JONGIN

 

 

I needed some time for myself...I feel bad though, about leaving Sehun without a ride. He'll figure it out. I thought all of these things to only myself as Baekhyun rambled on, and on and on about...something.

 

"Jongin? Are you okay?" Chanyeol looked concerned.

 

"What? Huh?" 

 

The gave a meaningful glance at each other, they looked at Joonmyun for an explanation, but he gestured to me.

 

"What's on your mind, Jongin?" Baekhyun asked me. They were good friends, but I did not feel like talking about my relationship troubles with two men who had been perfectly happy for years. Yippee for them.

 

"Nothing, really. Is just that Sehun and I had a fight and-"

 

"What?!" Baekhyun screamed.

 

"Shut up! Oh god now everyone is staring and-" and then Chanyeol cut me off.

 

"You had a fight? But you guys NEVER fight!"

 

"I know! Just shut up for a minute! It's fine now. I'm just worried about it that's all".

 

"We'll then it isn't fine".

 

"Really, Baekhyun? Come on, drop it. He's just still getting over it that's all. They only just made up," Joonmyun pointed out.

 

"Look, guys, it's FINE Sehun and I will figure it out. We always do. I just don't want to have this conversation," I stirred my drink with my straw and pretended to be infatuated with an oddly shaped ice cube. From the corner of my eye I saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchange a meaningful glance again.

 

"Okay. Let's talk about something else then! Like....ummm..." Baekhyun's eyes drifted over to Chanyeols hands which were thumping away on the table to the beat of the music.

 

"Yah! Is talent night isn't it?" Baekhyun asked.

 

"I think, why? Do you want to sing?" Chanyeol replied, clearly surprised. Baekhyun had always had trouble with stage fright when he was singing. In the fifth grade talent show he fainted before he even started singing.

 

"Yeah. We all could. Maybe Jongin could dance some too," he so subtly suggested.

 

"I don't want to dance. I'll watch you guys, okay?"

 

"Awww! Jonginnie! Please! I love watching you dance". He pouted.

 

"Ugh. Fine, I'll think about it".

 

"Yay! Let's go Chanyeolie! We have to ask for a song!"

 

"Oh goodness.." He said before Baekhyun dragged him away, and Joonmyun followed behind. I sat alone awaiting the sound of Chanyeol's and Baekhyun's voices in song. A

 

Do I really forgive Sehun? He says he didn't do anything...but how could I know? It's not that I don't trust my Sehun-ah...it's just... I know how people can be. I used to be that person.

 

But Baekhyun's voice always cheered me up; and that paired with Chanyeols foolish smile and attempt to dance, well, it had me smiling the ought the whole song.

 

Baekhyun: Machi amugeotdo moreuneun airo geureoke. Dashi taeeonan sungan gachi

 

Joonmyun: Jamshi kkumilkkabwa han beon deo nun gamatda tteo boni.Yeokshi neomu ganjeolhaetdeon ne ape gidohadeut seo isseo-

 

Awww. They're doing my favorite song- Angel. I smiled to myself about this. And all of a sudden they were all waving and motioning for someone to come on stage. Not me; and then Kyungsoo's sweet voice was washing over me like ocean waves.

 

Kyungsoo's: yeah, dan han beonman ne yeopeseo

Bareul matchwo georeo bogopa han beon,

Ttak han beon manyo

 

I sighed. Kyungsoo's really did have a nice voice. They let Chanyeol take the first part of the chorus.

 

Chanyeol: Neoui sesangeuro 

yeah, yeorin barameul tago, yeah. Ne gyeoteuro

Joonmyun: eodieseo wannyago

Baekhyun: Haemarkge mutneun nege bimirira malhaesseo

All: Manyang idaero hamkke georeumyeon

Kyungsoo: Eodideun cheongugilteni

 

They ended part way through the song, because there was a time limit, but I really was touched by the gesture. They all looked at me, pleading silently; but it was Kyungsoo's wide begging eyes that really did me in. I stood up, and started to walk toward the stage. Kyungsoo stepped forward and spoke into the microphone- 

 

"That was for our very good friend- Kim Jongin! And now, I believe he is going to dance for you!" He smiled at the audience, then at me. I jogged up the steps to the brightly lit stage. They all passed by me going down- some giving side hugs, some just smiled, but I caught Kyungsoo by the arm as he went by. 

