SEHUN

 

 

My head shot up at the sound of the door unlocking. 

 

"We need to talk," I said.

 

"Yeah, I think you're right".

 

"So... I- god this is harder than I thought". I had tears in my eyes.

 

"It's okay, Sehun-ah. I understand-"

 

"But you don't understand, I just- I want to still love you, but,"

 

"You don't," he finished for me.

 

"No. I don't, not in that way anymore". I was sill standing in the doorway. He stood and came over to me. "I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner, but I didn't really know until know. And I didn't want to throw away what we had over nothing". 

 

"Sehun-ah. I get it really. We're having problems. After the fight...I don't think we really resolved the problem did we? We were just-"

 

"Blinded? Yeah, I think we've been in love for so long...we just put it behind us," I brushed my fingers against his hand. He held my hand like a lifeline.

 

"This is sad," he said. I let out a strangled laugh... Or sob? I still don't know.

 

"Yeah," I said.

 

"Is it- is it Luhan?" He asked tentatively.

 

"Yes. Yes, and I'm sorry. "

 

 

"Sehun-ah," he tilted my chin up to look at him, "you will always have a special place in my heart," he leaned his head down against mine. "I will always love you".

 

"Me too. I'll always love you too. Why are you so okay with all of this? I thought this might at least upset you a little". I realized I sounded hurt, which wasn't really fair since I was the one breaking up with him. He bit his lip nervously.

 

"Kyungsoo".

 

"Kyungsoo Hyung?" I smiled widely. "I'm happy for you. Kyungsoo. He really loves you".

 

"How could you know that?"

 

"He always has. I could always see it".

 

"Really?"

 

"Mhm". He pulled away. A sad smile graced his full lips. He kissed my forehead.

 

"Quick question," he said as he sauntered toward the kitchen counter.

 

"What?"

 

"What are we going to do about the living situation?"

 

"Oh. Um... Well, there's the guest room. We're still friends right? Is that okay with you? I- I kind of depend on you for three quarters of the rent..." I winced. He laughed out loud.

 

"Yeah! That's fine, Sehun-ah. That's what I figured we would do. I didn't know if you'd be...uncomfortable".

 

"Right. I'll move my stuff," I got up to start doing just that.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"You pay 75%. You pick the room you want. It's only fair," I countered. He grinned, one eye squinting smaller than the other, and nodded.

 

"Okay. Um...do you mind if I..." He blushed. 

 

"To see Kyungsoo? Go. Go! It's okay!" I told him. He straightened up, grabbed his phone and keys, and ran out the door. 

 

I really was happy for him. I'm glad it wasn't a messy breakup, those are always...hard to recover a friendship from. Thank god Jongin and I were okay. Even though we aren't together anymore... I don't think I could get through a day knowing he wasn't my friend. 

 

I waited five minutes after Jongin left to call Luhan. If Kyungsoo was going to know, Luhan would know too.

 

"Hello?" He answered.

 

"Come over." Wow Sehun, straight to the point.

 

"Ummm...I don't know if that would be such a good idea... With you know..." He stuttered.

 

"It important, Luhan. Would you just come?"

 

I heard a sigh. " I'll be there in twenty minutes." Then he hung up.

 

I looked around, unsure what to do until he got here, I decided to keep moving my stuff into the guest room, which was now my room. It didn't take long, Jongin and I shared most things, and I didn't have to move any furniture except for my nightstand. When I was finished, I sat myself down on the couch to wait.

 

 I was jittery and nervous, trying to figure out how to tell Luhan.

 

Should I just...kiss him? No. Too forward. Should I hug him? Too impersonal. I imagined myself saying "hey Luhan, Jongin and I just broke up, wanna go out?"

 

 "Ohmygod, why did I call him?" I asked myself aloud. I put my face in my hands.

 

"Sehun-ah? Are you okay?" My head snapped up and I stood and before I knew it I was across the room and hugging him and I didn't ever want to let go. I felt his arms encircle my waist and hug me back. After I don't know how long Luhan clearly got uncomfortable.

 

"Um...Sehun-ah? I can't- breathe," he managed.

 

"Oh!" I jumped back, "sorry! Sorry, I'm just- imhappytoseeyou," I rushed.

 

"I'm- I'm happy to see you too, but- look, I don't think that Jongin would be too happy about it- I just don't want to-"

 

"We broke up".

 

"You-" he stared at me, dumbfounded.

 

"We broke up," I repeated.

 

"W-why?" He asked, shaking his head incredulously.

 

"We...we'd had problems and...we both loved someone else". I met his eyes.

 

"Me?"

 

"Yes, you". Slowly, a wide smile spread across his face. He closed the one foot space between us and our lips met for the first time. 

 

It felt so natural, and...right. I kissed him back. 

 

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I said into his lips. He pulled back and hugged me tight. His head on my chest, our arms around each other, we stood there for what seemed like, what I wished could have been forever.