’re wrong. It isn’t nothing. It means a lot to me,” he sighs and leans back, his arms resting on the bench.

“Bubble tea, please. And cheesecake,” I clap my hands and laugh gleefully. He mutters something under his breath and rolls his eyes. For some reason, I find the whole situation funny. I start laughing madly until I have tears in my eyes and Kris just watches me with a bemused look. I finally stop, wiping away the drops on my lashes.

“I already have someone in my heart, Kimmy,” he turns to me and smiles the widest that I have seen Kris does. In that moment…he looks completely blissful and happy, albeit a little shy. He… looks so lost and drowned in love, so blinded. In a good way.

“I knew it,” I laugh again.

“Huh? How? Did you steal my cell phone or something?” he starts fumbling with something in his pocket.

“No, silly. I saw you almost drooling one day in class, and I saw a girl’s name on your notebook too, amidst all that… nicely-written notes of the lecture,” I chortle.

“Oh,” he looks away bashfully. How cute, the fierce Kris is actually being all shy.

“She must be really pretty and nice,” I wonder out loud.

“She’s so quiet and cute. And I don’t know if she likes me back. She’s not from this school, but we hang out a lot because my friends from the school across introduced us. And ever since we met, I don’t know… I just really like her,” he confesses. Now, I really have no regrets forcing him to not get near Mai. If he did, what would happen to the girl?

“I’m sure she does, Kris. Who can resist you?”

He winks at me playfully and I gag. “But seriously though, really? You think so?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I know so. I think she is just too scared to get into things too fast. Maybe it’ll happen soon though. Don’t worry about it,” I pat his back in an attempt to cheer him up.

“Thanks, Kimmy. You are really the nicest person I have ever met in my entire life.”

“Nah, can’t be. The nicest person has to be Mai,” I joke.

“Okay, the next time Mai tries anything funny, you have to tell me, okay?” he switches from the softer Kris to the stern Kris.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I can take care of it myself,” I answer airily.

“No, Kimmy. Promise me that if there is anything I can do for you, you must tell me. Oh wait…why don’t I tell Mai that I already like another girl?” he is struck with a new and apparently revolutionary idea, as seen from his awed expression.

“Oh no, Kris. No. You know she would just think that its me, and we all know its going to be much worse. So you just go on your little mission to snatch that lady’s heart and sweep her off her feet, okay?” I punch him lightly on the arm and he sighs in defeat. He knows I am right.

“Fine. But, just let me know…if anything,” he repeats.

“Okay,” I agree nonchalantly. The sky is getting darker. Usually, I would stay longer, but my  legs are getting cold from the strong gusts of wind. I stand up and Kris follows me. We start walking back to school, our pace matching. The warmth is comforting once in a while, and this is such instance.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kris already starts walking in the opposite direction, with a smile stuck on his face.

“Of course. Bye,” I wave back and I can hear his indistinct “bye”. I return to my room, a little disgruntled over the addition of new flyers with new pictures and words, advertising my apparent “matchmaking” and “personal service” availability. It disgusts me, it repels me, it repulses me. By the time  I am done showering and ready to do my homework, I am still fuming but I don’t think those pieces of paper should stay in my mind.

“Oh Baek, why…” I scratch all over the empty piece of paper that was my victim of desecration. I was browsing over my notes before doing my homework and the heart doodle caught my eye. It is mind-boggling. Why? Maybe it really meant nothing. I am just over thinking this. Why would Baekhyun feel anything…for me. He is already attracted to girl, isn’t he? Yeah he is. Or why would he not try to converse with me?

I start integrating some weird functions in math. It is quite sad that math is sometimes my best friend. We have a complex relationship. I hate it, and I don’t think it enjoys my vile obscenities whenever I fail to answer a question. But its logicality is my anchor to sanity. At least there are still things in this world that I can comprehend. At least there are questions that I can still answer.

Then there is Luhan. I think…he is wrong. Wrong of the way he thinks of me. Too highly, I suppose. It scares me and amazes me at the same time. It is baffling. There are plenty of girls that I could set him up with and I think he will just be as attracted to them as he is to me…what am I even saying? Now I feel conceited. Luhan doesn’t feel that way about me. He is just lonely, I think. He needs to spend more time with other girls. I make a mental note to remind him of that. Clearly, he needs to expand his field of research.

On the other hand, I also need to set my mind straight. I shouldn’t think about Baekhyun or Luhan. Baekhyun is just being friendly as always. And Luhan needs to get out more. I exhale loudly and snap my notebook and textbook shut. Finally. It is surprising how I have quite a range of classes but all I seem to have to do everyday is math. Hmm.

It is even more surprising, that I yawned. It is currently 11:45. Quite early by my usual standard, but my eyes are getting heavier. I open my curtains to let the moonlight dance around my room before turning the lights off and curling up in bed. Yeah, something is definitely wrong with me lately.