Another busy day for SNSD,
everyone was preparing to leave and do a practice for their Mini Drama guest performance tomorrow in a show SBS.

Before the year 2009 ends, they will be doing a dance performance with the band 2PM.

Many fans were requesting to have these two phenomenon groups in one performance especially Taecyeon together with Yoona as the main power couple. There are also fanbases of other couples coming from these two groups.

After arriving in the dance studio, the girls readied their things while the 2PM are still on the way, they waited a while for them and for the choreographer to arrive and start the practice.

While waiting in the studio..

Manager: "Tiffany, is Nichkhun your boyfriend??" what a direct question..

The members were there also, sitting flat on the floor and could hear them talking.

Tiffany: "Uh? .... No!.."

Manager: "I already saw you! Honestly??" giving her a doubtful expression.

Tiffany: "No! He's just a friend"

Manager: "Then why he's meeting you at the dorm?"

Tiffany: "That's not what you think it is, we don't see each other often, and he just went there once"

The other members also started to wonder if Nichkhun and Tiffany had been close to each other since that day was the first time they saw Nichkhun looking for Tiffany.

Manager: "Anyway, whether you tell me or not, I just want to remind you to be more careful meeting with others especially guys. If people saw you, they can take it a big deal and make issues about it"

Tiffany just looked down. That was the first time she was thought to be dating Nichkhun. But she knows to herself that He is just a friend, He is not dating her, and He is not her boyfriend.

[Why do people think this way? Is there something different with our relationship as friends?]

Jessica: "Do you think you like him?"

Tiffany: "It's not that I like him that way!"

Taeyeon: "But you said he's your crush?"

Tiffany: "I didn't say that?!"

Taeyeon: "So he's not your crush??"

Tiffany just shook her head as a response.

Taeyeon: "But you like him, right? I mean, it's not that you love him, but you at least like him? xD"

At that moment, Tiffany felt like she was in a hot seat being interviewed by the members. She was uncomfortable answering these kinds of questions, and she didn't know how to answer right for them not to doubt about it. She knew that these questions be answerable by a "YES" or a "NO" and she found it easy to answer, but what makes it hard for her was on how to explain. She can tell she likes him, maybe? or maybe she was sure with that, but even to herself didn't know how she likes him, or why she likes him? She didn't want to ask herself that far so she ended up just saying [No, it's not that I like him, I dont like him that way] without any reason nor explanation.

Jessica: "Well, there's nothing wrong if you like him? :)"

Manager: "That is absolutely wrong! Have you forgotten? You're not allowed to have boyfriends, it is indicated in your contracts, and you know how strict Mr. SM is in terms of relationships, right?"

Jessica turned speechless, as well as the members. This is the reason why the girls date in a secret way. They don't want their managers, especially Soo Man to know they were having special relationships to others, it is an agreement for their career as being famous, however, they promised each other that whoever they date with, they mustn't keep it a secret to the members, not because they are in one group, but because they are real friends.

Manager:  "Okay! Let's get up now, 2PM are already here"

The girls stood up to get ready for the practice, their choreographer called them as the 2PM members arrived and also got to prepare.

SNSD's Manager: "Next time, please get the group on time, these girls can't waste time on waiting"

2PM's Manager: "Well, we're very sorry, we just have some issues between"

SNSD's Manager: "Those issues must not affect schedules of these girls, Sir"

2PM's Manager: "It was a personal issue of one of the members, but it is settled now, we can continue on a performance. We are very sorry"

After the meet, the two groups started to practice. Since SNSD members count more than 2PM, only few partners can do in a dance performance, particularly Taec with Yoona, Sooyoung with Chansung, and so on..

--
Tiffany was standing beside Wooyoung as her partner, as she was gazing at Nichkhun with Yuri. [Nichkhun is a tall guy, and Yuri is taller than me, that's why I became partner with Wooyoung, whose shorter than him.. right? right? If I'm taller like Yuri, I can be his partner.. right?] She was asking herself while staring at him when suddenly Nichkhun turned to her and waved his hands to greet "Hi!"

She smiled back at him and immediately looked away. She was worried others may notice and see how close they are, half of her mind says she shouldn't care about it because the members know they are friends already, and half of her says she must take a distance as the members are getting suspicious about it.

After a few hours of practice, they all took a rest and eat for a break.

