I wave goodbye to Kris and walk to my next class.

“Hey! Move!” I hear a familiar voice in the hall. I feel someone messing up my hair right before I get in the class, early as usual.

“Hi Chanyeol, what’s up?” I ask, without even looking. Only a 24/7 hyper person like him would do something like this.

“Hi! You didn’t see me in the canteen just now! And I saw you walk alone, so I thought I’d come and say hi! So, hi!” His smile stretches all the way from one end of his face to the other. I swear, no one else can smile like him. It’s hilarious to watch, so I laugh.

“You are so funny! I have to go to class now. See you tomorrow, Yeol!” I wave to him and walk in, knowing that if I don’t start walking, we will never part. He sticks on to me like a barnacle to rocks.

He waves back energetically at me and disappears from the doorway.

Again I settle for the seat second row from the back. This time though, someone’s there already.

“Hi Kimmy,” Baekhyun beams at me.

“Hi, Baekhyun, how come you’re so early?” I smile back at him.

“Oh, I read the clock wrong,” he looks down on the table, pretending to be interested in that little dent to spare him from embarrassment. I don’t care if he’s not looking. I giggle at his silliness.

“Don’t make me feel even worse,” he groans and covers his face.

“Me? Make you feel worse? Never!” I exclaim, as if outrage by such an idea.

“I’m going to pretend you don’t exist.” He blows his fringe away from his eyes and looks away.

“Fine, I’m sorry! But it was too funny…,” I try to reason with this boy.

“I’m kidding too! I can’t ignore you,” he grins.

I open my mouth to tell him off, but the teacher comes in and silence falls in the class. This teacher is scary.

I don’t talk to Baekhyun or exchange notes with him because, first, the teacher is scary. Second, Baekhyun looks like he is more interested in listening to the teacher than exchanging notes with me. To my surprise, my heart falls a little.

But essentially, I’ve never really connected with him. He’s just that… composed guy. I’d love to get inside that wall, but he doesn’t really let me in. Only occasionally. Well maybe a little more than occasionally.

Sometimes I catch him looking at me, but I don’t like to give myself hope. Or well, wait… what am I even talking about? Hope? Hope for what exactly?

A tap on my elbow wakes me up from my reverie.

It’s Baekhyun. And he’s chuckling.

“Class is over, daydreamer. Come on, I’ll walk you to your next class?” he smiles, making it hard to refuse his offer.

“Thanks, appreciate it, Baek,” I smile back at him sincerely. He is such a gentleman. Maybe that’s why he’s one of the only guys I’ve never really thought of matching up with the other girls.

None of them are good enough for him.

None of them match.

Baekhyun walks beside me all the way to the third floor, where I’m having my last class of the day.

“Bye, Kimmy. Have fun in class,” his eyes twinkle. I can see he’s teasing me.

“Bye Baek,” I give him a sour face and he walks away, laughing.

I can see some jealous girls giving him looks. He noticed and gives them friendly smiles, which I bet, makes their heart flutter.

I shake my head and walk in the class.

“Kimmy! Here!”

I hear a loud whisper just in the corner of the class and I turn around abruptly so that a guy behind me bumped into me.

“Hey! Watch it!”

The boy who whispered to me is now raising his voice.

“Sorry, geez, she stopped too suddenly,” the guy behind me apologized to Luhan.

“Lulu, that was my fault you know,” I scolded him before turning around and then apologizing to the other guy.

“Why did you have to shout? How embarrassing,” I pout and bury my face in my arms when I finally settled down beside Luhan.

“Because that wasn’t your fault and it’s mine and I didn’t want to say sorry… and he bumped into you. Now don’t go all moody on me,” Luhan grins and cheekily pokes my cheek.

I grumble and swat his hand away, reminded of how I did something like this to Kris just this morning. I must have annoyed him.

“Stop, the teacher’s here,” I raise my head and Luhan stops poking me.

But he doesn’t stop trying to get my attention.

I sigh as he leans his head on my shoulder, like a little boy. His fluffy light brown hair tickles my chin.

“Luhan, I’m supposed to be leaning on you, not the other way around,” I mutter under my breath.

I’m not going to lie though, sometimes I enjoy the attention he gives me. He makes me feel… special and loved.

“Okay, fine,” he grumbles and sits up straight.

The whole class is just a boring mess of algebra and numbers. I can’t wait to go back to my room and just finish the homework.

