I wake up feeling a little happier, despite the cold tickling my feet that is …apparently left out of my big warm blanket last night. I shower and get dressed quickly, impatient to get to class and tell Kris about my good weekend. And of course, ask him about his. As I lock my dorm, I ignore the flutter of flyers all around it, with derogatory words written in red markers. When in a situation like this, I should just ignore it and keep calm. I can’t let them get to me… I already have an angel…don’t I? I smile to myself and bit my lip to stop a giggle that is coming on. As I walk past the hall, a few groups of people put their hands up to their mouth and start whispering, looking at me up and down. High school students here can really redefine the meaning of immaturity.

I rush into the class, where oddly enough, Kris is waiting for me, with his head resting on the table, eyes drooping drowsily.

“Why are you even awake?” I poke his sides playfully and he groans.

“Because I am a nice giant dragon. Now stop the torture,” he swats my hands away and I start cracking up. He turns his head the other way and I realize that we are sitting in the seat at the corner and right at the back of the classroom. Wow, I feel so isolated.

Kris finally sits up straight and rubs his eyes before blinking a few times to adjust them.

“The dragon has awakened. How come you didn’t yawn?” I ask, curious. He rolls his eyes and I can see that he is probably giving himself a mental smack in the face.

“Uh Kimmy, why do I have to yawn again? Only silly sleepy pigs yawn all the time,” he smirks, pointing an accusatory finger under the table at me. I gasp and dramatically hold my hand over my chest, appalled at this unkind gesture.

“But seriously, Kimmy, I need to talk to you.” His face stops smiling, and takes on a neutral expression. I think Kris needs to be an actor, at the rate that he can change his facial expression and all…and of course, his killer good looks.

“Okay, what?” I flip my book open and tap my pencil on the thick pages so we don’t draw the teacher’s attention on us, the kids who sit at the back looking dodgy and completely missing out on the teacher’s lecture.

“I saw the flyers,” his lips twitch, trying to contain an emotion.

“Yeah, me too,” I smile and shrug noncommittally. He sighs heavily and mutters a few words under his breath. I caught “serious…idiot…why…even…gosh”.  

He finally exhales loudly and bore his eyes on mine, dark as night sky.

“I’m going to date Mai,” he says. I can’t even hear what he’s saying right now.

“Huh? I can’t…what?” I splutter, flabbergasted.

“I. Am. Going. To. Date. Mai.” He repeats each syllabus, whispering quite loudly.

“No, I know… wait what?” I repeat, still spluttering. I can’t even get this through my head. Kris? Mai? What? Date? Huh? As in … go out….? What?

My puzzled expression remains on my face for quite some time, still dazed from the Kris’ announcement. Its more dramatic than if he announces his marriage to an alpaca. I am not even kidding.

“Kimmy, are you there?” he waves frantically in front of my glazed eyes and gaping mouth.

“Kris, do you have anything interesting to say to the class?” the professor calls on him and once again, everyone turns to us to watch. But no, not even that was enough to make me revert back to my normal face.

“No, professor. I was trying to write down notes, see?” Kris miraculously draws up his fully written page of notebook and shows it to the frowning teacher.

“Hm. Right, listen next time. And… will you please fix up Kimmy?” he clicked his tongue disapprovingly and Kris grunts. “Kimmy, will you wake up?”

I snap out of it and start steaming. I can feel myself getting red and agitated.

“Wu Yi Fan, you stupid boy. Why? Why? Why? Did you fall in love with her or something? Did you get a love potion? I knew that girl’s a witch!” I start spouting less than nice words under my breath.

“Oh gosh, Kimmy. Will you cool down a little? I’m doing this for you, okay? I don’t like how she’s attacking you,” his eyes go dark and filled with pure fury.

“Kris… thanks, but…you idiot. Why do you think I put up with all this?” I answer, exasperatedly but still whispering. I don’t wait for him to answer. He starts to open his mouth but I interject.

“So you won’t end up with someone like her. She’s disgusting and you obviously deserve someone better. This is stupid. What is the point of all this then? I might as well announce to all of them they are right, I am an emo kid who has childhood issues and whose dad is a drunk. You…you…” I take a deep breath and bury my face in my hands.

“Kimmy… you don’t have to do this. Really. Let me fix this. It’s all my fault,” his voice softens and his tone changes to a gentle, reassuring one.

“No. Don’t be ridiculous, Kris. This is nothing, okay? They can’t harm me with words,” I scoff. “Besides, I swear, that Mai girl… no, just no. I forbid you to even get near her. Or within 10 meters of her,” I shake my head.

“Kimmy. Stop. This is ridiculous. I have a class with her after this. I am still going to ask her to stop and that I agree to date her, as long as she cleans up this mess and your reputation.” He ends it with a sense of finality which stuns me. No, he can’t do this. Kris would usually reach to a compromise with me. No, he can’t do this. Not to himself. Not to me.

