I yawn and stretch my arms and legs in unison. Today is going to be a really long day. I have done all my homework, and Luhan is busy with his dance practice, so I can’t bother him in his room at all and vice versa. I sigh loudly to myself, irked by this…this emptiness. I walk over to my bookshelf and take out one of my favorite books. My Sister’s Keeper. The pages are yellowing at the edges from its age but the rustling of the paper pages excites me. I jump over to my bed and lie down, flat on my stomach, my eyes scanning over the small print hungrily. Minutes pass…

Knock knock.

“Huh?” I jump a little, taken by surprise out of the world of Anna and Kate’s cancer. I let my finger slide over the top corner of the page and make a little folding mark on it before dropping it. I skip my way to the door, wondering who could have come at such a time.

“Hey Kimmy.”

“Hi Baek, what’s up?” My face breaks into a smile, naturally. I try hard to suppress it, failing miserably as I do so.

“Nothing actually. And… I was walking by a shop just now, and I saw something that reminded me of you, so I came here to present it to reindeer princess,” he chuckles, his hands out and holding out a small mysterious bag. It’s green and has funny patterns all over it.

“Aw, Baekhyun, you really are too nice to me. I may have to start crying tears of joy soon,” I fake wiping a tear off and sniff. He looks away as he laughs quietly while shaking his head.

“It’s nothing, Kimmy, just take it.”

“Seriously, Baek. Thank you, I appreciate it a lot,” I look at him straight in the eyes and before I can stop myself, I give him a very quick hug. He seem to be taken by surprise too, just as I am because I can feel him inhale sharply and relaxing just after I detach myself from him, my face burning. To hide the possible blush emerging on my cheeks, I look down at my feet, pretending to be busy. Baekhyun coughs and clears his throat, as if a little nervous. Why is he nervous…? I don’t get it… Wait, forget him…why am I nervous? Why are my hands becoming clammy?

“Do you want to come in? Well, unless you have anything to do…” I trail off, tearing my gaze away from him and concentrating at a random spot on the wall behind him. Somehow looking into his eyes makes my heart drop a little. Not very good when trying to make sense of what I’m saying.

“Oh, I don’t have anything to do actually. So, sure I guess,” he smiles and scratches the back of his head. I step back to let him in, the bag he gave me still nestled safely at the crook of my fingers.

“Where did you go?” I ask him conversationally. I wonder if he was out with another girl… I shouldn’t even be thinking this. This is…No, I cannot be thinking like this. I scold myself mentally.

“Oh, I just went with my friends to the shops near the other school. It’s quite big actually. I’ll take you there next time, if you want,” he grins and sits down on my chair, crossing his legs easily. I sit on my bed across him. Being stuck in a single room dorm, it’s small space only gave me enough to put a desk right across my bed, with a path wide enough to walk pass by, but not for another chair or sofa unlike the two or three roomed dorms.

“That sounds fun. I’d love to go,” I grin.

“Have you seen inside the bag, Kimmy?”

“Nope. I am going to save it for later,” I say proudly.

 “But I want to see your reaction,” he whines a little like a lost puppy and I cover my mouth as I laugh.

“Okay, fine. Here goes nothing,” I sigh and put the bag on my lap. I carefully pluck the tape out of the top and dig my hand in. It feels like…a box. I take it out and hold it to eye level.

“This is…wow,” I whisper, amazed at the sight of a box of white chocolate pieces shaped like ballerinas striking different poses, their eyes closed and with grace sculpted even in their chocolate bodies. The tiny details like their fingers and toes and face are done perfectly. Their tutus are the only ones in different colours. Pink, purple and even some with sparkles. I wonder if they are even edible…

“Do you like it?” Baekhyun breaks the silence.

“Like it? I love it! Thank you so much, Baek!” I squeal and scrunch my face together in excitement, clamping my fingers on the box as if it will make me tone down my energy. Baekhyun responds with a wide and happy smile.

