The next few days…are a blur. It is crazy, but whenever I’m with Baekhyun, I think about Luhan. Whenever I’m with Luhan, I think of Baekhyun. Lauren thinks I am going mental but Kai thinks this is a normal case of love dilemma. Of course I have to wonder…since when did Kai learn the ways of being a love doctor? I might even have to admit the bitter truth…that sometimes his words are more sensible than Lauren’s. There, I said it.

“Kimmy, you can’t just make yourself choose one. That’s just like forcing yourself to choose ice cream or tofu. You can’t. You like both, and if you have to choose one, you’d be unhappy,” Kai says solemnly, eyes closed and nodding. Lauren grumbles as she pokes her food, not amused at all.

“What’s up, Lauren?” I ask, choosing to ignore Kai who has gone back to his food.

“Nothing, just school. Tell me, Kimmy. How is it fair that I am in charge of cleaning the lab every week for the rest of the semester all because the teacher doesn’t like me?” she whines. I really do pity her. I wonder what she did to displease the teacher since she usually has a very sweet demeanor and all.

“It’s not fair,” I shake my head and pat her back. She mutters under her breath and calls her teacher names that I refuse to ever mention again. Kai puts his arm around her and pulls her head to him. I think she looks a little less miserable now.

“I’ll help you clean up, then,” he says, grinning.

“Really? You would?” Lauren perks up.

“Yeah, of course. I don’t want you too tired. Then you’re just no fun to tease since you’ll be all grumpy,” he says honestly. She gives him a weird look.

“No way. When am I ever grumpy? And who says you can poke fun at me?” She puts her hands on her hips and Kai snorts. He pinches her cheek before giving her a sneaky kiss where his fingers were.

“Ugh. Guys, no. Okay, I am going to just go away right now, and then you guys get to be lovebirds again, okay?” I get up from my seat and turn to walk away.

“Wait, no, Kimmy! That’s not my fault! Come back here, this instant, young lady!” Lauren starts shouting.

“First of all, you are younger than me, missy. I am not a “young lady”. Second, I really do have to go to class, guys. So, bye,” I wave as I walk away and Lauren waves back with a pout on her face.

I walk absent-mindedly along the hall to my dorm. Truth be told, I am don’t have a class, but I wanted some alone time…to think about things. Or well, maybe to finish up that novel I started reading last weekend maybe. I begin to smile at the thought, but before I can react, a pair of feet stopped me.

“Hi, Kimmy.” The voice is horribly familiar. I look up to see a smiling Mai…that’s not what’s making my heart stop though.

It’s the fact that Kris is there too. And his arms are slung around her thin shoulders. With a smirk on his face.

“Kris?” I ask, flabbergasted, ignoring Mai.

“Ahem, Kimmy? I just thought we ought to tell you. Kris and I are dating now,” she smiles gleefully, her eyes shining with excitement and looking borderline manic. I turn to look at Kris, silently begging for his confirmation or rather, his denial. Please tell me, she’s lying. Please just give me a look that says you’re not really doing this. Kris…you’re just playing with me…aren’t you?

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you earlier, Kimmy,” he says coolly, looking at me straight in the eyes. I try to look for any hidden signs that might tell me he’s panicking inside, that he is disgusted by her skin against his, or that she just declared their dating status openly. No. None of that. Instead, he pulls her closer to him, her head almost reaching his. I hate to admit it, but she is taller than me, so she doesn’t look like a dwarf next to Kris.

“What? You’re not serious, are you?” I raise my eyebrows. I refuse to accept this. They are just pranking me. This is all a play. Mai is probably testing me. Kris likes that girl from the other school, right? Or was that just my imagination?

“No, I am, actually. I just asked her out a couple of days ago,” he replies, looking at her with adoring eyes. She gives him a smile back, almost as if she is still trying to convince herself that this is real for her too.

“What?” At risk of sounding idiotic, I still ask anyway. This cannot be true.