“Kris, I promise you. If you talk to her about this, I will… stop talking to you forever. I will pretend that we were never friends, because I won’t ever be able to forgive myself for this. If you do talk to her, you…betray me. And best friends don’t do that to each other. So, decide carefully,” I snap at him and grab my books, stuffing them roughly into my bag and rush out the classroom with the other students. I don’t look back to see Kris’ dumbfounded face. I’m sure he has plenty of things in his mind now.

I can’t see Lauren or Kai today since they’re busy with their class projects. Poor juniors, I thought. I lined up to get the fish and chips with chocolate cake but some girls immediately back up a few steps from me, leaving unnecessary space between us. They start giving me terrified looks mixed with disgust. Well this is no progression at all… I give them the cold shoulder and proceed to pay for my food. When I am done, I look around the cafeteria for an empty seat, luckily I spot one close to where I am. I start walking towards it, thinking of how good my lunch will be.

“Freak,” a boy snickers as he whizzes by me and his friends sitting a few tables away from me laugh obnoxiously loud. I smile in a sarcastic sweet way and settle down with my food. Considering the amount of food I started with, I eat pretty quickly. Within 10 minutes, the plate is cleared and so is the chocolate cake.

“Fattie,” another boy from the group calls out to me and I sigh as I dump the paper plate into the bin and walk away. My next class is with Baekhyun and the thought of meeting him again pushes my legs to walk faster.

“Hi Kimmy, you have something here,” Baekhyun points to the left corner of my lips, holding in a laugh.

“Huh?” I start putting my bag down and pull the chair up so I can sit. As you can see, I am a little distracted. He waits for me to sit and pull out a napkin from his pocket. He looks past my shocked face as he wipes something off from my lips and shows me a tiny chocolate stain from the napkin.

“I loved the chocolate cake today,” he chuckles and gets up to dispose of the napkin that has my chagrin written all over it. Oh wow Kimmy, way to present yourself in front of Baekhyun. I busy myself with my pencils and pens so I won’t have to look at him when he comes back.

“Hi,” and that’s the only thing he says after he is sitting next to me again. He gives me a dazzling smile so I can’t think. And … “Hi” is all I say back.

Maybe it’s my tiniest hint of blush that puts him off, but he starts looking out the window again, disturbed by a thought. Or maybe just distracted. What does Baekhyun think about? Girls? Studies? Food? I don’t know. I start doodling at the corner of my notebook. Sometime in the middle of the lecture, Baekhyun is back to earth from space. He drums his long fingers on the table inconspicuously and looks around the room. Finally, he settles his eyes on me. How do I know? Peripheral vision, that’s how. Plus, it helps that my long fringe covers my eyes, falling to the side of my head like a curtain, so I can spy on Baekhyun a little.

His hand reaches out to my book and I give him a strange look. But he doesn’t care. He takes my pink pencil and right next to the girl I drew, he draws… a heart. So simple, yet so pretty. So … meaningful. I start scrunching up my face, confused as to why he would suddenly draw a heart. He just shrugs and turns to face the teacher. Why? Why? Could it be…? No, Kimmy. Don’t over think this. Obviously it is just because he feels like drawing a heart…and he is good at it. Look at that perfectly shaped doodle right there. I only stop talking to myself when Baekhyun starts standing up and hovers around me, waiting so we can go out of class together.

“How are you, Kimmy?” he asks out of the blue as we try to dodge the group of people all around us, trying to get to their own classes in time.

“Oh, as usual, I’m okay,” I smile a little at him, but feeling a slight pang of guilt in my heart. I just threatened Kris just now, and … I don’t know if by the end of today, or…as of now…he still decides to choose our friendship over Mai. I know I gave him a hard choice, but he needs to know that I would bare through this for him, and it would be completely pointless for him to give us up now. Then who would look like the pathetic fool here? Who would look like the girl who forced Kris into a date or possibly… even relationship that he clearly doesn’t want. I shudder at the thought.

“Really? You know you should really lie better,” Baekhyun says, amused by my looking-away response.

“Okay, I’m just… could be better, but okay,” I admit.

“What’s up then?” he asks, concerned.

“Next time?” I cringe as I ask him, waiting for his refusal to have that as an answer.

“Okay. Have fun in math!” he grins and waves when I stop in front of my class. I wave a little less spiritedly than him, quite sad that he is walking away already. Too soon. Maybe a part of me wants him to actually insist that I tell him what's wrong. Maybe it's my excuse so he can wait for me again tonight. Wait, why am I thinking like that? He barely even talks to me. I shake my head and steps into the classroom.

Oh, Luhan, you sweet sweet boy… is the first thing I thought of when I enter.