--

Tiffany, before eating, went in a rest room to wash her face. It was not tiring at all, but she was feeling ill at ease.  [Don’t come close to him, don't look at him, don't talk to him, and don’t smile. Just get rid of him! I'm afraid why am I feelin' this, so put him off for now, and think of something else]

And after a while, she's done, she went out and was surprised to see Nichkhun was there actually waiting for her. She hadn't wiped her face yet after washing so she was taken aback to look.

Nichkhun: "Tiffany, they're waiting for you"

Tiffany: [Shoot! I told you -_-] "Yes! I'm about to go there.."

Nichkhun: "Let's go then :)"

Tiffany just nodded and followed him on the way. [Why with you? T.T]

Nichkhun was walking unhurried and was trying to face her.

Nichkhun: "By the way, here, take this.." lending out a medicine and offered it to her.

Tiffany: "What? A medicine? I'm not sick, Khun... and even if I am, I won't take that! That may be a potion xD"

Nichkhun: "A potion xD a Love potion? Of course not. I was thinking if you're okay, you look not so, I thought you could have this"

Tiffany: "I'm fine, Khun. Thanks anyway :)"  She suddenly thought she must be getting rid of him, so she was thinking of a way. "Eh, I forgot, I got to find Sooyoung, I have to go.." and then left him right away. Nichkhun just looked at her and was finding it wierd. He was wondering why she seems to avoid him.

After taking a break and done with the snack, they resumed topractice and finished it to be ready on performing tomorrow that day.

Tiffany managed not to look at Nichkhun all throughout the practice for she knows he may be looking at her too. She was not sure of what she was doing, but at least she tried.

--

After the practice they went back to their dorms, it was evening so they were all getting ready to sleep.

Jessica called her boyfriend, it is their daily routine for them to still keep in touch with each other since these days, 2PM and SNSD have been being together so they couldn't have time for both of them alone.

Jessica: "Have you arrived?"
Taecyeon: "Yes we're here, how about you?"
Jessica: "We're preparing to sleep"
Taecyeon: "Why you sound not alright? Are you okay?"
Jessica: "Naah.. I'm just.. tired.." it was obvious with her voice.

Taecyeon: "I know, that's why I didn't mind to call you up, I thought you must be sleeping right now"
Jessica: "I can't sleep"
Taecyeon: "Give yourself a rest, Jessica"

Jessica: "I'm jealous.." saying it in a calm manner. But it's more than that. She felt so jealous seeing her boyfriend holding hands with another girl. She know Yoona, her friend, that it is nothing to her, but still, she felt jealous, maybe because of their time being together, and she could do nothing for it.

Taecyeon: "Just a little wait, Sica. Tomorrow will be the last. I promise. This year won't end without me dating you. By the way, can we have a date after the show?"
Jessica: "Fine. Our manager just reminded us about having relationships"
Taecyeon: "What? So we're not going? I thought we...."
Jessica: "No, it's not what I mean! Yes I want a date, of course. I'm just changing the topic xD"
Taecyeon: "Then what's with the manager?"
Jessica: "Yes, I was thinking. Do you think Tiffany and Nichkhun are possibly dating? We asked her about that, but our manager hindered us to talk about it. Khun is your friend, maybe you know if he is dating someone, right?"
Taecyeon: "I'm not sure if they're really dating, but Nichkhun said he likes her, but I can't think that he's courting her now"
Jessica: "I'm so curious about them xD" 

Jessica didn't know Tiffany was actually listening to their conversation.  Tiffany didn't bother them, instead she just walked away and went to her bedroom.

Tiffany needed time of her own, she too was so confused about the situation. She didn't know why she can't help but to think about it, she felt strange to herself how she was thinking about Him this often. She came to ask herself if it's love, but she never answers.  She was too in denial.

[Fany, Fany, stop thinking about him from now on, okay?? The more you think, the more it gets complicated]

--

December of 2009, almost last day of the year and they were very excited on their last dance performance that year on SBS, especially because it was with the one of the popular groups in Korea, the SNSD.

The 2PM members were in their dressing rooms doing for their hairs and make ups, the same with the girls of SNSD.

They all set on the backstage waiting for their cue.

Taecyeon: "The girls look so stunning"
Wooyoung: "Yeah, they're all hot xD"
Taecyeon: "You, dirty! LOL"
Wooyoung: "Look at Tiffany :D"
Nichkhun: "My partner is better than her :D"
Wooyoung: "Yuri?"
Taecyeon: "No, it's Jessica~"
Nichkhun: "No! Yoona :D" chattering while they wait.