And that is exactly what I did.

After hugging Luhan goodbye, I walk straight to my room, not passing by the library where Lauren is every Monday and Wednesday. She texted me that that she’s busy today, so I won’t even bother.

The white door is a boring sight, but comforting nonetheless.

I insert my key and turned the knob before pushing the door. Finally, home sweet home.

I changed into my home shorts and t-shirt before blasting music and starting with my homework. Although my fingers are moving and my brain is answering the questions, I couldn’t help but feel a little distracted.

Kris turned Mai down? What are the rest of the students going to say? How did Mai react?

I’m worried for Kris.

No, I am not jealous. I am worried.

He’s like…my brother. Yeah, that’s it, my brother.

A very protective brother. I mean he was there when I told him my insecurity issues.

And he was the one who told me to never think of what anyone has to say about me.

That I am just beautiful the way I am.

I never forgot his words.

And Baekhyun… I wish I can find someone to make him happy. Like the way Kai looks happy and overjoyed all the time with Lauren. I wish I can be like Lauren, I admit a little envious.

Truthfully, I’ve never talked about this with anyone. I’ve always wondered what would it be like to have a boyfriend. To have someone who loves you no matter what. To have someone bring you ice cream when you’re having one of those bad days. To have someone give you little surprises. To have someone…look lovingly at you…

I exhale and close my notebook. Done.

I’m one of those productive students. Which does not help since I need my distraction at night when I can’t rest my eyes.

I check the time. 11:45. It’s too early for bed, so I decide to go for a walk outside. The night air is always refreshing.

I slip on a pair of jeans and my black jacket. I like to blend in with the night.

I walk quietly in the hall, careful not to make a noise, which I’m pretty good in doing. I use the emergency staircase to sneak out the building. When I finally open the door, the chilly air greets me, jabbing at my skin.

I shiver and walk in the cold. I never understand why, but I enjoy the cold. The feeling of being numb to the cold after a while. It’s like exposing yourself to pain, which kills your feelings sooner or later.

I walk to the bench under the lamp near a tree: my favorite spot to be alone in.

But tonight, someone’s there too.

A silhouette of a boy hunching is back under the light.

I approach cautiously. That looks a lot like…

The boy turns around when I step on a dead leaf.

“Hi Kimmy, what are you doing here so late?”

His voice sounds like velvet against the harsh night air.

Baekhyun peers at me over his shoulder.

“Hi Baekhyun. It’s kind of my habit to walk around at this time,” I laugh easily. The night air gives me a feeling of freedom I thought, as I feel more comfortable around Baekhyun this time than in class.

 I walk around the bench and sit next to him, with my hands in my pocket so they’re not exposed to the wind.

Baekhyun is also wearing a black jacket. I wonder if he thinks the same way I do…

“It is?” he’s a little taken aback.

“Yeah, I’m insomniac. And I guess I like the cold,” I admit. I think I’m revealing too much of myself to him.

But he just shrugs and smiles to himself… or maybe it’s meant for me?

“I’m not an insomniac, but I like staying up late. The stars are so pretty tonight,” he murmurs as he gazes at the sky in admiration.

I wish someone will look at me the same way, with those eyes that ooze adoration.

“They are. I never noticed,” I agree. I look up at the night sky, decorated lavishly with shining dots of glitter.

“Well I guess that’s just one more thing you fail to notice,” Baekhyun chortles.

“Huh? What else do I fail to notice exactly?” I turn to look at him and squint my eyes, trying to squeeze the truth out of him.

He just shakes his head at me and looks down on the ground.

“Kimmy… do you ever feel so… isolated? And ignored?” he suddenly asks.

“Hm? You feel that way?” I ask. My heart falls as I thought, who would dare ignore him like that. Who can’t give him the attention he wants? I clench my fist.

“Sometimes. But anyways, I have no right to expect anything from her anyways. I’m going to sleep now, Kimmy. I’ll walk you back? It’s not safe outside at this time,” he gives me one of his angelic smile again and I melt at the sight.

“Okay,” I stand up and walk alongside him, secretly crumbling down a little inside.

Who’s that girl?

When he drops me off in front of my room and waves goodbye, that was still the only thought in my head.

Who’s that girl?

How did I not see this?

With that thought tugging at my heart, I fell into an uneasy asleep.