 

"Sing for me?" I raised my eyebrows. He pretended to think for a moment, and I tilted my head at him in my best- oh come on- look. He nodded, a smile playing a melody on his lips.  He returned to the stage and I followed. "You choose the song, I'll dance to anything," I told him.

 

He walked over to the DJ and whispered something in his ear. I heard the first notes of Baby Don't Cry. This was our favorite slow song as kids. I waited until he started singing to move. 

 

"deoneun mangseoliji ma jebal. Nae simjangeul geodoo-eoga. Geurae nalkaro-ulsurog chohwa. dalbitjochado nooneul gameun bam-".

 

I moved my arms and head in sharp, fluid motions, following with my legs and flowing into each step. Sometimes I looked at the crowd, sometimes away. It felt as though Kyungsoo and I were just kids again, and we were alone in the dance studio, him singing and watching me dance to his song. 

 

I jumped up, and turned around. It felt so good to dance again, I hadn't in a while. I'd been busy with my own problems, but dancing made me let go, and throw all of my emotions into the choreography. Every step I took, every motion I made had a meaning to me. I put my anger, my desperation, my confusion as well as my happiness and love into the performance. Lastly, I turned quickly and stopped abruptly, then turned away from the audience a stopped completely as the last piano notes played.

 

By the end, I was exhausted and my eyes were brimmed with tears, but it felt good. Dancing had always helped me think, I guess Baekhyun knew that when he told me to dance tonight. When I looked up the audience was clapping vigorously, much more than usual, and Kyungsoo was smiling back at me, and waving to the audience. We heard whoops from our friends and both doubled over in laughter. Kyungsoo gestured to me and the crowd cheered ecstatically, I grinned proudly. I threw an arm over Kyungsoo's shoulders and we bowed together, then exited the stage. We waved at the door to Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Joonmyun letting them know we were leaving.

 

We walked around the block for while, the city lights glittering around us. Kyungsoo stepped in a puddle, and I chuckled, thinking of the time a car drove through a puddle and splashed me on the way to his house. That was only a few days ago. So much had happened since then. So much had changed, I had changed. My feelings had changed. We didn't speak for a while, and when we arrived at the park where I had decided to go to his house, the gate was locked. i looked at him, asking permission, he shrugged. we jumped the fence together landing with a loud bang on the ground. We plopped ourselves down in a grassy field under a tree. We gazed at the stars through the branches. I glanced at Kyungsoo, only to see that he was already looking at me, the stars reflected in his wide, perfectly round eyes.

 

"I have this friend," I commented.

 

"Uh huh".

 

"He has a boyfriend," I continued and Kyungsoo turned back to the sky.

 

"Go on," he told me.

 

"He was telling me, the other day, that he might have...feelings for someone else, but he doesn't know what to do about them...or whether the other guy feels the same". I said this with a knowing tone, hoping Kyungsoo would understand. He turned in his side and propped his head up on his hand.

 

"Well, how does his boyfriend feel?"

 

"I- he doesn't know". Kyungsoo smiled shyly at my slip up.

 

"We'll, he should figure that out first. Chances are that the other guy feel the same way". He told me this confidently.

 

"How come?"

"Just a hunch," he whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked up.

 

"Do you hear that?"

 

"Do I hear wha- YAH! The sprinklers are on!" I screamed. We both jumped up and began to run around in the watery spray like children. After about ten minutes we were tired and soaking wet. We laid down again, water dripping off of our faces, still laughing and caught our breath. 

 

"Hey! You, over there! Get out of here! The park is closed!" We lifted our heads at the unfamiliar voice.

 

"Oh god," Kyungsoo groaned. I laughed and jumped up, offering a hand to Kyungsoo.

 

"Sorry, sir! We were just fooling around!" We walked to the gate and jumped over it again, back out into the street. I heard the old officer mutter something like- dumb kids don't understand a park is closed when there's a locked fence...- and smiled to myself for the millionth time that night.

 

I walked Kyungsoo home along the three blocks that it took to get to his house. He thanked me and our goodnight hug lingered a bit longer than it should have. I swallowed hard.

 

"I...have to figure something out. I'll see you soon, okay? I need to talk to my friend and give him your advice". I winked, trying to lighten the mood. He nodded curtly, and shut the door. I my heel and ambled back to my apartment and opened the door in a daze, thinking all about Kyungsoo. When I looked up, Sehun was waiting for me at the kitchen table, a grim expression on his face.