“I knew it. It’s not a princess, but I thought you’d like them. You like chocolates right?”

“Yeah, I love chocolates. How did you know?”

“I saw some on your table by accident yesterday. They were cute.” His eyes roam around the table next to him and settle on the very box Lulu gave me.

“Yeah, aren’t they? Luhan gave it to me. Guess I have more sugar to keep me up at night,” I say lightly. I see Baekhyun’s eyes blink in surprise before resuming his typical smiling eyes look…a little crinkled at the corners.

“Oh? That’s…nice of him,” he comments.

“Yeah…hey, can I ask you something?” I can’t seem to control my own physical movements today.

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“What happened to that girl…” I wonder aloud.

“What girl?” he looks at me expectantly, willing me to continue his eyes ablaze with curiosity.

“I remember you said…well, I don’t know if it’s a girl, I just assumed…you said she makes you feel isolated,” I mutter. I start tugging a loose stitch from my blanket, suddenly becoming jittery. I don’t think I want to look at him, but I do anyway. His face goes blank and a slowly, realization dawns on him.

“Oh. That. I…it’s nothing,” he pulls off a forced smile, easily seen through.

“Really? You know you can tell me if you want Baek,” I say quietly. I don’t want to force him, but I crave knowing…who is this girl? Is there even one? Or am I just deluded? Why do I want to know so badly? These questions cloud my head and start to swim around in front of me.

“I don’t feel like talking about it,” he answers a little sharply. I purse my lips and try to not feel scared.

“Sorry I asked,” I say without looking at him. Am I mad? No, not at all…I can’t be mad at him for not telling me…it’s none of my business…of course…I am completely fine with it.

Ugh, this is a joke.

“Sorry…I just…yeah…”

Silence again. It seems like Baekhyun is just a big ball of complexity. I can’t predict his mood or his thoughts. He will never open up to me. I can’t open up to him either, then. What we need is some sort of connection…something. Just something to make the chemistry flow again.

“How are you and Luhan?” This time he is the one asking. He drops a hint of …resentment.

“As usual. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing. He just seems a little busy these past few days…and I know you guys are close…so, I was just asking.”

Is that why he’s here? To keep me company? That’s it?

“No, that’s not why I’m here,” Baekhyun says softly, and I turn to look at him. Did I just say that out loud? Regret floods me, washing over my face. His eyes are imploring mine…to do what though? He is too cryptic for me to decode anything.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” I say truthfully.

“I figure. Is that why you think I’m here? Because Luhan asked me to?”

“…I don’t know.” Again, I am speaking the truth. Because in all honesty, I don’t know. I need time to think… He is basically backing me up into a corner.

“Oh. Well, then I guess I should leave… you can go back to reading. See you around?” He gets up to leave and smiles, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. They aren’t cold, but not warm either. They…are blank. Void.

“Wait, Baek?” I get up as well and make a motion to grab his hands but I stop myself. He is not my captive. He is free to leave and he has no reason to stay here if he doesn’t want to.

“Yeah?” He turns back, halfway to the door.

What was I about to say? I want to say something to …make him stay. Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean it. I am being stupid. Baekhyun, stay. Wait.

“Thanks…” Instead that was al I could say. Baekhyun falters in his move to leave and opens his mouth.

“Anytime, princess,” he replies smoothly but lacking in sincerity. He opens the door and leaves without his warm smile that is comforting for me. I trudge back in the room angrily but I put the box of chocolate on the table, next to Luhan’s. A panda is smiling up at me but I grumble.

Stupid Baekhyun with his stupid chocolates. Stupid Panda. Why did he even leave anyway? Stupid stupid stupid.

I reach out and open the box, my fingers passing by a ballerina with plain white tutu. She has her arms around her head and feet poised and bent so it looks like she is making a triangle. I pop it in my mouth.

Stupid sweet chocolate.

Stupid sweet Baekhyun. 

A/N: oooooh...someone's angwy.