Wooyoung: "Guys!!" waving at the members. "Good luck! :)"

Nichkhun kept on glancing secretly at Tiffany, and he can't deny it, she's beautiful, always.. He tried to step closer to approach her but she moved away.

After a few minutes, they were called by the MC to perform on stage.

"Let's all enjoy this guys!" "Hwaiting!"

--

After the performance, all of them met backstage and reviewed their performance. The feedbacks were good, the fans enjoyed it, and they shouted at the top of their lungs, it was a good performance for them to end the year. “Out of all the awesome joint performances at SBS Gayo Daejun, this might be the best of all.” c.r

--

Before leaving, their managers arranged a dinner for the groups, they also talked about another endorsement collaborating SNSD and 2PM, since it would gain more income for the both company.

After a while, Soo Man lit a cigerette which caused various reactions from the girls, others were indifferent, but Tiffany found the smoke a bit unpleasant.

Tiffany: "I'm going out for a while.. Excuse" she left the area and went at the balcony to get some fresh air.
Then suddenly, Wooyoung went to follow Tiffany after he's done eating. "Tiffany, are you busy after this?" He asked her in still.

From afar, Nichkhun can see them at the balcony, he has no idea what they were talking about, but from what he was seeing, it seems that they were doing a too personal talk, which was expressed by their faces. He saw Tiffany nodding at Wooyoung while he stepped closer to her then gave a present to her. Nichkhun waited what Tiffany’s reaction would be, but he saw nothing, just a speechless Tiffany. He saw Tiffany can’t even say anything so he turned to be more curious about what they were really talking about until Tiffany held Wooyoung’s hand.

He wanted to look away from them for him not to see, but that moment felt like the time had stopped and he can’t help but stare at them. He felt his heart beating in pain, this was the third time he saw them together, but this time, he wasn’t just jealous, he was hurt.

[Why are they doing that?..]

Nichkhun took a deep breath and noticed that he was about to let out tears so he immediately stood up from his seat and walked away from the area.

He went down without even looking back at them. [I can’t believe this.. this is.. too painful..]

He was thinking too hard what is really happening. Wooyoung had been sharing a lot about being with Tiffany, Tiffany seems to avoid him, and then now he just saw them together at the balcony having conversations as Tiffany held his hand.

That time, Nichkhun felt so hopeless. How can he do anything for it if he has no right to? He was just in love, not committed, so whatever he feels, happiness or pain, he can never bother it to her.

 He walked and went out the building to ride his car. He felt so tired, disgusted, so he decided to go home already.

Upon entering the car, a familiar voice called him. “Khun..”

It was Tiffany, but Nichkhun just stared at her for a while.

Nichkhun: “I’m leaving” reaching at the door of his car.

Tiffany: “It’s not time yet to leave, Khun..”

Nichkhun: “I’m tired, I want to go home” and then opened his car.

Tiffany: “I’m going with you..”

But Nichkhun seems not to hear anything.

Tiffany: “Nichkhun??”

Nichkhun: “Why you went out from there? Are they done with the meeting?”

Tiffany: “No! I said I want to go with you!”

Nichkhun looked at her but still wasn’t believing it.

Nichkhun: “You can’t, Tiffany. I’m going home already”

Tiffany: “If you won’t let me to go with you, then, we are over! Our friendship is over! And I would be mad at you for the rest of my days!”

Nichkhun: “What is it with you?! Why are you always making this hard for me?!”

Suddenly, Wooyoung came out walking from the building and saw them both. “Hey? Is everything okay here? Are you leaving, Khun?”

Nichkhun didn’t answer, instead, he quickly grabbed Tiffany’s hand and guided her to get inside his car.

Wooyoung: “Hey! Khun? Where are you taking her?!”

But Nichkhun ran to get in his seat and quickly started the car then left the place.

Wooyoung: “Nichkhun!!”

They left Wooyoung before he could say anything. He was wondering why did Tiffany just let Nichkhun to take her, and what are they doing here at the first place? That was the time Wooyoung became suspicious.

[No, I don’t think so.. They weren’t even seen close together? They can’t do this.. maybe, she was just getting away from me]

--

In the car, Nichkhun tend first not to say anything. He was looking for a way to go, he can’t drive straight home with Tiffany, that would be an issue about them. So he decided to go on a way anywhere he could drive.

Tiffany: “Khun? Are we really goin’ to stay like this? Why don’t you talk to me?!”