“As you can see, Kimmy, the talk about you has died down, hasn’t it? I was thinking a few days ago…since I started it because of Kris, and he asked me out already, I might as well do some damage control for you. The guilt is killing me,” she admits. I can taste the fakeness from her voice. But her expression is very convincing. I feel like she is the predator here. Her sole purpose is just to eliminate any competition. Maybe she has nothing personal against me, it’s just all for Kris. I wouldn’t know. My head is throbbing already.

“Kris, tell me. Is this true? What’s she’s saying? Is this all…not just an act? Tell me right now. The truth,” I demand. In response to that, his hands tighten around her arms and he frowns.

“Of course not, Kimmy. Sometimes, I wonder if you ever pay attention to people around you. You know, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Maybe if you paid more attention to me, you’d see that I have had a crush on Mai for some time now.”

“You told me you didn’t like her!” I blurt out.

“I didn’t want you to say anything about the subject. Plus, I was too embarrassed about it, anyway,” he brushes it off lightly. Now I am just struck with shock and disbelieve. Am I dreaming? Is he right? That I don’t pay enough attention to people around me? I feel my stomach take a plunge down a cliff, a hollow empty feeling left inside of me.

Maybe I don’t. That’s why Kris…He…

I look at him in dismay. “Kris, I…”

“It’s fine, Kimmy. Save it. I’ll see you tomorrow?” he smiles, a little forced, at me. I want to answer him, but I can’t. Mai just bats her eyelashes at him, still keeping up her sweet smile. He waves and turns his back on me, but stops before he takes a step. I found the reason to be Luhan.

“Kris!” Luhan calls out from the other end of the hallway. He sighs in relief at the sight of Kris, but as soon as he starts jogging to us, I watch his face fall. His eyes zooms on Kris’ arm around Mai. Confusion clouds his face and he slows down.

“Um, Kris? I think…um. That’s not very appropriate, is it?” he jabs his finger a little viciously to where the couple’s skin touches, Kris’ pale skin against hers.

“I don’t think so. What is it, Luhan?” he asks, a little impatiently. Mai just stands there and her eyes keep moving between Luhan and Kris.

“Um… that’s Mai, Kris. Are your eyes okay?” Luhan starts waving his hands wildly in front of Kris and Kris clicks his tongue.

“Tsk, you idiot. Yes, my eyes are fine. This is my girlfriend, Mai. Mai, this is Luhan, the idiot boy in my Philosophy class,” he rolls his eyes. I watch quietly as I see Luhan’s jaw drop and his eyes widen.

“Hi Luhan. I’m Mai. Nice to meet you,” Mai smiles widely and offers her hand for Luhan to shake but he doesn’t move his stare away from Kris. It’s quickly turning into a glare. I would have wanted to keep out of it, but a voice is screaming in my head to take Luhan away from here. He might not like this. I feel my legs move against my will and I rush forward, nudging Mai a little as I try to grab Luhan’s arm.

“Lulu, let’s go. I’ll tell you later,” I whisper to him but he pulls his arm away to free himself from my tight grasp.

“Kris, mind explaining?” he retorts.

“What’s there to explain? I like her. She likes me. So, boom. We start dating. Isn’t that how it always goes, Luhan? Maybe unlike you, I actually go after what I want the right way,” Kris snaps at Luhan and Luhan’s eyes glances at me before glowering at him. Why do I feel like Kris is attacking a certain sensitive spot in Luhan? Mai is starting to get scared at the tense situation. If it weren’t for the thought of tiny Luhan going up against the huge Kris, I would have scampered away myself. I stand up between them.

“Stop it. Let’s go Lulu. This is no place for us,” I try to push him away but my effort is futile. I might as well be pushing a brick wall. Maybe I don’t really need to worry about Lulu against Kris…

“No, Kimmy. Kris needs to answer my questions, honestly. What is this, Kris? Are you out of your stupid mind? After what Mai did to Kimmy?” Luhan speaks quietly, but I can hear the anger seeping through every word he says. He is channeling my anger, my hurt, my questions. The things I didn’t get a chance to show Kris.