Nichkhun: “Me? You know how much I wanted to talk to you, but you always walk away from me!”

Tiffany realized it wasn’t him, it was her who has a problem, and it was her avoiding him. But she doesn’t really want to avoid him!  In fact, she wanted to be with him as much as possible. What she’s been avoiding was her feelings for him. Later on she realized she was building feelings for this guy, and she was afraid of it. Afraid of falling in love.

Nichkhun: “Have you any idea how hurt I was to see you with him? He said trying not to look at her, trying to hold back his tears. “How much I think if he really loves you?”

Tiffany: “You saw it?”

Nichkhun: “How you held hands..”

Tiffany: “Khun?...”

Nichkhun: “But however I look at it, even if I don’t look, it is still painful for me. Just the thought of it still hurts me, more and more..”

Tiffany: “I don’t want to hurt you..” also holding back not to cry. “I never wanted to! I’m sorry..”

Nichkhun: “It’s not your fault, and it’s not also mine. I guess loving someone really goes through this. We love and we hurt. I’m fair with that, Tiffany..”

Tiffany [This is barely my fault. I became so selfish, I chose to lie about this love, and now, someone is hurt because of me, he don’t deserve this, I’m so confused right now.. Please God.. help me..]

She doesn’t want to ruin Nickhun’s friendship with Wooyoung, she doesn’t want to violate her contract’s agreement about having relationships, and she doesn’t want to choose between her career and her love life. These are the reasons why she’s afraid of what she feels for him, lots of hindrances. [There’s nothing wrong being happy, there’s nothing wrong to love someone] –she once said to Jessica. But now, it seems like she’s the one disbelieving this.

Nichkhun stopped the car before the street.

Nichkhun: “Tiffany.. Are you in love with Wooyoung?”

Tiffany: “What you saw a while ago.. Wooyoung told me he loves me.. so much.. He asked me to be his girlfriend.. But I refused him.. Because I don’t feel the same for him.. Please, Khun.. Don’t be jealous anymore, ‘cause I don’t love him.. and please never get hurt about it again. I don’t want you to be hurt..”

Nichkhun felt at ease after she said that. He realized he was not hopeless at all. Somehow, his worries turned into chances. And he was happy for it, so happy to hear those words from her. He smiled.

Suddenly, a beautiful fireworks display caught their attention. They forgot the year was about to end, and a new year must be welcomed by lots of fireworks. They both looked at it through the window. Very beautiful and it made them smile.

Nichkhun got off the car as well as Tiffany to see a clearer view of it.

[I remember the last year’s Christmas Day.. It was as spectacular as this.. still with him..]

Tiffany: “Khun, can you break your promise now?”

Nichkhun: “What?” staring at her clueless.

Tiffany: “I knew the answer before, but now I really want to ask and hear it from you..” “Why are you doing this.. to me??”

Nichkhun smiled. “Because I love you, Tiffany..”

She knew it, and she felt sincerity from it. She felt how willing he is for it, he was not afraid at all, and she thought to herself she too mustn’t be afraid about it too. [This is my happiness, I got to own it..]

Nichkhun: “Why?? Why you asked?? You feel the same with me?? Huh?? Tiffany??”

Tiffany laughed at him, then unexpectedly gave him a hug..  She couldn’t come with words to say, all she felt was happiness, for the first time, she gave up on her consequences in mind, and just let herself be happy for what is there.

Nichkhun: “Tiffany?? Hey! I already said I love you!  Aren’t you going to say that you love me too? This is unfair!”

Tiffany immediately let go of the hug, and gave him a kiss.. on his cheek xD a kiss as a response to him.

Nichkhun: “I knew it.. I got it..”

Tiffany: “Did anyone see it??” She asked him as she gazes around checking if anyone was there.

Nichkhun: “No, I don’t think so :)”

Tiffany: “Good..” She nodded then opened the car to get herself in.

Nichkhun also got in his car. His smile can’t be hidden, he couldn’t help but just smile, smile, and smile.

He started the car and drove her back to her dorm.

[Why? Why? Why? I can officially drive for her anytime from now on! She’s my girlfriend. And I love rephrasing this in my mind. She’s my girlfriend. The one I waited for so long..]

--

Special thanks to my friends Seiji07 for helping me in the excerpt of this chapter, and Jenicakrung who gave me posters of SNSD and Nichkhun. All of these inspired me on writing this new chapter. Thank You again! Always and forever :)