Kris gives Luhan a condescending look and he rolls his eyes, as if telling himself to be patient with the imbecile standing in front of him. He opens his mouth to reply, but he didn’t get a chance to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

A punch knocks him out and Kris staggers backwards from the sheer force. Mai screams shrilly but no one is in the hall to pay attention to her this time. It is empty, but I spot a figure running to us. I can’t tell who it is.

“Kris! Are you okay?” she starts helping him up and touches his bleeding lips frantically. She is genuinely worried, that much I can tell. I step forward but step back again almost instantly.

Luhan. I almost forgot about him.  I whip my head back to see a non-smiling, unamused Luhan. He glares at Kris, who is wiping his lips with the back of his hand and reassuring Mai that he’s perfectly capable of walking. There is a strange look dancing around in Kris’ eyes but I can’t tell what. Amusement? Is that it?

“Baby Luhan finally grew up, did he?” Kris says teasingly. I can feel Luhan’s anger radiating intensely from him. He takes another step forward and as a reflex to stop him, my hands reach out as he takes another swing at Kris, who tries to dodge.

No. Too late, Kris. You dodged the wrong way, I thought panicking myself as Mai is too. She is screeching like a mad demon, too scared to step in between them.

“Stop!” a voice comes out of nowhere and a hand holds Luhan’s fist back, just in time as is it a few inches away from Kris’ handsome face.

“Baekhyun?” Luhan’s tone is sharp but unlike me, Baekhyun doesn’t wince.

“You guys need to stop this. This isn’t right,” he says calmly. He tries to put Luhan’s arm back down to his side but both seem to be putting on a fight.

“Baekhyun, look at this. Kris is dating Mai,” Luhan says angrily, still not accepting the truth as graciously as I want him too. But … do I really want him to? Is there a hidden part of me that thought Kris deserves the hit? After doing all this behind my back and all those things he said? Not that they’re false…

Baekhyun purses his lips but he maintains a neutral face.

“Luhan, let’s go,” he repeats, a little more sternly. Luhan doesn’t sway from his spot. But he spins to Baekhyun, an air of annoyance around him.

“Are you being serious too? Are you not going to defend Kimmy? Are you?” he corners Baekhyun but Baekhyun is not giving out under Luhan’s surprisingly intimidating look. Kris and Mai stand quietly, watching the scene before them.

“I didn’t say that at all. I just said that what you’re doing is wrong,” he replies quietly. He then looks at me, waiting for me to back him up. Luhan turns to me too and he is telling me to believe in him with his eyes. Both of them. They are asking me to choose right then and there. Do I side with Lulu? Or Baekhyun? I feel my heart beats erratically and abnormally loud. My mind is completely blank and I can’t control my movement. I try to control my breathing. My hand reaches out by itself. Wait, no, stop. I …

Baekhyun watches as I pull Luhan away from all of them. Luhan looks at me in shock, but I link my arm around his and pull him away. I don’t dare look at Baekhyun or Mai or Kris. I just walk out of the scene again and I felt like a coward for a second time this week. I keep walking and soon, Luhan’s life returns to him. He was limp before but now I can feel him coming back. He walks next to me and we both don’t break the silence. It’s not a good kind, neither the worst kind. But now isn’t the time. When we are quite far away, I risk a glance back.

Baekhyun is hidden by the towering Kris. But I can see his figure if only just for a nanosecond. His shoulders are slumped but his head is held up high. He is talking to Kris and Mai. I force myself to look forward and now its my turn to go limp. Luhan comes to the rescue and he slips his fingers in the space between mine. My skin tingles from the warmth and I hold his hand…tight.

When we are far away, he stops. He looks at me funnily.

“Baekhyun’s right…but…you chose me…you left him…”